Be at Peace with Your Own Death from the media Be A Quiet Beacon of Peace

A man says he has felt himself as a separate self for fifty years, and it’s hard not to. Rupert suggests that he lets go of his separate self every night when he falls asleep. We let go of the world, body, and then our thoughts and images and rest in our true nature. It is the same process, whilst remaining awake. The belief that it is hard to drop the separate self is just a thought.

A woman says she's had a sense of presence for being and realised that there is a subtle objectification of that. Rupert suggests the 'I' that had a sense of presence and the awareness are not two things but the same. Neither is an object, because an object cannot know or be aware of anything. Whatever is aware is what we commonly call 'I'.

A man with a Christian background asks about the experience of silence of the heart. Rupert suggests that the silence of the heart is just the pure experience of being. It is a non-objective experience – transparent, silent being. It is that which shines in each of our minds as the knowledge ‘I am’.

What happens when we die? Where do we go? Rupert replies that it depends on what you mean by 'we'. If you mean the true, eternal collective 'I', the answer is nothing will happen, like nothing happens to the space when a building is torn down. The space stays the same. It is the same with being, which is what 'we' are.

A man asks about what the role of faith plays in experiencing God. Rupert suggests that if by faith you mean the complete giving up of your own will, so that God comes into the place of yourself as your self and you accept everything as the will of that, that is the direct path of surrender.

A woman relays her experience of struggling with her mind. Rupert suggests that alongside psychiatric medication she could explore therapy and pause her enquiry into non-duality, which is destabilising when the mind is out of balance.

A woman, who says that someone she loves expects her to relate in codependent ways to which she is now saying 'no', wonders if that is the right decision. Rupert replies that it's a fine line between not colluding with the ego and abandoning them when they are in need. You have to find a way of helping that doesn't collude with the ego.

A man asks for practical ways to uproot the fear of death. Rupert suggests that the only way is to recognise the nature of your being. Any other method would distract you from it, covering over the fear. As we return again and again to the nature of our being, the fear of death just naturally leaves us, like when a cold just leaves us and health is restored. Don’t pay attention to the fear of death; focus on your true being.

A woman, who had a profound experience at a retreat years ago, says pain and surgeries had brought her back and she asks if that realisation will eventually stabilise. Rupert suggests we first go inward to realise our being is unlimited, like the space in and outside our room. Infinite being is not ours; it is God's being, the same being from which everyone and everything derives its existence. The appearance of ten thousand things loses its capacity to veil this oneness. The reality of things outshines the appearances.

A man shares his experience of doubting himself during yoga meditations. Rupert suggests that he not look for evidence of his understanding in his formulations of the understanding – some can and some can’t formulate it. However, causeless peace on the inside is the hallmark of the understanding, as well as unconditional or impartial love on the outside.

A man says that when he engages in stillness or meditates, he goes into a dream state and is unable to maintain relaxed alertness. Rupert responds that in relaxing your attention from the world, you get stuck on images, like in the dream state. Go back through the images whilst remaining awake, perhaps by asking, ‘What is aware of these thoughts and images?’

A man asks about how to have the background of awareness always be present. Rupert suggests you can use mechanical devices to help you – notes on the mirror, etc – but these are exterior devices. The best way is to increase your love of truth. One good way of doing that is reading the testament of the sages and recognising your true nature. It is the combination of love and understanding.

A woman asks about feeling joy when resting in the silence of the heart, rather expansion and peace, but it always feels like 'I' am having this experience. Rupert responds that we cannot experience happiness, we can only be happy. We cannot be unhappiness; we can only be unhappy. You're looking for happiness as an experience. Stay with the peace which quietly overflows into a quiet joy.

A woman asks if we can apply the lack of fear of the individual to the fear some feel about the end of the human race. Rupert suggests that others may not have recognised the nature of their being and, therefore, fear the death of humanity. It is all traced back to the mistaken belief that we are a body and mind. If you want to help your community, the best thing you can do is just be this quiet beacon of peace.

A man, who practised self-enquiry in search of relief from depression and experienced bodily shaking and also heightened anxiety, asks how to find peace with pain that feels like childhood trauma. Rupert replies that it sounds like the unravelling of these traumas. The tensions are relaxing and they have strong energetic manifestations. Be loving with yourself in your practice. The intensity of love will take care of you.

A man asks for a recommendation for pain in the body. Rupert suggests that though he is already enquiring into his true nature, he can try yoga meditations, which are the exploration of the body and world. The recommendation is to cultivate friendship with like-minded people.

A man, who has four adult children who experience mild to moderate anxiety, would like to share this understanding with his children to help them with their anxiety. Rupert replies that it's difficult because he doesn't know the children, but the skill required is to tailor the understanding to each child's needs and level of understanding. You have to go to them, where they are. It may be simply love and care.

A woman relays her experience of confusion when she asks herself, ‘What is aware of my experience?’ Rupert suggests that is a legitimate and understandable response. The mind can’t land on anything. It starts searching around everywhere and the confusion is the sign that the mind is beginning to understand that the answer doesn’t lie in the known. It is uncomfortable for the mind, but not for the self. The mind cannot find its own source; it can only dissolve in it.

A woman asks how to easily connect to the essence of God. Rupert responds that the quickest, most direct way is to sound the name 'I' and allow yourself to be drawn into that to which the words refer. 'I am' is the portal to being, God's being.

A man asks if Rupert had a revelation when changing paths. Rupert says he never changed paths – he has always been on the path to God’s being, long before he even heard of Ramana Maharshi. He says the only revelation he has had is the revelation of his nature of my being.

A man, who had a realisation about eighteen months ago, asks how much to engage with the world. Rupert replies he doesn't recommend ignoring the world, unless called to a solitary, monastic life. Take this understanding out into the world, live it in activities and relationships in service to love and understanding. Treat everyone as that one being.

A woman, who says she is addicted to her own yearning, asks what to do about it. Rupert says this is hard for one on the path of devotion. Yearning must be initiated from a separate self. If the yearning is in place, the separate self is in place. At some point, the separate self must turn away from its beloved and investigate itself and is then revealed as the very being for which we long.

A man says he has felt himself as a separate self for fifty years, and it’s hard not to. Rupert suggests that he lets go of his separate self every night when he falls asleep. We let go of the world, body, and then our thoughts and images and rest in our true nature. It is the same process, whilst remaining awake. The belief that it is hard to drop the separate self is just a thought.

A woman says she's had a sense of presence for being and realised that there is a subtle objectification of that. Rupert suggests the 'I' that had a sense of presence and the awareness are not two things but the same. Neither is an object, because an object cannot know or be aware of anything. Whatever is aware is what we commonly call 'I'.

A man with a Christian background asks about the experience of silence of the heart. Rupert suggests that the silence of the heart is just the pure experience of being. It is a non-objective experience – transparent, silent being. It is that which shines in each of our minds as the knowledge ‘I am’.

What happens when we die? Where do we go? Rupert replies that it depends on what you mean by 'we'. If you mean the true, eternal collective 'I', the answer is nothing will happen, like nothing happens to the space when a building is torn down. The space stays the same. It is the same with being, which is what 'we' are.

A man asks about what the role of faith plays in experiencing God. Rupert suggests that if by faith you mean the complete giving up of your own will, so that God comes into the place of yourself as your self and you accept everything as the will of that, that is the direct path of surrender.

A woman relays her experience of struggling with her mind. Rupert suggests that alongside psychiatric medication she could explore therapy and pause her enquiry into non-duality, which is destabilising when the mind is out of balance.

A woman, who says that someone she loves expects her to relate in codependent ways to which she is now saying 'no', wonders if that is the right decision. Rupert replies that it's a fine line between not colluding with the ego and abandoning them when they are in need. You have to find a way of helping that doesn't collude with the ego.

A man asks for practical ways to uproot the fear of death. Rupert suggests that the only way is to recognise the nature of your being. Any other method would distract you from it, covering over the fear. As we return again and again to the nature of our being, the fear of death just naturally leaves us, like when a cold just leaves us and health is restored. Don’t pay attention to the fear of death; focus on your true being.

A woman, who had a profound experience at a retreat years ago, says pain and surgeries had brought her back and she asks if that realisation will eventually stabilise. Rupert suggests we first go inward to realise our being is unlimited, like the space in and outside our room. Infinite being is not ours; it is God's being, the same being from which everyone and everything derives its existence. The appearance of ten thousand things loses its capacity to veil this oneness. The reality of things outshines the appearances.

A man shares his experience of doubting himself during yoga meditations. Rupert suggests that he not look for evidence of his understanding in his formulations of the understanding – some can and some can’t formulate it. However, causeless peace on the inside is the hallmark of the understanding, as well as unconditional or impartial love on the outside.

A man says that when he engages in stillness or meditates, he goes into a dream state and is unable to maintain relaxed alertness. Rupert responds that in relaxing your attention from the world, you get stuck on images, like in the dream state. Go back through the images whilst remaining awake, perhaps by asking, ‘What is aware of these thoughts and images?’

A man asks about how to have the background of awareness always be present. Rupert suggests you can use mechanical devices to help you – notes on the mirror, etc – but these are exterior devices. The best way is to increase your love of truth. One good way of doing that is reading the testament of the sages and recognising your true nature. It is the combination of love and understanding.

A woman asks about feeling joy when resting in the silence of the heart, rather expansion and peace, but it always feels like 'I' am having this experience. Rupert responds that we cannot experience happiness, we can only be happy. We cannot be unhappiness; we can only be unhappy. You're looking for happiness as an experience. Stay with the peace which quietly overflows into a quiet joy.

A woman asks if we can apply the lack of fear of the individual to the fear some feel about the end of the human race. Rupert suggests that others may not have recognised the nature of their being and, therefore, fear the death of humanity. It is all traced back to the mistaken belief that we are a body and mind. If you want to help your community, the best thing you can do is just be this quiet beacon of peace.

A man, who practised self-enquiry in search of relief from depression and experienced bodily shaking and also heightened anxiety, asks how to find peace with pain that feels like childhood trauma. Rupert replies that it sounds like the unravelling of these traumas. The tensions are relaxing and they have strong energetic manifestations. Be loving with yourself in your practice. The intensity of love will take care of you.

A man asks for a recommendation for pain in the body. Rupert suggests that though he is already enquiring into his true nature, he can try yoga meditations, which are the exploration of the body and world. The recommendation is to cultivate friendship with like-minded people.

A man, who has four adult children who experience mild to moderate anxiety, would like to share this understanding with his children to help them with their anxiety. Rupert replies that it's difficult because he doesn't know the children, but the skill required is to tailor the understanding to each child's needs and level of understanding. You have to go to them, where they are. It may be simply love and care.

A woman relays her experience of confusion when she asks herself, ‘What is aware of my experience?’ Rupert suggests that is a legitimate and understandable response. The mind can’t land on anything. It starts searching around everywhere and the confusion is the sign that the mind is beginning to understand that the answer doesn’t lie in the known. It is uncomfortable for the mind, but not for the self. The mind cannot find its own source; it can only dissolve in it.

A woman asks how to easily connect to the essence of God. Rupert responds that the quickest, most direct way is to sound the name 'I' and allow yourself to be drawn into that to which the words refer. 'I am' is the portal to being, God's being.

A man asks if Rupert had a revelation when changing paths. Rupert says he never changed paths – he has always been on the path to God’s being, long before he even heard of Ramana Maharshi. He says the only revelation he has had is the revelation of his nature of my being.

A man, who had a realisation about eighteen months ago, asks how much to engage with the world. Rupert replies he doesn't recommend ignoring the world, unless called to a solitary, monastic life. Take this understanding out into the world, live it in activities and relationships in service to love and understanding. Treat everyone as that one being.

A woman, who says she is addicted to her own yearning, asks what to do about it. Rupert says this is hard for one on the path of devotion. Yearning must be initiated from a separate self. If the yearning is in place, the separate self is in place. At some point, the separate self must turn away from its beloved and investigate itself and is then revealed as the very being for which we long.