Feelings of Dread, Loneliness and Nausea from the media The Pull of Your Being
A woman says she has had a very hard time on this retreat. She has been plagued by a feeling of dread and loneliness and nausea the whole time. Rupert responds that her sadness is not a result of a lack of understanding but proof of understanding. These are old feelings returning to be faced.
- Duration: 5 minutes and 0 seconds
- Recorded on: Oct 29, 2023
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Mercy Center, CA – 22nd to 29th October
Rupert thanks his crew and support team.
A man, who translated I Am Always I into Chinese, describes his experience of the retreat. He says it may be his last retreat, and he had a vision of saying 'good-bye' to Rupert, to whom he expresses his gratitude. Rupert returns the gratitude and says there are really no 'good-byes'. We remain forever in each others' hearts.
A man describes how his life has transformed since the previous retreat he attended. At that prior retreat, he felt that he did not learn a single thing, and the same for this retreat. So he thanks Rupert for nothing. Rupert returns the gratitude.
A woman says she has had a very hard time on this retreat. She has been plagued by a feeling of dread and loneliness and nausea the whole time. Rupert responds that her sadness is not a result of a lack of understanding but proof of understanding. These are old feelings returning to be faced.
A man says he so appreciates what comes through Rupert, and describes a kind of mist of love and wisdom that's at the retreat, allowing him to feel relaxed. He asks how to leave the building. Rupert encourages the man to drop down from his mind into his heart. Sink down deeper than whatever your mind is struggling with. Live from there.
A woman expresses her gratitude for all she experienced at the retreat. She had come from a cult and had lost her path, and she is grateful for the lack of hierarchy in this beautiful community. For the first time, she is not seeking anything and realising how shockingly simple and obvious is the truth of this teaching. Rupert says he's heard stories of leaving cults so many times, and how there had been a hesitancy to come to a retreat like this. He calls it courageous to both leave a cult and and to trust to a teaching again. The only thing that holds this community together is a love of truth.
A woman asks, when Rupert says the nature of being is happiness, is there nothing outside of being? Rupert says it would be a mistake to disregard anything outside of happiness. Everything that appears is being. Nothing is disregarded and rejected. Happiness and joy are being unfiltered through the separate self. He uses the example of clouds and blue sky. Happiness is a parting of the clouds. Everything is being, clouds, blue sky, sadness and happiness.
A woman asks about going back to life and possibile difficulties after the retreat. Rupert says that while she may tell herself it's just emotion arising in what happens in the world, that's actually like saying, there's only the landscape in the movie and not seeing the screen. You can't turn off the movie, but if you go deeply into the landscape, you find the screen – even in anger and discomfort – and ultimately you find peace, being, awareness.
A woman describes an experience she had of floating in peace, which she realised was who she was, that the shining of being is what we all are. Rupert agrees and suggests it as perhaps his next book, The Shining of Being.
A woman describes her gratitude for experiencing the retreat. Rupert asks her to invoke her inner Englishman and succinctly express her gratitude. She says she's always be told to dial it down, and that she couldn't be herself, so she came to this retreat to meet people like herself. She wants to hug everyone.
A woman asks if she doesn't have to courage to ask for an autograph, is that ego? Rupert elaborates that it's just a natural kind of shyness. Because being is silent, being sometimes reflects in our character as shyness.
Rupert shows a completely marked-up book that belongs to one of the participants as an example of how his books should look after someone reads them.
A woman expresses her gratitude for the pauses, the silence interspersed between the words.
A woman asks whether 'I am', resting in being, and being aware of being aware are the same? Rupert responds, yes, they're all the same. He's using the phrase 'awareness of being', or 'practicing the presence of God', more than 'being aware of being aware' these days. They're all the same. Even these are subtle presumptions of the separate self, they are the very top of the mountain after which there is no more teaching.
A woman appreciates another participant's description of the essence of separation, the loneliness. Whilst resting in awareness, she discovers that the 'I am' is completely loving, regardless of the suffering caused by the separation. Rupert agrees and quotes William Blake, "Eternity is in love with the productions of time." It is there shining in the midst of all experience.
A man says he feels as if there is an obstruction living in the mind. There is always analysing, and he asks how to make the shift to living more from the heart. Rupert recommends, "From time to time, close your eyes and do some self-enquiry using 'I am' or the question 'Who is it that is aware?'" See that these questions take you out of the mind. The mind will tell you not to go there, but your confidence in living from the heart will grow. You will taste its qualities of peace and you will be drawn into it. This is the pull of your being."
A woman asks if a teaching centre is still in the works. Rupert replies that he had been thinking about it for several years, perhaps with a location in England. But he has since decided against it because not only would it serve fewer people than he would like, but the deeper reason is that he doesn't want to be, or to manage, an institution, anything that consolidates the teaching. Also, he would like to lead a quiet, contemplative life.
Rupert thanks his crew and support team.
A man, who translated I Am Always I into Chinese, describes his experience of the retreat. He says it may be his last retreat, and he had a vision of saying 'good-bye' to Rupert, to whom he expresses his gratitude. Rupert returns the gratitude and says there are really no 'good-byes'. We remain forever in each others' hearts.
A man describes how his life has transformed since the previous retreat he attended. At that prior retreat, he felt that he did not learn a single thing, and the same for this retreat. So he thanks Rupert for nothing. Rupert returns the gratitude.
A woman says she has had a very hard time on this retreat. She has been plagued by a feeling of dread and loneliness and nausea the whole time. Rupert responds that her sadness is not a result of a lack of understanding but proof of understanding. These are old feelings returning to be faced.
A man says he so appreciates what comes through Rupert, and describes a kind of mist of love and wisdom that's at the retreat, allowing him to feel relaxed. He asks how to leave the building. Rupert encourages the man to drop down from his mind into his heart. Sink down deeper than whatever your mind is struggling with. Live from there.
A woman expresses her gratitude for all she experienced at the retreat. She had come from a cult and had lost her path, and she is grateful for the lack of hierarchy in this beautiful community. For the first time, she is not seeking anything and realising how shockingly simple and obvious is the truth of this teaching. Rupert says he's heard stories of leaving cults so many times, and how there had been a hesitancy to come to a retreat like this. He calls it courageous to both leave a cult and and to trust to a teaching again. The only thing that holds this community together is a love of truth.
A woman asks, when Rupert says the nature of being is happiness, is there nothing outside of being? Rupert says it would be a mistake to disregard anything outside of happiness. Everything that appears is being. Nothing is disregarded and rejected. Happiness and joy are being unfiltered through the separate self. He uses the example of clouds and blue sky. Happiness is a parting of the clouds. Everything is being, clouds, blue sky, sadness and happiness.
A woman asks about going back to life and possibile difficulties after the retreat. Rupert says that while she may tell herself it's just emotion arising in what happens in the world, that's actually like saying, there's only the landscape in the movie and not seeing the screen. You can't turn off the movie, but if you go deeply into the landscape, you find the screen – even in anger and discomfort – and ultimately you find peace, being, awareness.
A woman describes an experience she had of floating in peace, which she realised was who she was, that the shining of being is what we all are. Rupert agrees and suggests it as perhaps his next book, The Shining of Being.
A woman describes her gratitude for experiencing the retreat. Rupert asks her to invoke her inner Englishman and succinctly express her gratitude. She says she's always be told to dial it down, and that she couldn't be herself, so she came to this retreat to meet people like herself. She wants to hug everyone.
A woman asks if she doesn't have to courage to ask for an autograph, is that ego? Rupert elaborates that it's just a natural kind of shyness. Because being is silent, being sometimes reflects in our character as shyness.
Rupert shows a completely marked-up book that belongs to one of the participants as an example of how his books should look after someone reads them.
A woman expresses her gratitude for the pauses, the silence interspersed between the words.
A woman asks whether 'I am', resting in being, and being aware of being aware are the same? Rupert responds, yes, they're all the same. He's using the phrase 'awareness of being', or 'practicing the presence of God', more than 'being aware of being aware' these days. They're all the same. Even these are subtle presumptions of the separate self, they are the very top of the mountain after which there is no more teaching.
A woman appreciates another participant's description of the essence of separation, the loneliness. Whilst resting in awareness, she discovers that the 'I am' is completely loving, regardless of the suffering caused by the separation. Rupert agrees and quotes William Blake, "Eternity is in love with the productions of time." It is there shining in the midst of all experience.
A man says he feels as if there is an obstruction living in the mind. There is always analysing, and he asks how to make the shift to living more from the heart. Rupert recommends, "From time to time, close your eyes and do some self-enquiry using 'I am' or the question 'Who is it that is aware?'" See that these questions take you out of the mind. The mind will tell you not to go there, but your confidence in living from the heart will grow. You will taste its qualities of peace and you will be drawn into it. This is the pull of your being."
A woman asks if a teaching centre is still in the works. Rupert replies that he had been thinking about it for several years, perhaps with a location in England. But he has since decided against it because not only would it serve fewer people than he would like, but the deeper reason is that he doesn't want to be, or to manage, an institution, anything that consolidates the teaching. Also, he would like to lead a quiet, contemplative life.