Feeling Dull During Meditation from the media The Longing in Our Hearts

A man who underwent anaesthetic asks about his perceived lack of awareness. Rupert suggests that awareness remained wide awake, but his perceiving faculties were ‘switched off’. Awareness is not aware of itself in subject-object relationship, so without the content of experience awareness is only aware of itself.

A man says he feels as if he's experienced 'pure consciousness' a number of times but still feels there is a slight sense of separation. He says there has to be more or something deeper and asks if that would come through the grace of God. Rupert asks about the one who longs for deeper unity. Wanting to experience more validates and perpetuates that one and prevents us from experiencing God's being, which is already present as our own being.

A man says that he knows he was born but doesn’t remember a time when he wasn’t aware. ‘I have always been.’ Rupert suggests that his body was born and then asks whether there is an ‘always’. Our being would say that it eternally is, not always.

A man shares his ongoing experience of self-enquiry, which feels slow. Rupert suggests that he is thinking of self-enquiry as something we do with our mind. Once the question has been asked, it is no longer a mental process. Self-enquiry gives way to self-abidance. Being knowingly the ‘I am’, which is the ultimate surrender. There is no room for the separate self. Whatever takes you to your true nature is self-enquiry.

A man says he has been practising for years but now has an aversion to resting in awareness because his teacher was accused of abusive experiences. Rupert suggests that he use this event to stop following teachers and trust himself. Neither abdicate your discrimination nor associate the understanding with a person.

A man references Rupert’s suggestion that hatred is love that is veiled. Rupert says that what he meant by that is that love is the source of everything, even hatred. Hatred is love filtered through a thick veil of separation. Love is the foundation of all relationships, which is more or less veiled by a sense of separation.

A man asks about the relationship and differences between the inward- and outward-facing paths, particularly the sense of expansion. Rupert responds that there are two aspects to being that we find on the inward and outward path which are peace and love, respectively. Imagine you are being itself: inside the mind being experiences itself as peace, outside as love.

Self-abidance is an intellectual way of surrendering to God. Surrendering to God is an emotional way of self-abiding.

A man asks about how to cooperate with self-abidance. Rupert suggests that he simply follow the meditations that are derived from the distilled essence of forty-five years of the exploration of surrender and abidance.

A first-time retreatant asks how best to be at this retreat. She says, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing here’ and has an impulse to be alone. Rupert asks if she wants to be in solitude because she is resting in being or because she is avoiding people. She says she finds people to be a distraction, so he suggests that she spends as much time with others as possible. See God’s infinite being everywhere and in everything.

A woman asks, ‘What is the point?’ Rupert suggests though ‘I am’ is always qualified by something, the unqualified ‘I am’ is always there. The point is peace, joy, love. What we do is the most direct route to that. The reason why we are here at a retreat is because it isn’t completely clear to all of us, experientially, that our nature is peace on the inside and love on the outside. We come to discover that and to celebrate it.

A woman asks about why infinite consciousness has localised itself in form. Why is there anyone? Rupert suggests there is no reason, it is just its nature. Why does a couple have a child? Because of an overflowing of love.

A woman asks why Rupert said he doesn’t like spiritual people. Rupert says that it was a spontaneous light-hearted answer which was meant for consumption without analysis and is not to be taken out of context. When others ask what I do, I tailor my answer to them, but I don’t call myself a spiritual teacher.

A woman talks about a ‘threshold’ between thinking we are separate and something magical happening, then it switches. Rupert suggests that sometimes it happens suddenly, but for most of us it’s a slow gradual process. Hold in your heart the felt understanding that you share your being with everyone and everything. Allow that being to take care of reclaiming your mind and your body.

A woman, who has given up her yoga studio, asks what dharma is. Rupert suggests that when we are doing our dharma, we are doing work that shares the peace we feel on the inside on the outside. Check and see if your actions come from peace and love or do they come from a sense of lack. This impulse is there for us to tailor that activity even more, as a personal expression of the impersonal.

A woman asks, ‘If we are formed from love, why do we see separation?’ Rupert suggests that for the one to appear as the universe, it must do so from the limited perspective of each of our minds. The finite cannot know the infinite. Rupert uses the dream analogy to further clarify. It is the price consciousness pays for knowing itself in the form of manifestation.

A man presses Rupert on his statement that there is no reason for manifestation. Rupert offers an alternative to that previous statement. Infinite being gives up the knowing of its being to manifest. It gives up its happiness to do so, which leaves a longing in our heart. What we long for is to be returned to our source, to be divested of our limitations. There is no separate self. The longing we feel is infinite being attracting us back to our self.

A person asks about longing. Love and peace are both reflections in our mind of the pull back to our true nature. King Lear doesn’t make his way back. There is no King Lear. It’s all John Smith. John Smith loses himself in King Lear, and it is John Smith who attracts himself back to itself. Longing is a great echo.

A man who underwent anaesthetic asks about his perceived lack of awareness. Rupert suggests that awareness remained wide awake, but his perceiving faculties were ‘switched off’. Awareness is not aware of itself in subject-object relationship, so without the content of experience awareness is only aware of itself.

A man says he feels as if he's experienced 'pure consciousness' a number of times but still feels there is a slight sense of separation. He says there has to be more or something deeper and asks if that would come through the grace of God. Rupert asks about the one who longs for deeper unity. Wanting to experience more validates and perpetuates that one and prevents us from experiencing God's being, which is already present as our own being.

A man says that he knows he was born but doesn’t remember a time when he wasn’t aware. ‘I have always been.’ Rupert suggests that his body was born and then asks whether there is an ‘always’. Our being would say that it eternally is, not always.

A man shares his ongoing experience of self-enquiry, which feels slow. Rupert suggests that he is thinking of self-enquiry as something we do with our mind. Once the question has been asked, it is no longer a mental process. Self-enquiry gives way to self-abidance. Being knowingly the ‘I am’, which is the ultimate surrender. There is no room for the separate self. Whatever takes you to your true nature is self-enquiry.

A man says he has been practising for years but now has an aversion to resting in awareness because his teacher was accused of abusive experiences. Rupert suggests that he use this event to stop following teachers and trust himself. Neither abdicate your discrimination nor associate the understanding with a person.

A man references Rupert’s suggestion that hatred is love that is veiled. Rupert says that what he meant by that is that love is the source of everything, even hatred. Hatred is love filtered through a thick veil of separation. Love is the foundation of all relationships, which is more or less veiled by a sense of separation.

A man asks about the relationship and differences between the inward- and outward-facing paths, particularly the sense of expansion. Rupert responds that there are two aspects to being that we find on the inward and outward path which are peace and love, respectively. Imagine you are being itself: inside the mind being experiences itself as peace, outside as love.

Self-abidance is an intellectual way of surrendering to God. Surrendering to God is an emotional way of self-abiding.

A man asks about how to cooperate with self-abidance. Rupert suggests that he simply follow the meditations that are derived from the distilled essence of forty-five years of the exploration of surrender and abidance.

A first-time retreatant asks how best to be at this retreat. She says, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing here’ and has an impulse to be alone. Rupert asks if she wants to be in solitude because she is resting in being or because she is avoiding people. She says she finds people to be a distraction, so he suggests that she spends as much time with others as possible. See God’s infinite being everywhere and in everything.

A woman asks, ‘What is the point?’ Rupert suggests though ‘I am’ is always qualified by something, the unqualified ‘I am’ is always there. The point is peace, joy, love. What we do is the most direct route to that. The reason why we are here at a retreat is because it isn’t completely clear to all of us, experientially, that our nature is peace on the inside and love on the outside. We come to discover that and to celebrate it.

A woman asks about why infinite consciousness has localised itself in form. Why is there anyone? Rupert suggests there is no reason, it is just its nature. Why does a couple have a child? Because of an overflowing of love.

A woman asks why Rupert said he doesn’t like spiritual people. Rupert says that it was a spontaneous light-hearted answer which was meant for consumption without analysis and is not to be taken out of context. When others ask what I do, I tailor my answer to them, but I don’t call myself a spiritual teacher.

A woman talks about a ‘threshold’ between thinking we are separate and something magical happening, then it switches. Rupert suggests that sometimes it happens suddenly, but for most of us it’s a slow gradual process. Hold in your heart the felt understanding that you share your being with everyone and everything. Allow that being to take care of reclaiming your mind and your body.

A woman, who has given up her yoga studio, asks what dharma is. Rupert suggests that when we are doing our dharma, we are doing work that shares the peace we feel on the inside on the outside. Check and see if your actions come from peace and love or do they come from a sense of lack. This impulse is there for us to tailor that activity even more, as a personal expression of the impersonal.

A woman asks, ‘If we are formed from love, why do we see separation?’ Rupert suggests that for the one to appear as the universe, it must do so from the limited perspective of each of our minds. The finite cannot know the infinite. Rupert uses the dream analogy to further clarify. It is the price consciousness pays for knowing itself in the form of manifestation.

A man presses Rupert on his statement that there is no reason for manifestation. Rupert offers an alternative to that previous statement. Infinite being gives up the knowing of its being to manifest. It gives up its happiness to do so, which leaves a longing in our heart. What we long for is to be returned to our source, to be divested of our limitations. There is no separate self. The longing we feel is infinite being attracting us back to our self.

A person asks about longing. Love and peace are both reflections in our mind of the pull back to our true nature. King Lear doesn’t make his way back. There is no King Lear. It’s all John Smith. John Smith loses himself in King Lear, and it is John Smith who attracts himself back to itself. Longing is a great echo.