Having Children or Not from the media Peace Remains In the Midst of All Experience
A man asks about why we would bring a person into the world with so much suffering. Rupert suggests that if he were to have children, presuming he is interested in non-duality, then his children would likely have a positive impact. You can argue it both ways.
- Duration: 9 minutes and 33 seconds
- Recorded on: Jul 28, 2022
- Event: Webinar – Thursday 28th July
The simple fact of being or being aware is the constant factor in all changing experience. In normal everyday life, experience obscures being; in meditation or prayer, being outshines experience. Our being is always knowing itself, always aware of itself, but its awareness of itself is overlooked due to its awareness of objects. This is why this understanding is sometimes referred to as a recognition. To begin with, we have to turn away from the content of experience in order to become aware of the fact of being, but in time experience loses its capacity to take us away for ourself and we begin to find ourself established in our true nature. At this point the boundary between meditation or prayer and our everyday lives diminishes and eventually dissolves. We remain in touch with the peace of our true nature not just in the absence of experience but in the midst of all experience.
A man who is experiencing anxiety, triggered by the idea of presenting a false sense of self, specifically on an academic path. Rupert responds that if an activity enhances your sense of self, the cure is to become aware of who you really are. Anxiety is not essential to who you are; it comes and goes. He asks, ‘What is it that is always with you?’ Take your stand as that and your anxiety and fear will diminish.
A man asks about the distinction between saying ‘yes’ to the conditions of our life and having a passive resignation. Rupert suggests that acceptance is often a covering over of resistance. The resistance is usually buried underneath it. When we’re thinking of changing or accepting things in our life, think in terms of our deep love of understanding and truth and make changes that come from that.
A woman asks about attention to a sensation, and whether being is involved with that experience, specifically with the experience of the body. Rupert responds that giving our attention to an experience is not the same as becoming identified with an experience – we know the experience, but we are not that experience. Getting involved in an experience, even of the body, does not mean we believe that we are the experience. It is the belief that is problematic.
A woman asks whether changes in appearance is the activity of consciousness. Rupert responds that a change is a change in its activity but not in its nature. The world is the activity of consciousness, and there is only consciousness.
A man, who references attachment theory and the dance of relationships, asks about the non-dual perspective. Rupert references the Jungian concept of projection and how we tend to project our unconsciousness material onto intimate partners. We can't live up to these projections, so we must have compassion and allow the other to be imperfect.
A man says he comes back to his self after self-enquiry and self-abidance when asking the question 'Who am I?'. He asks about watching his thoughts. Rupert responds that neither of these are mental processes; they are resting in your being. The questions are the precursor to that resting. It's important to make a distinction between self-abidance and mindfulness, which is more about watching your thoughts.
A woman shares that she goes in and out of anxiety and resting in being and feels sometimes that it’s all too much. Rupert suggests that sometimes it’s too big a step to go from difficult emotions all the way back to our essential nature. Sometimes an intermediary step is required, like focusing on the breath. Rupert also suggests taking a more loving attitude towards her anxiety instead of judging it. We can't change the feeling, but we can change our attitude toward it.
A woman who translates Rupert's books into Hebrew says she doesn't have a question but wanted to connect and express her gratitude. Rupert reciprocates with his own gratitude.
A man asks about why we would bring a person into the world with so much suffering. Rupert suggests that if he were to have children, presuming he is interested in non-duality, then his children would likely have a positive impact. You can argue it both ways.
A man suggests that the non-experience of 'I am' is the same as being aware of being aware. He references Nisargadatta and other Neo-Advaita teachers who talk of what is beyond this non-experience. Rupert suggests that he find out in his own experience, asking, ‘Can you find anything in experience prior to awareness?’
A man asks if abiding as awareness means we stop believing we are a person. Rupert references John Smith and King Lear. Nothing is added to John Smith acting as and identifying with the experience of King Lear, but King Lear is subtracted from and as the character. This is a process of subtraction rather than addition.
A man remarks on how clearly Rupert relays the message that we are infinite peace. He feels that we should burst out in joy when we hear that. Rupert suggests that if those words trigger a recognition in us, interrupt the flow of experience and take us back to the awareness to which they refer, then we cannot help but feel joy.
A man asks how to be in a relationship and love from this understanding. Rupert suggests two things: one, that we don't try to change our partner, and two, we don't expect her or him to make us happy. This will go a long way to making it the best possible relationship.
A woman who tries to see beyond people’s trauma and conditioning, wonders if she should give up thinking there could be an equal relationship as it relates to her sister. Rupert suggests it is appropriate to have boundaries. And sometimes others cannot understand that boundaries are actually loving, not hostile, but we still have to set them.
The simple fact of being or being aware is the constant factor in all changing experience. In normal everyday life, experience obscures being; in meditation or prayer, being outshines experience. Our being is always knowing itself, always aware of itself, but its awareness of itself is overlooked due to its awareness of objects. This is why this understanding is sometimes referred to as a recognition. To begin with, we have to turn away from the content of experience in order to become aware of the fact of being, but in time experience loses its capacity to take us away for ourself and we begin to find ourself established in our true nature. At this point the boundary between meditation or prayer and our everyday lives diminishes and eventually dissolves. We remain in touch with the peace of our true nature not just in the absence of experience but in the midst of all experience.
A man who is experiencing anxiety, triggered by the idea of presenting a false sense of self, specifically on an academic path. Rupert responds that if an activity enhances your sense of self, the cure is to become aware of who you really are. Anxiety is not essential to who you are; it comes and goes. He asks, ‘What is it that is always with you?’ Take your stand as that and your anxiety and fear will diminish.
A man asks about the distinction between saying ‘yes’ to the conditions of our life and having a passive resignation. Rupert suggests that acceptance is often a covering over of resistance. The resistance is usually buried underneath it. When we’re thinking of changing or accepting things in our life, think in terms of our deep love of understanding and truth and make changes that come from that.
A woman asks about attention to a sensation, and whether being is involved with that experience, specifically with the experience of the body. Rupert responds that giving our attention to an experience is not the same as becoming identified with an experience – we know the experience, but we are not that experience. Getting involved in an experience, even of the body, does not mean we believe that we are the experience. It is the belief that is problematic.
A woman asks whether changes in appearance is the activity of consciousness. Rupert responds that a change is a change in its activity but not in its nature. The world is the activity of consciousness, and there is only consciousness.
A man, who references attachment theory and the dance of relationships, asks about the non-dual perspective. Rupert references the Jungian concept of projection and how we tend to project our unconsciousness material onto intimate partners. We can't live up to these projections, so we must have compassion and allow the other to be imperfect.
A man says he comes back to his self after self-enquiry and self-abidance when asking the question 'Who am I?'. He asks about watching his thoughts. Rupert responds that neither of these are mental processes; they are resting in your being. The questions are the precursor to that resting. It's important to make a distinction between self-abidance and mindfulness, which is more about watching your thoughts.
A woman shares that she goes in and out of anxiety and resting in being and feels sometimes that it’s all too much. Rupert suggests that sometimes it’s too big a step to go from difficult emotions all the way back to our essential nature. Sometimes an intermediary step is required, like focusing on the breath. Rupert also suggests taking a more loving attitude towards her anxiety instead of judging it. We can't change the feeling, but we can change our attitude toward it.
A woman who translates Rupert's books into Hebrew says she doesn't have a question but wanted to connect and express her gratitude. Rupert reciprocates with his own gratitude.
A man asks about why we would bring a person into the world with so much suffering. Rupert suggests that if he were to have children, presuming he is interested in non-duality, then his children would likely have a positive impact. You can argue it both ways.
A man suggests that the non-experience of 'I am' is the same as being aware of being aware. He references Nisargadatta and other Neo-Advaita teachers who talk of what is beyond this non-experience. Rupert suggests that he find out in his own experience, asking, ‘Can you find anything in experience prior to awareness?’
A man asks if abiding as awareness means we stop believing we are a person. Rupert references John Smith and King Lear. Nothing is added to John Smith acting as and identifying with the experience of King Lear, but King Lear is subtracted from and as the character. This is a process of subtraction rather than addition.
A man remarks on how clearly Rupert relays the message that we are infinite peace. He feels that we should burst out in joy when we hear that. Rupert suggests that if those words trigger a recognition in us, interrupt the flow of experience and take us back to the awareness to which they refer, then we cannot help but feel joy.
A man asks how to be in a relationship and love from this understanding. Rupert suggests two things: one, that we don't try to change our partner, and two, we don't expect her or him to make us happy. This will go a long way to making it the best possible relationship.
A woman who tries to see beyond people’s trauma and conditioning, wonders if she should give up thinking there could be an equal relationship as it relates to her sister. Rupert suggests it is appropriate to have boundaries. And sometimes others cannot understand that boundaries are actually loving, not hostile, but we still have to set them.