Setting Boundaries with Difficult People from the media Fathers and Handkerchiefs
A man asks about handling abusive family members. Rupert acknowledges that he is dealing with a very difficult situation, but to remember that however difficult, hostile or untruthful family members may be, we share our being with them. If there is violence, then it is appropriate to put up a barrier.
- Duration: 10 minutes and 7 seconds
- Recorded on: Jun 10, 2023
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at The Vedanta – 3rd to 10th June 2023
Rupert closes the retreat by reading a prayer to the Infinite One.
A man references the healing that has been taking place for the men at the retreat who feel they grew up without a ‘whole’ father. He acknowledges his projection of that need onto Rupert.
A man asks about handling abusive family members. Rupert acknowledges that he is dealing with a very difficult situation, but to remember that however difficult, hostile or untruthful family members may be, we share our being with them. If there is violence, then it is appropriate to put up a barrier.
A man asks about responsibility and expectation. Rupert suggests that if someone close to us disappoints and hurts us, it’s natural to feel resistance to it, some of which may be personal and some of which may be impersonal. It’s hard to know which is which, as they are mixed together. When he can, respond to it with love, instead of that first reaction of hurt or anger.
A man shares how he is feeling a variety of negative emotions and wants to reject this retreat experience, including Rupert. Rupert suggests that now that his parents are gone, he is ‘growing up’. In all the years he’s been coming, he’s never referenced rage. These are deeper layers of energy that are coming up and out.
A woman shares how hard it is for her to be with people who are in separation. Rupert suggests that the mind can’t hold it, but who you are can. It’s too much for the mind, but you are that which lies behind the mind, and that is the being you share with the other. There's conflict in the mind, but the resolution takes place in the heart, in the background.
A woman shares that she feels anger when others hurt her family members. Rupert suggests that it’s natural to feel that way. We are one with them. It’s also why we feel badly when a stranger is abused. However, those of us with the greater understanding must not hate those that hate us.
A woman shares her gratitude to Rupert and the retreatants. She says, 'My life has been transformed'.
A man talks about forgiveness and the healing of conflict after relaying an experience with someone from his temple. Rupert affirms that there can still be a very firm ‘no’ that comes from love.
A woman shares a story about her father and the way he used handkerchiefs to show love. She also talks about the struggles her family of origin has faced. Rupert talks about the handkerchief he keeps in his pocket from his father.
A woman responds to the previous question and response by sharing that she gives handkerchiefs with the choir because she was aware of Rupert’s personal story about his father’s handkerchiefs.
A man shares about his father, who was a part of the resistance in WWII. When he asked his father how he felt about the men who tortured him, his father said he had no resentment. ‘It was war.’ Rupert shares the story about a Buddhist prisoner of war that said it was a dangerous situation for him because on several occasions he almost lost compassion for his guards.
Rupert closes the retreat by reading a prayer to the Infinite One.
A man references the healing that has been taking place for the men at the retreat who feel they grew up without a ‘whole’ father. He acknowledges his projection of that need onto Rupert.
A man asks about handling abusive family members. Rupert acknowledges that he is dealing with a very difficult situation, but to remember that however difficult, hostile or untruthful family members may be, we share our being with them. If there is violence, then it is appropriate to put up a barrier.
A man asks about responsibility and expectation. Rupert suggests that if someone close to us disappoints and hurts us, it’s natural to feel resistance to it, some of which may be personal and some of which may be impersonal. It’s hard to know which is which, as they are mixed together. When he can, respond to it with love, instead of that first reaction of hurt or anger.
A man shares how he is feeling a variety of negative emotions and wants to reject this retreat experience, including Rupert. Rupert suggests that now that his parents are gone, he is ‘growing up’. In all the years he’s been coming, he’s never referenced rage. These are deeper layers of energy that are coming up and out.
A woman shares how hard it is for her to be with people who are in separation. Rupert suggests that the mind can’t hold it, but who you are can. It’s too much for the mind, but you are that which lies behind the mind, and that is the being you share with the other. There's conflict in the mind, but the resolution takes place in the heart, in the background.
A woman shares that she feels anger when others hurt her family members. Rupert suggests that it’s natural to feel that way. We are one with them. It’s also why we feel badly when a stranger is abused. However, those of us with the greater understanding must not hate those that hate us.
A woman shares her gratitude to Rupert and the retreatants. She says, 'My life has been transformed'.
A man talks about forgiveness and the healing of conflict after relaying an experience with someone from his temple. Rupert affirms that there can still be a very firm ‘no’ that comes from love.
A woman shares a story about her father and the way he used handkerchiefs to show love. She also talks about the struggles her family of origin has faced. Rupert talks about the handkerchief he keeps in his pocket from his father.
A woman responds to the previous question and response by sharing that she gives handkerchiefs with the choir because she was aware of Rupert’s personal story about his father’s handkerchiefs.
A man shares about his father, who was a part of the resistance in WWII. When he asked his father how he felt about the men who tortured him, his father said he had no resentment. ‘It was war.’ Rupert shares the story about a Buddhist prisoner of war that said it was a dangerous situation for him because on several occasions he almost lost compassion for his guards.