Stay with the ‘I Am’

The first true statement we can make about our self, our primary experience, is ‘I am’. Every other statement we make about ourself – I am this or that – comes after our primary knowledge of our self – I am aware that I am; I am aware of being. Everything added to ‘I am’ is a superfluous, temporary qualification. Nothing ever actually happens to the ‘I am’. It is coloured by the awareness of experience, but still shines like the full moon in the midnight sky, shining brightly in the darkness of the night. The essence of meditation, the highest prayer, the ultimate surrender, is to stay with the ‘I am’, to be only the ‘I am’, to not allow oneself to be qualified by the content of experience. The ‘I am’ is never endarkened by the content of experience, so requires no enlightening. It is already the light of the soul, the light of infinite being.

A man, who says he feels awareness as a pre-sense that looks inward rather than outward, asks if this is the next evolutionary step for our community. Rupert responds that this must be where our understanding leads us: there are not human beings, only being.

A man asks about what the purpose of life is. Rupert responds that there are two purposes – the internal and the external. Internally is the recognition of our true nature, which is the same for everyone. Outwardly, our purpose is to live the implications of this understanding, which is different for everyone.

A man asks about the purpose of the suffering he and others have been through. Rupert responds that it will become part of his outer purpose which will be informed by what he has been through.

A woman describes her fear of peace. She mentions listening to Bernardo Kastrup and his comments about the impersonal, and says she can't stay in peace because of the pervasive fear that she will become homeless. Rupert suggests that one is far more likely to end up homeless when living in fear. Recognition of her true nature will diminish the fear and her abilities will be enhanced. The only thing that will leave her are the fears and anxieties.

A man asks about a meditation that he struggled with. Rupert explains they become clearer the more we are exposed to them. Using the example of an aware glass of water, he imagines asking it what it would see and what its experience of itself would be, suggesting it wouldn't see anything because it have to stand apart from what itself are to see itself, like the eye that sees everything but never itself. God's knowledge of itself is nothing; our knowledge of God is everything. The infinite can only know the infinite. All the questions come from the mind that wants to hone in on awareness.

A man, who is prone to overthinking, wonders if he's doing self-enquiry right or further perpetuating neurosis. Rupert suggests he ask, ‘To whom do these doubts appear? What is this 'I' to whom all these experiences appear?’ It is our simple, primary experience prior to any other experience.

A woman asks about Rupert's journey from illusion to reality, and for an explanation about the idea there is no inner and outer world. Rupert responds that the inner world of thoughts and feelings is only being, and the outer world of objects is only being. So there is no inner and outer world, it is all only being. Understand yourself to be that unconditioned being, which also explains her first question. Recognition doesn't take place in time.

A man, who is part of an awareness group that remains honestly present to whatever is arising, feels challenged by being authentic with feelings that bounce against each other in the group. Rupert asks what prevents him from remaining himself in the face of others' feelings. The man says he identifies more with the fear in 'I am afraid'. Rupert suggests identifying more with the 'I am' than the fear.

A man, who is a leader of an awareness group, asks how to reflect back what he perceives in others as judgmental. Rupert asks about what the primary experience of others is. It is 'they are', the only thing that is true about others. Don't let the judgements or labels obscure the 'they are' that they are.

A man, who used to be a rational materialist, but is more and more navigating by intuition, says he struggles with which framework to rely upon as he investigates outside the material model, like in astrology. Rupert suggests he doesn’t have to give up reason. Materialism is actually an unreasonable assumption. He can maintain a balance between intuition, reason and love.

A woman, who has struggled for years with an attachment to foreign identity, asks how to heal herself from this experience. Rupert responds that if she has had the experience of her true nature, there is freedom from all energetic entities, including identity. That freedom is present now as her very own being, which is the background and foreground of her experience. There's only being, God's being. Rest in that.

A woman, who still loses the awareness of being after years of practice, asks for help in not getting lost in experience. Rupert suggests she cease thinking of awareness in the foreground, and take the next step of seeing that it pervades all experience, so there's no conflict between being aware of awareness whilst in the world.

The first true statement we can make about our self, our primary experience, is ‘I am’. Every other statement we make about ourself – I am this or that – comes after our primary knowledge of our self – I am aware that I am; I am aware of being. Everything added to ‘I am’ is a superfluous, temporary qualification. Nothing ever actually happens to the ‘I am’. It is coloured by the awareness of experience, but still shines like the full moon in the midnight sky, shining brightly in the darkness of the night. The essence of meditation, the highest prayer, the ultimate surrender, is to stay with the ‘I am’, to be only the ‘I am’, to not allow oneself to be qualified by the content of experience. The ‘I am’ is never endarkened by the content of experience, so requires no enlightening. It is already the light of the soul, the light of infinite being.

A man, who says he feels awareness as a pre-sense that looks inward rather than outward, asks if this is the next evolutionary step for our community. Rupert responds that this must be where our understanding leads us: there are not human beings, only being.

A man asks about what the purpose of life is. Rupert responds that there are two purposes – the internal and the external. Internally is the recognition of our true nature, which is the same for everyone. Outwardly, our purpose is to live the implications of this understanding, which is different for everyone.

A man asks about the purpose of the suffering he and others have been through. Rupert responds that it will become part of his outer purpose which will be informed by what he has been through.

A woman describes her fear of peace. She mentions listening to Bernardo Kastrup and his comments about the impersonal, and says she can't stay in peace because of the pervasive fear that she will become homeless. Rupert suggests that one is far more likely to end up homeless when living in fear. Recognition of her true nature will diminish the fear and her abilities will be enhanced. The only thing that will leave her are the fears and anxieties.

A man asks about a meditation that he struggled with. Rupert explains they become clearer the more we are exposed to them. Using the example of an aware glass of water, he imagines asking it what it would see and what its experience of itself would be, suggesting it wouldn't see anything because it have to stand apart from what itself are to see itself, like the eye that sees everything but never itself. God's knowledge of itself is nothing; our knowledge of God is everything. The infinite can only know the infinite. All the questions come from the mind that wants to hone in on awareness.

A man, who is prone to overthinking, wonders if he's doing self-enquiry right or further perpetuating neurosis. Rupert suggests he ask, ‘To whom do these doubts appear? What is this 'I' to whom all these experiences appear?’ It is our simple, primary experience prior to any other experience.

A woman asks about Rupert's journey from illusion to reality, and for an explanation about the idea there is no inner and outer world. Rupert responds that the inner world of thoughts and feelings is only being, and the outer world of objects is only being. So there is no inner and outer world, it is all only being. Understand yourself to be that unconditioned being, which also explains her first question. Recognition doesn't take place in time.

A man, who is part of an awareness group that remains honestly present to whatever is arising, feels challenged by being authentic with feelings that bounce against each other in the group. Rupert asks what prevents him from remaining himself in the face of others' feelings. The man says he identifies more with the fear in 'I am afraid'. Rupert suggests identifying more with the 'I am' than the fear.

A man, who is a leader of an awareness group, asks how to reflect back what he perceives in others as judgmental. Rupert asks about what the primary experience of others is. It is 'they are', the only thing that is true about others. Don't let the judgements or labels obscure the 'they are' that they are.

A man, who used to be a rational materialist, but is more and more navigating by intuition, says he struggles with which framework to rely upon as he investigates outside the material model, like in astrology. Rupert suggests he doesn’t have to give up reason. Materialism is actually an unreasonable assumption. He can maintain a balance between intuition, reason and love.

A woman, who has struggled for years with an attachment to foreign identity, asks how to heal herself from this experience. Rupert responds that if she has had the experience of her true nature, there is freedom from all energetic entities, including identity. That freedom is present now as her very own being, which is the background and foreground of her experience. There's only being, God's being. Rest in that.

A woman, who still loses the awareness of being after years of practice, asks for help in not getting lost in experience. Rupert suggests she cease thinking of awareness in the foreground, and take the next step of seeing that it pervades all experience, so there's no conflict between being aware of awareness whilst in the world.