Simply Being Yourself

A woman, attending Rupert’s retreat for the first time, asks about the practice of meditation. Rupert takes this opportunity to describe three types of meditation, describing mindfulness practice within the context of non-dual understanding. The three pathways are the progressive, the Direct and the Pathless.

A man asks how to be in the world without being pretentious and how to avoid getting stuck in an inflated spiritual ego. Rupert describes how this understanding humbled him, bringing him to his knees. Rather than seeing other people as poor suffering beings, he sees them as the same beautiful being that he is, feeling neither superiority nor inferiority towards others. He shares his understanding, such as it is, not to help others, but because he cannot help but share it.

A man expresses his desire for realisation. Rupert replies that realisation is simply being yourself. You cannot attain your self; you cannot seek your self. When you say ‘I seek awareness,’ ‘I’ is present, seeking.

A man, experiencing conflict in relationship and dissociation triggered by self-enquiry, asks for advice. Rupert says that when the person you are conversing with says something that provokes an emotional response in you, take a two-or three-second pause to return to your being. This breaks the cycle of reactivity and gives the relationship a chance to reset itself into harmony. Self-enquiry is not a denial of emotions but a stepping back from them into something deeper within yourself that’s prior to the emotion.

A woman asks about the progressive path and the Pathless Path. Rupert replies that most people follow a journey to his. He spent twenty years on the progressive path and fifteen years on the Direct Path, and he intends to spend the rest of his life on the Pathless Path. He suggests to the woman that she could go directly from the progressive path to the Pathless Path. All paths serve as preparation for the Pathless Path, to replace meditation with being.

A woman, who works as a trauma therapist, asks about her impulse to help others who suffer. Rupert encourages her to give herself freedom to go out into the world and help others as much as she wants. He explains that when he speaks of not doing anything, he is referring to recognising our true nature, not to inaction in the world.

A man asks about spiritual experiences. Rupert replies that there are no spiritual experiences, as that which knows itself is not an experience. If you are waiting for something marvellous, a spiritual experience, enlightenment or self-realisation, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. Even if you found it, it would eventually leave you.

A man asks how to abide as being for longer periods. Rupert says that if you find yourself lost in the content of experience, then make the gentle effort to extricate yourself from that experience and come back to your self. Each time you return to your self, you weaken the pull of objective experience and will find it increasingly easier to remain in being as being.

A woman experiencing overwhelming visions of beauty asks for advice. Rupert explains that as we sink more and more deeply into being, our being sheds the limitations it borrows from the content of experience. How that feels: we sense that we share our being with an object or nature; we call that experience beauty. The being that you are and the being that nature essentially is, are the same.

A woman who works as a writer asks about the effects on her work from releasing attachment to the story. Rupert replies that the only thing we lose in the course of this exploration is our sorrow. Life becomes more vivid; relationships deepen. You won’t lose anything as a storyteller; your capacity to observe people and your power of description will become more refined.

A man asks about self-doubt. Rupert replies that self-doubt could be the separate self intuiting that if it continues on that path, it will cease to exist. Alternatively, doubt could be a voice of reason, and in that case, we should follow it.

A woman asks if it’s normal that she can be herself while on her own but has difficulty being with groups of people. Rupert helps her see that while walking in nature, she is comfortable, so therefore when entering a social situation she should try imagining she is surrounded by beautiful talking trees.

A woman experiencing difficulty relating to her family asks how to confidently be her true self. Rupert acknowledges that it is difficult when with family because of our old patterns of behaviour and expectations. One very powerful exercise is to visualise individual family members who are difficult to relate to, allow whatever feelings to arise, and see through them until you perceive their being. Feel their being as your own; that’s love.

A woman enquires about working with trauma and forgiveness towards family members. Rupert explains that true forgiveness does not take place at the same level as the conflict. Instead, one must go through conflict to our shared being, which will gradually influence and resolve the conflict at the more superficial level. You don’t have to like them, but you have to love them.

A woman, attending Rupert’s retreat for the first time, asks about the practice of meditation. Rupert takes this opportunity to describe three types of meditation, describing mindfulness practice within the context of non-dual understanding. The three pathways are the progressive, the Direct and the Pathless.

A man asks how to be in the world without being pretentious and how to avoid getting stuck in an inflated spiritual ego. Rupert describes how this understanding humbled him, bringing him to his knees. Rather than seeing other people as poor suffering beings, he sees them as the same beautiful being that he is, feeling neither superiority nor inferiority towards others. He shares his understanding, such as it is, not to help others, but because he cannot help but share it.

A man expresses his desire for realisation. Rupert replies that realisation is simply being yourself. You cannot attain your self; you cannot seek your self. When you say ‘I seek awareness,’ ‘I’ is present, seeking.

A man, experiencing conflict in relationship and dissociation triggered by self-enquiry, asks for advice. Rupert says that when the person you are conversing with says something that provokes an emotional response in you, take a two-or three-second pause to return to your being. This breaks the cycle of reactivity and gives the relationship a chance to reset itself into harmony. Self-enquiry is not a denial of emotions but a stepping back from them into something deeper within yourself that’s prior to the emotion.

A woman asks about the progressive path and the Pathless Path. Rupert replies that most people follow a journey to his. He spent twenty years on the progressive path and fifteen years on the Direct Path, and he intends to spend the rest of his life on the Pathless Path. He suggests to the woman that she could go directly from the progressive path to the Pathless Path. All paths serve as preparation for the Pathless Path, to replace meditation with being.

A woman, who works as a trauma therapist, asks about her impulse to help others who suffer. Rupert encourages her to give herself freedom to go out into the world and help others as much as she wants. He explains that when he speaks of not doing anything, he is referring to recognising our true nature, not to inaction in the world.

A man asks about spiritual experiences. Rupert replies that there are no spiritual experiences, as that which knows itself is not an experience. If you are waiting for something marvellous, a spiritual experience, enlightenment or self-realisation, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. Even if you found it, it would eventually leave you.

A man asks how to abide as being for longer periods. Rupert says that if you find yourself lost in the content of experience, then make the gentle effort to extricate yourself from that experience and come back to your self. Each time you return to your self, you weaken the pull of objective experience and will find it increasingly easier to remain in being as being.

A woman experiencing overwhelming visions of beauty asks for advice. Rupert explains that as we sink more and more deeply into being, our being sheds the limitations it borrows from the content of experience. How that feels: we sense that we share our being with an object or nature; we call that experience beauty. The being that you are and the being that nature essentially is, are the same.

A woman who works as a writer asks about the effects on her work from releasing attachment to the story. Rupert replies that the only thing we lose in the course of this exploration is our sorrow. Life becomes more vivid; relationships deepen. You won’t lose anything as a storyteller; your capacity to observe people and your power of description will become more refined.

A man asks about self-doubt. Rupert replies that self-doubt could be the separate self intuiting that if it continues on that path, it will cease to exist. Alternatively, doubt could be a voice of reason, and in that case, we should follow it.

A woman asks if it’s normal that she can be herself while on her own but has difficulty being with groups of people. Rupert helps her see that while walking in nature, she is comfortable, so therefore when entering a social situation she should try imagining she is surrounded by beautiful talking trees.

A woman experiencing difficulty relating to her family asks how to confidently be her true self. Rupert acknowledges that it is difficult when with family because of our old patterns of behaviour and expectations. One very powerful exercise is to visualise individual family members who are difficult to relate to, allow whatever feelings to arise, and see through them until you perceive their being. Feel their being as your own; that’s love.

A woman enquires about working with trauma and forgiveness towards family members. Rupert explains that true forgiveness does not take place at the same level as the conflict. Instead, one must go through conflict to our shared being, which will gradually influence and resolve the conflict at the more superficial level. You don’t have to like them, but you have to love them.