Come Back to Yourself in All Experience

A woman asks about the Holy Trinity. Rupert answers that the Father is Infinite Being, Paramatman, the Son is the self, or Atman, and the Holy Spirit is that which connects the two, the passageway from one to the other.

A man asks about deconditioning, the definition of abiding knowingly as awareness, and wonders how this works. Rupert asks, 'Are you now aware of being, and can you rest in being?' That is self-abidance. It is only an assumption that divides the inward and outward. To abide knowingly as awareness means to never let our experience obscure the one, which is also known as praying without ceasing.

A man asks if deconditioning endless. Rupert responds that it is endless and mentions Ramana Maharshi, who, he assumes, still had occasional conditioned response. He gives an example of how a trauma might come up from time to time, but it arises and disappears.

A man asks about the qualities of happiness and whether it's possible to not get entangled at all in the content of experience. Rupert suggests that it's possible, but give yourself permission to get entangled occasionally. The goal is not to be a perfect body-mind, but to remain as being. You might feel a sense of lack and have a judgment; it's just an old habit that doesn't correspond to anything.

A woman asks if tracing back sensations or thoughts always brings one back to oneself. Rupert responds that whatever we experience, if we explore it, we always come back to ourself.

A woman shares that she struggles to listen to Rupert during the meditations. Rupert responds that he doesn't blame her. He further elaborates that the words are an evocation of the recognition of infinite being, and everything else points back to that. It all leads to 'just be.'

A man describes how some of his experiences are changing and asks what it is to abide as being. Rupert says it's not an extraordinary experience; it's just your natural state, nothing special, the feeling of being here in enjoyment.

A woman asks how King Lear can go through the portal to recognise his being as John Smith. Rupert responds that King Lear can allow himself to be taken back by the 'I am'. All his seeming suffering distracts him from this 'I am'. If he goes to that experience, he passes out of King Lear to John Smith. All there really is to King Lear is John Smith's mind.

A woman says when she rests in being, there's no body, but there is still some subjective awareness. Rupert responds that the awareness of being is the only experience, if we can call it that, that is not refracted into a subject–object experience. All the rest of experience is dualistic, subject–object. You cannot know that; you can only be that.

A woman, who is new to the teaching, asks how God communicates, and shares an experience related to her name, 'Stella'. Rupert asks her what is her real name? She responds, 'I am'. That is what each of us call ourselves; our personal name is how others refer to us. Everyone goes to the same experience of being.

A woman asks Rupert if he listens to an inner voice. Rupert responds that he does and describes his morning habit of getting silent and listening. He also does this when he interacts with others. He pauses, listens and responds.

A man says he is struggling with the meditations. Rupert quotes a Wordsworth's poem about shining with being. The being that is always shining. Rupert also recites a poem by W.B. Yeats.

A question is asked about a basic wound, the feeling of separation. Rupert calls it the stain that's left in the cloth despite scrubbing. This is a metaphor for conditioning. At the retreat, it is as if we are soaking in soapy water, but that last stain can't be fully scrubbed out.

A woman asks about the ripple metaphor, and whether that restoration is permanent. Rupert responds that he doesn't know.

A woman describes a sense of falling out of shared being with her parents and her husband, which raises concerns regarding her three-year-old daughter. Rupert responds that this retreat gives her a chance to take some distance and reset the relationship. Don't think about your family members, which provokes resistance, but see through their behaviour. Their 'I' is the same as yours and your husband's and child's.

A man references the soaking and scrubbing metaphor, indicating how he becomes completely involved in the content of experience, including violent and addictive behaviours. Rupert asks what is the effect of this retreat environment on the compulsive behaviours, to which he responds it has attenuated.

A question is asked about dealing with compulsive behaviours. Rupert suggests asking, what unbearable emotion are you avoiding? Taking a substance is a distraction from your unbearable feelings. Turn towards rather than away from those feelings; invite them close.

Rupert asks for feedback on the pace of the teaching at the retreat.

A woman describes sinking into being, outside of subject–object perception, but she is unclear about the perception that is still there. Rupert responds by using the screen/image/movie metaphor, in that the intensity of the image can fade so that the screen seems to emerge. You're always only seeing the screen coloured by the landscape of the image. Sinking into being is a way of allowing the image or the world to fade so that perception becomes more transparent.

A woman asks about the eventual dissipation of the human experience, that there may never be the knowing of the white paper (referencing Rupert's metaphor about Turner's painting of the moon and the white paper). Rupert responds that when you're knowing the moon, you are the white paper. It's not that one day you'll know yourself as the paper; you are always the paper.

A woman wonders if it is possible to be certain that being is enough to be happy. Rupert asks if there is certainty of being right now and, if so, then go to that experience and describe its qualities to determine if happiness is there. It's not enough to know that 'I am'; You have to taste the nature of being.

A woman describes a realistic dream she had that emphasised her doubt about being and happiness. Rupert responds that awareness or being is the one thing that cannot be an illusion; otherwise, there would be no experience.

A woman asks about the Holy Trinity. Rupert answers that the Father is Infinite Being, Paramatman, the Son is the self, or Atman, and the Holy Spirit is that which connects the two, the passageway from one to the other.

A man asks about deconditioning, the definition of abiding knowingly as awareness, and wonders how this works. Rupert asks, 'Are you now aware of being, and can you rest in being?' That is self-abidance. It is only an assumption that divides the inward and outward. To abide knowingly as awareness means to never let our experience obscure the one, which is also known as praying without ceasing.

A man asks if deconditioning endless. Rupert responds that it is endless and mentions Ramana Maharshi, who, he assumes, still had occasional conditioned response. He gives an example of how a trauma might come up from time to time, but it arises and disappears.

A man asks about the qualities of happiness and whether it's possible to not get entangled at all in the content of experience. Rupert suggests that it's possible, but give yourself permission to get entangled occasionally. The goal is not to be a perfect body-mind, but to remain as being. You might feel a sense of lack and have a judgment; it's just an old habit that doesn't correspond to anything.

A woman asks if tracing back sensations or thoughts always brings one back to oneself. Rupert responds that whatever we experience, if we explore it, we always come back to ourself.

A woman shares that she struggles to listen to Rupert during the meditations. Rupert responds that he doesn't blame her. He further elaborates that the words are an evocation of the recognition of infinite being, and everything else points back to that. It all leads to 'just be.'

A man describes how some of his experiences are changing and asks what it is to abide as being. Rupert says it's not an extraordinary experience; it's just your natural state, nothing special, the feeling of being here in enjoyment.

A woman asks how King Lear can go through the portal to recognise his being as John Smith. Rupert responds that King Lear can allow himself to be taken back by the 'I am'. All his seeming suffering distracts him from this 'I am'. If he goes to that experience, he passes out of King Lear to John Smith. All there really is to King Lear is John Smith's mind.

A woman says when she rests in being, there's no body, but there is still some subjective awareness. Rupert responds that the awareness of being is the only experience, if we can call it that, that is not refracted into a subject–object experience. All the rest of experience is dualistic, subject–object. You cannot know that; you can only be that.

A woman, who is new to the teaching, asks how God communicates, and shares an experience related to her name, 'Stella'. Rupert asks her what is her real name? She responds, 'I am'. That is what each of us call ourselves; our personal name is how others refer to us. Everyone goes to the same experience of being.

A woman asks Rupert if he listens to an inner voice. Rupert responds that he does and describes his morning habit of getting silent and listening. He also does this when he interacts with others. He pauses, listens and responds.

A man says he is struggling with the meditations. Rupert quotes a Wordsworth's poem about shining with being. The being that is always shining. Rupert also recites a poem by W.B. Yeats.

A question is asked about a basic wound, the feeling of separation. Rupert calls it the stain that's left in the cloth despite scrubbing. This is a metaphor for conditioning. At the retreat, it is as if we are soaking in soapy water, but that last stain can't be fully scrubbed out.

A woman asks about the ripple metaphor, and whether that restoration is permanent. Rupert responds that he doesn't know.

A woman describes a sense of falling out of shared being with her parents and her husband, which raises concerns regarding her three-year-old daughter. Rupert responds that this retreat gives her a chance to take some distance and reset the relationship. Don't think about your family members, which provokes resistance, but see through their behaviour. Their 'I' is the same as yours and your husband's and child's.

A man references the soaking and scrubbing metaphor, indicating how he becomes completely involved in the content of experience, including violent and addictive behaviours. Rupert asks what is the effect of this retreat environment on the compulsive behaviours, to which he responds it has attenuated.

A question is asked about dealing with compulsive behaviours. Rupert suggests asking, what unbearable emotion are you avoiding? Taking a substance is a distraction from your unbearable feelings. Turn towards rather than away from those feelings; invite them close.

Rupert asks for feedback on the pace of the teaching at the retreat.

A woman describes sinking into being, outside of subject–object perception, but she is unclear about the perception that is still there. Rupert responds by using the screen/image/movie metaphor, in that the intensity of the image can fade so that the screen seems to emerge. You're always only seeing the screen coloured by the landscape of the image. Sinking into being is a way of allowing the image or the world to fade so that perception becomes more transparent.

A woman asks about the eventual dissipation of the human experience, that there may never be the knowing of the white paper (referencing Rupert's metaphor about Turner's painting of the moon and the white paper). Rupert responds that when you're knowing the moon, you are the white paper. It's not that one day you'll know yourself as the paper; you are always the paper.

A woman wonders if it is possible to be certain that being is enough to be happy. Rupert asks if there is certainty of being right now and, if so, then go to that experience and describe its qualities to determine if happiness is there. It's not enough to know that 'I am'; You have to taste the nature of being.

A woman describes a realistic dream she had that emphasised her doubt about being and happiness. Rupert responds that awareness or being is the one thing that cannot be an illusion; otherwise, there would be no experience.