The Peace at the Heart of Emotion

A man shares that after a previous conversation with Rupert, he felt the separate self return intensely, leading to a sense of collapse and despair. He found temporary relief in snacks and cigarettes but later realised the impossibility of reaching perfection, which brought a sense of freedom. He mentions there was no transfiguration, but more freedom. He recites a Shakespeare sonnet, and Rupert thanks him for sharing his experience.

A woman shares that Rupert’s statement that the only attribute of awareness is ‘I am’, has kept her awake at night. She wonders how love, joy and happiness fit into this. Rupert replies that ‘I am’ is not an attribute but awareness’s direct knowing of its own being – the simplest and most fundamental recognition of itself. In the pure experience of being – before any thoughts or emotions are added – there is no agitation, sorrow or suffering, only peace. The absence of sorrow is what we call ‘happiness’, and the absence of division or otherness is what we call ‘love’. For that reason, peace, love and happiness are the nature of pure being.

A woman asks about Meister Eckhart praying to God to rid him of God. Rupert explains that for a separate self, the highest state is complete surrender to God. Yet, from the understanding of oneness, even the idea of God must dissolve. He elaborates that belief in God subtly reinforces the idea of a separate self, and for there to be only the One, both the sense of a separate self and its counterpart – the idea of God – must dissolve together.

A man asks how non-dual principles might shape issues like the economy and politics. Rupert replies that the only idea needed is the idea of unity. Our current society functions on a paradigm of separation, but to build a new world, one must begin with the paradigm of unity. Every policy, every action, should be consistent with and an expression of this understanding – that there is only one, and everyone and everything is that.

A woman says she experiences a tickle in her throat that leads to coughing, disrupting the group meditation. She keeps hot tea and lozenges ready but sometimes has to leave the room. She wonders if this is resistance and wants to explore it. Rupert suggests sitting by the exit, starting with tea, then lozenges, and leaving if needed – without worrying whether it’s resistance. He advises her to simply go back to being, take her tea and lozenges, and forget it.

A woman asks about time, destiny and an analogy Rupert once shared about a book that’s already written, where all the words are visible through the pages. Rupert says that life seems to unfold in time, like reading a novel from beginning to end, but actually, all events are simultaneously present – like a novel condensed into a single point. Time and space are created by the mind. Without the mind, everything collapses into a dimensionless point that we cannot even think about.

A woman expresses concern about the absence of feminine voices in Rupert’s references, noting that she couldn’t find quotes from women or female teachers in his biography. She asks if this exclusion impacts his teaching or understanding. Rupert acknowledges his mother and his companion as his primary teachers and says he doesn’t see any absence of the feminine in his influences. He also says that he never considers gender when choosing quotes. It’s only about whether something is true, regardless of whether it was spoken by a man, a woman, an enlightened being, or even a criminal.

A woman shares that her uncle, who was a close friend, died suddenly. When she saw his body, it seemed that his consciousness was gone and he was just an empty shell. Rupert asks her if consciousness is in the body or if the body appears in consciousness. He relates an analogy about a building being taken down, leaving only rubble, but the luminous space in which it had existed remains untouched. Her uncle’s true being, like that space, is still present. She hasn’t lost him; he’s come closer to her now.

A man asks Rupert to explain more about collective mind, referring to concept of the collective unconscious. Rupert replies that beneath our separate minds is a region of mind shared by and accessible to all individual minds. He likens it to ripples in the ocean that have not yet formed into distinct waves, and when a wave dies, its energies disperse into the broader ocean. The wave disappears, but its energies continue as part of the collective, influencing new waves.

A woman who has uncovered incomplete memories of childhood trauma now realises that she is not defined by her stories or past events. She asks if she should investigate and heal this trauma or let it go and continue on her path. Rupert asks if the trauma is adversely affecting her life. When she confirms it is not, he replies that there’s no need to revisit it, affirming she is free and her being is untarnished. He encourages her to continue moving forward with this understanding and to express it in her life.

A man shares that when he heard Rupert say he wanted to do away with the spiritual aspects of teaching, he felt attacked, and then realised his attachment to being a spiritual person. He asks Rupert what the path looks like beyond spirituality. Rupert responds with love, saying it is simply exploring ordinary experience without spiritual packaging. There’s nothing spiritual about it – just our ordinary being, not some special state. It’s the experience of being, shared by all beings, animals included, divested of spiritual paraphernalia.

A woman says that she has no question but feels gratefulness and surrender. She wonders if this means she is too much in a personal state. Rupert assures her that gratefulness and surrender are beautiful, the highest state for the individual. To go further, she must see that the one who is grateful or surrendered is not really there. Like space realising, I am the universal space. This is the highest form of surrender.

A man asks if his understanding is correct: self-aware consciousness vibrates within itself, forming a finite mind that knows itself through the filter of thinking and perceiving a body and world. He resonates with this model and asks if there is knowing without a known. Rupert guides him back to the experience of being aware, explaining that in deep sleep there is no known, just awareness aware of itself – pure knowing without an object, the awareness of awareness, where knowing and being are one and the same.

A woman, concerned about her son’s gaming habits and her role as a mother, asks Rupert how to make non-dual teachings relevant to parenting. Rupert replies that the greatest gift she can offer is to communicate the understanding that peace is the nature of her son’s being, but not through verbal teaching. Instead, he suggests embodying this understanding through experience, seeing her son as the beautiful, innocent being he truly is, which is what the experience of love really is.

A woman, reflecting on Rupert’s teaching that true happiness is when there’s no separation between awareness and emotion, asks how to navigate separating from emotions versus merging with them. Rupert explains the Vedantic approach – standing apart as the witness, observing emotions without identification – and the Tantric approach – merging completely until there’s no resistance. He encourages her to experiment with both, as merging can reveal the peace and happiness at the heart of any emotion.

A man shares that after a previous conversation with Rupert, he felt the separate self return intensely, leading to a sense of collapse and despair. He found temporary relief in snacks and cigarettes but later realised the impossibility of reaching perfection, which brought a sense of freedom. He mentions there was no transfiguration, but more freedom. He recites a Shakespeare sonnet, and Rupert thanks him for sharing his experience.

A woman shares that Rupert’s statement that the only attribute of awareness is ‘I am’, has kept her awake at night. She wonders how love, joy and happiness fit into this. Rupert replies that ‘I am’ is not an attribute but awareness’s direct knowing of its own being – the simplest and most fundamental recognition of itself. In the pure experience of being – before any thoughts or emotions are added – there is no agitation, sorrow or suffering, only peace. The absence of sorrow is what we call ‘happiness’, and the absence of division or otherness is what we call ‘love’. For that reason, peace, love and happiness are the nature of pure being.

A woman asks about Meister Eckhart praying to God to rid him of God. Rupert explains that for a separate self, the highest state is complete surrender to God. Yet, from the understanding of oneness, even the idea of God must dissolve. He elaborates that belief in God subtly reinforces the idea of a separate self, and for there to be only the One, both the sense of a separate self and its counterpart – the idea of God – must dissolve together.

A man asks how non-dual principles might shape issues like the economy and politics. Rupert replies that the only idea needed is the idea of unity. Our current society functions on a paradigm of separation, but to build a new world, one must begin with the paradigm of unity. Every policy, every action, should be consistent with and an expression of this understanding – that there is only one, and everyone and everything is that.

A woman says she experiences a tickle in her throat that leads to coughing, disrupting the group meditation. She keeps hot tea and lozenges ready but sometimes has to leave the room. She wonders if this is resistance and wants to explore it. Rupert suggests sitting by the exit, starting with tea, then lozenges, and leaving if needed – without worrying whether it’s resistance. He advises her to simply go back to being, take her tea and lozenges, and forget it.

A woman asks about time, destiny and an analogy Rupert once shared about a book that’s already written, where all the words are visible through the pages. Rupert says that life seems to unfold in time, like reading a novel from beginning to end, but actually, all events are simultaneously present – like a novel condensed into a single point. Time and space are created by the mind. Without the mind, everything collapses into a dimensionless point that we cannot even think about.

A woman expresses concern about the absence of feminine voices in Rupert’s references, noting that she couldn’t find quotes from women or female teachers in his biography. She asks if this exclusion impacts his teaching or understanding. Rupert acknowledges his mother and his companion as his primary teachers and says he doesn’t see any absence of the feminine in his influences. He also says that he never considers gender when choosing quotes. It’s only about whether something is true, regardless of whether it was spoken by a man, a woman, an enlightened being, or even a criminal.

A woman shares that her uncle, who was a close friend, died suddenly. When she saw his body, it seemed that his consciousness was gone and he was just an empty shell. Rupert asks her if consciousness is in the body or if the body appears in consciousness. He relates an analogy about a building being taken down, leaving only rubble, but the luminous space in which it had existed remains untouched. Her uncle’s true being, like that space, is still present. She hasn’t lost him; he’s come closer to her now.

A man asks Rupert to explain more about collective mind, referring to concept of the collective unconscious. Rupert replies that beneath our separate minds is a region of mind shared by and accessible to all individual minds. He likens it to ripples in the ocean that have not yet formed into distinct waves, and when a wave dies, its energies disperse into the broader ocean. The wave disappears, but its energies continue as part of the collective, influencing new waves.

A woman who has uncovered incomplete memories of childhood trauma now realises that she is not defined by her stories or past events. She asks if she should investigate and heal this trauma or let it go and continue on her path. Rupert asks if the trauma is adversely affecting her life. When she confirms it is not, he replies that there’s no need to revisit it, affirming she is free and her being is untarnished. He encourages her to continue moving forward with this understanding and to express it in her life.

A man shares that when he heard Rupert say he wanted to do away with the spiritual aspects of teaching, he felt attacked, and then realised his attachment to being a spiritual person. He asks Rupert what the path looks like beyond spirituality. Rupert responds with love, saying it is simply exploring ordinary experience without spiritual packaging. There’s nothing spiritual about it – just our ordinary being, not some special state. It’s the experience of being, shared by all beings, animals included, divested of spiritual paraphernalia.

A woman says that she has no question but feels gratefulness and surrender. She wonders if this means she is too much in a personal state. Rupert assures her that gratefulness and surrender are beautiful, the highest state for the individual. To go further, she must see that the one who is grateful or surrendered is not really there. Like space realising, I am the universal space. This is the highest form of surrender.

A man asks if his understanding is correct: self-aware consciousness vibrates within itself, forming a finite mind that knows itself through the filter of thinking and perceiving a body and world. He resonates with this model and asks if there is knowing without a known. Rupert guides him back to the experience of being aware, explaining that in deep sleep there is no known, just awareness aware of itself – pure knowing without an object, the awareness of awareness, where knowing and being are one and the same.

A woman, concerned about her son’s gaming habits and her role as a mother, asks Rupert how to make non-dual teachings relevant to parenting. Rupert replies that the greatest gift she can offer is to communicate the understanding that peace is the nature of her son’s being, but not through verbal teaching. Instead, he suggests embodying this understanding through experience, seeing her son as the beautiful, innocent being he truly is, which is what the experience of love really is.

A woman, reflecting on Rupert’s teaching that true happiness is when there’s no separation between awareness and emotion, asks how to navigate separating from emotions versus merging with them. Rupert explains the Vedantic approach – standing apart as the witness, observing emotions without identification – and the Tantric approach – merging completely until there’s no resistance. He encourages her to experiment with both, as merging can reveal the peace and happiness at the heart of any emotion.