Make Awareness of Being Your Primary Experience

In everyday life we are aware of thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions and so overlook the awareness of being. We cannot be completely unaware of being, but knowledge of ourself is so mixed up with the content of experience, we do not know our self clearly. Thus the peace and happiness that are the nature of being is veiled. Meditation is the reversal of this process. Instead of being exclusively aware of thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions, we become aware of simply being. Being emerges into the foreground of experience as the content of experience subsides into the background. Just make awareness of being your primary experience. Stay with the ‘I am’ – words that refer directly to the experience of being. This is the last step on the path of devotion – the devotee merges completely with the beloved. The temporary finite self we seemed to be loses its limitations and stands revealed as infinite being.

A woman explains her extraordinary experience in meditation of being in a tube, then silence, then seeing light, which disappeared. Rupert says that the reason the light disappeared was because she was expecting to experience it as an object of her experience. ‘I am the light that shines in all things’.

A woman remarks that she often feels sadness, even when happy. Rupert suggests that even in our happiest moments, when our happiness seems to be caused by the content of experience, there is always the knowledge that whatever we are experience is going to disappear. The happiness that we derive from the content of experience is always tinged with sadness.

A woman says it has been her aim to grow the love of God within a partnership. She asks about when one should decide to stop trying to grow within a partnership. Rupert suggests there is a point at which we have to be humble and realise that we've tried everything. We have to recognise that we're not able to live the love on the outside that we share on the inside.

A woman asks if the experiences she had in meditation are on a personal level. Rupert suggests these are personal experiences insofar as they appeared in her mind and not anybody else's mind. In other words, they were unique to her mind, but they were not personal, if by personal we mean egoic. These were expressions of the universal in her finite mind. These were images that were reflections of a universal truth.

A man says that as he experiences himself, he can't experience himself as anyone else until he dies and reincarnates. This makes him think that given the relativity of time, he could end up as any 'I am' for eternity. He feels stuck and asks how to get out. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry, leading him to the 'I am' to help him see the limitless qualities of his true nature.

A man asks how to navigate through uneasy feelings of heartbreak. Rupert suggests that there is a difference between feeling let down by someone and being heartbroken. The feeling of being let down, which involves blame and judgement, is an egoic feeling, but the feeling of being heartbroken is not. Heartbreak is when you feel that the vessel of the relationship, which felt sacred, cracks and breaks.

A woman from Kiev, who is running an online non-dual community in Ukraine, asks how to best help the people. Rupert suggests that even in intense situations there is that in the background which remains unharmed by the experience. It remains the same wherever and whenever we are, and it is important to let people know that there is a place in each of us that has never been hurt.

‘How do I get to universal consciousness?’, asks a man who talks about the reduction base which is this internal first-person core subjectivity. Rupert leads him in self-enquiry to experience awareness. He then suggests that his question is like standing up and then asking, ‘How do I get to my body?’ When you ask that question, you presume that you are something other than the awareness. Don't make that presumption.

A man asks about the tension he feels in his body. Rupert responds that unless they're functional tensions, like for sitting up, they are usually the physical component of the feeling of separation. He suggests understanding and feel that you are the open space in which these tensions arise and surrender the feelings to the space of awareness, like a cloud gradually evaporates into the emptiness of the sky.

A man asks how to get in touch with his love and enthusiasm for making a living and in relationships. Rupert responds that the best practice is to explore the belief in separation so that it is not a part of relationship, which manifests as the desire for the relationship to make one happy. The easiest way to know what to do for a living, or what your purpose is, is to find what you love for financial independence. That is the greatest indication of what to do in the world and the way you share your love and enthusiasm in life. Your work is the medium for sharing this understanding.

A woman wonders if she must face her fears or simply remain in unlimited space. Rupert suggests that you don't really have to make a choice between the two possibilities – either focussing on this buried content or remaining as the unlimited space. If you understand and feel that you are this open, empty aware space and stand as that in relationship to your experience, then there will be no impulse to avoid your feelings. As a result, they will begin to bubble up. Face it as this openness.

A woman who had been a part of a spiritual community was banished by her teacher when she shared that she works with the Ukraine/Russian community. Rupert suggests that while it’s difficult to experience this, he’s glad she is no longer a part of that community. It is limited, and you are ready to move beyond that. An impersonal intelligence was working through her teacher to liberate her from it.

A man describes an awakening experience that created a fear of death that persists and has created a sense of having no direction in life. He shares that he is considering doing what Rupert does. Rupert responds that he never once had a thought about doing what he's doing but assumed he'd spend the rest of his life as an artist. He recommends not thinking of this as a career. It is a calling that comes from deep within and has nothing to do with deciding to do this work.

A woman references the analogy of John Smith and King Lear and asks, ‘Isn’t it John Smith who is seeking his true nature?’ Rupert suggests there is no real person called King Lear. The only person in the character King Lear is John Smith. King Lear is an apparent limitation of John Smith, which believes and feels ‘I am King Lear’. As a concession to that belief and feeling, the teaching gives King Lear something to do to find his true nature: John Smith.

A man feels overwhelmed by the non-dual model proposed by Rupert and Bernardo Kastrup, in which he would think that he is everything and everyone in the world at the same time. Rupert suggests looking back over our lives at the numerous thoughts that appeared in sequence, thoughts separated in time. Time is the conceptual framework we use to accommodate the multiplicity of thoughts. Think of having these thoughts at the same time – which we, as a separate self, cannot do – and they spread out in space and time.

In everyday life we are aware of thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions and so overlook the awareness of being. We cannot be completely unaware of being, but knowledge of ourself is so mixed up with the content of experience, we do not know our self clearly. Thus the peace and happiness that are the nature of being is veiled. Meditation is the reversal of this process. Instead of being exclusively aware of thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions, we become aware of simply being. Being emerges into the foreground of experience as the content of experience subsides into the background. Just make awareness of being your primary experience. Stay with the ‘I am’ – words that refer directly to the experience of being. This is the last step on the path of devotion – the devotee merges completely with the beloved. The temporary finite self we seemed to be loses its limitations and stands revealed as infinite being.

A woman explains her extraordinary experience in meditation of being in a tube, then silence, then seeing light, which disappeared. Rupert says that the reason the light disappeared was because she was expecting to experience it as an object of her experience. ‘I am the light that shines in all things’.

A woman remarks that she often feels sadness, even when happy. Rupert suggests that even in our happiest moments, when our happiness seems to be caused by the content of experience, there is always the knowledge that whatever we are experience is going to disappear. The happiness that we derive from the content of experience is always tinged with sadness.

A woman says it has been her aim to grow the love of God within a partnership. She asks about when one should decide to stop trying to grow within a partnership. Rupert suggests there is a point at which we have to be humble and realise that we've tried everything. We have to recognise that we're not able to live the love on the outside that we share on the inside.

A woman asks if the experiences she had in meditation are on a personal level. Rupert suggests these are personal experiences insofar as they appeared in her mind and not anybody else's mind. In other words, they were unique to her mind, but they were not personal, if by personal we mean egoic. These were expressions of the universal in her finite mind. These were images that were reflections of a universal truth.

A man says that as he experiences himself, he can't experience himself as anyone else until he dies and reincarnates. This makes him think that given the relativity of time, he could end up as any 'I am' for eternity. He feels stuck and asks how to get out. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry, leading him to the 'I am' to help him see the limitless qualities of his true nature.

A man asks how to navigate through uneasy feelings of heartbreak. Rupert suggests that there is a difference between feeling let down by someone and being heartbroken. The feeling of being let down, which involves blame and judgement, is an egoic feeling, but the feeling of being heartbroken is not. Heartbreak is when you feel that the vessel of the relationship, which felt sacred, cracks and breaks.

A woman from Kiev, who is running an online non-dual community in Ukraine, asks how to best help the people. Rupert suggests that even in intense situations there is that in the background which remains unharmed by the experience. It remains the same wherever and whenever we are, and it is important to let people know that there is a place in each of us that has never been hurt.

‘How do I get to universal consciousness?’, asks a man who talks about the reduction base which is this internal first-person core subjectivity. Rupert leads him in self-enquiry to experience awareness. He then suggests that his question is like standing up and then asking, ‘How do I get to my body?’ When you ask that question, you presume that you are something other than the awareness. Don't make that presumption.

A man asks about the tension he feels in his body. Rupert responds that unless they're functional tensions, like for sitting up, they are usually the physical component of the feeling of separation. He suggests understanding and feel that you are the open space in which these tensions arise and surrender the feelings to the space of awareness, like a cloud gradually evaporates into the emptiness of the sky.

A man asks how to get in touch with his love and enthusiasm for making a living and in relationships. Rupert responds that the best practice is to explore the belief in separation so that it is not a part of relationship, which manifests as the desire for the relationship to make one happy. The easiest way to know what to do for a living, or what your purpose is, is to find what you love for financial independence. That is the greatest indication of what to do in the world and the way you share your love and enthusiasm in life. Your work is the medium for sharing this understanding.

A woman wonders if she must face her fears or simply remain in unlimited space. Rupert suggests that you don't really have to make a choice between the two possibilities – either focussing on this buried content or remaining as the unlimited space. If you understand and feel that you are this open, empty aware space and stand as that in relationship to your experience, then there will be no impulse to avoid your feelings. As a result, they will begin to bubble up. Face it as this openness.

A woman who had been a part of a spiritual community was banished by her teacher when she shared that she works with the Ukraine/Russian community. Rupert suggests that while it’s difficult to experience this, he’s glad she is no longer a part of that community. It is limited, and you are ready to move beyond that. An impersonal intelligence was working through her teacher to liberate her from it.

A man describes an awakening experience that created a fear of death that persists and has created a sense of having no direction in life. He shares that he is considering doing what Rupert does. Rupert responds that he never once had a thought about doing what he's doing but assumed he'd spend the rest of his life as an artist. He recommends not thinking of this as a career. It is a calling that comes from deep within and has nothing to do with deciding to do this work.

A woman references the analogy of John Smith and King Lear and asks, ‘Isn’t it John Smith who is seeking his true nature?’ Rupert suggests there is no real person called King Lear. The only person in the character King Lear is John Smith. King Lear is an apparent limitation of John Smith, which believes and feels ‘I am King Lear’. As a concession to that belief and feeling, the teaching gives King Lear something to do to find his true nature: John Smith.

A man feels overwhelmed by the non-dual model proposed by Rupert and Bernardo Kastrup, in which he would think that he is everything and everyone in the world at the same time. Rupert suggests looking back over our lives at the numerous thoughts that appeared in sequence, thoughts separated in time. Time is the conceptual framework we use to accommodate the multiplicity of thoughts. Think of having these thoughts at the same time – which we, as a separate self, cannot do – and they spread out in space and time.