Taking Care of an Elderly Parent from the media Being Our Naked Being
A woman talks about taking care of her elderly mother with progressive Alzheimer's. Having lived a spiritual life in India for many years, she sees her performing this caregiving as the most important part of her life. Rupert suggests that the feelings she's going through now might be connected to an earlier time when she cared for her mother as a young girl, and her mother was dealing with manic-depression. He also encourages her that it's okay for emotions like intense anger to come up; it's part of the healing process before her mother dies. Love is the healing agent, but she also needs to allow things to unfold. She can be a loving space for both her mother and herself.
- Duration: 7 minutes and 39 seconds
- Recorded on: Jan 3, 2024
- Event: Webinar – Wednesday, 3 January
The Pathless Path differs from the progressive and Direct paths, suggesting no journey from our perceived self to our true nature. There’s no gap to traverse, hence no need for a path, practice, or effort. It likens the ‘journey’ to a wave's seamless merge into the ocean, or the room's space joining the universe’s expanse – ultimately, no path at all. What’s necessary is clear self-recognition. We cannot become what we already are. Trying to take a step towards oneself is futile – we are always inherently ourself. Acknowledging being aware, and abiding as that knowingly, is the essence. For the spiritually practised mind, this concept can be frustrating; there's nothing to do. This Pathless Path is about abiding in or as being, is not something that need be limited to any formal period of so-called meditation. It can be our natural disposition throughout the day.
A woman asks if there is more to reality than the perceptions of finite minds. Rupert replies that not only is there much more to reality than the content of a single finite mind – in other words, one’s own experience – but reality is also much more than the total of perceptions of all finite minds. Our senses are not clear windshields through which we perceive reality as it really is; they filter reality consistent with their own limitations. For instance, someone wearing orange-tinted glasses will see orange-colored snow. They are actually seeing two things: the white snow and the orange tint. When we look at the world, we see reality (the white snow) and the way it appears to us (the orange tint), which is derived from the limitations of our perceiving faculties.
A man asks how, besides practising presence by sinking the mind into the heart, to stay calm and present in the world. Rupert suggests, refine your meditation. Be the space for everything, the allowing of everything, like the open sky. Let everything be, and just be the space. Smile at the thundercloud, smile as the cloud appears, and smile as it fades away. Awareness is un-overwhelmable.
A woman expresses gratitude for a previous conversation with Rupert in which he compared her self-hatred, a result of childhood emotional abuse, to food poisoning. She describes what a tremendous difference it made in her experience and how, using the food-poisoning metaphor, she was able to help others struggling with self-doubt.
A man asks, if the finite mind can only perceive the world in dual terms – perception and the perceiver – how can he change the reference of the perception to become non-dual and see a unified world? Rupert replies that to see the unified world, we don't need to change our perceiving faculties. If you change orange-tinted glasses to green-tinted glasses, you still don't see the white snow. Time and space are not inherent in reality; it's just how it appears to the finite mind. Reality, in reference to time and space, is said to be eternal and infinite.
A man recounts his previous meeting with Rupert, saying he was in a lot of pain and was inflicting that pain onto others. For the last couple of years, he isolated himself from the world. At some point, he experienced what he calls 'God's grace' in the midst of intense suffering. Rupert replies that he is glad the man is feeling better now.
A man asks about deep healing, referencing a YouTube clip where Rupert said not to take these teachings as a position when dealing with the world. Rupert replies, in this approach, we are not taking a position; it is a felt understanding of our self and the nature of reality. When you meet somebody, you don't take a position in relation to them, but you feel you share your being with them; you're open. In this understanding, you are free to take many different positions from moment to moment as the circumstance demands.
A man expresses his gratitude and explains his situation regarding his wife's attempted suicide last year. She is alive but blames the man and his family for her psychological suffering. He asks whether he should divorce her. Rupert replies that he cannot give advice on whether to divorce. He says that the man is, of course, not personally responsible, but the best help he could give his wife is to encourage her to get good psychological help. Ensure that communication with her is very loving, and that when he thinks about her, he should hold his love in his heart.
Many yogis discuss mahasamadhi, which involves consciously leaving the body and is sometimes referred to as 'yogic suicide'. A man asks if Rupert can share his thoughts on this practice. Rupert suggests that if you want to be conscious as awareness when you die, the best practice is to be conscious as awareness when you live. That's the best preparation for death. In fact, if you remain as consciousness while you live, you have already died as a person. Death of the body is like taking off an overcoat. You have died now; you have been reborn now.
A woman talks about taking care of her elderly mother with progressive Alzheimer's. Having lived a spiritual life in India for many years, she sees her performing this caregiving as the most important part of her life. Rupert suggests that the feelings she's going through now might be connected to an earlier time when she cared for her mother as a young girl, and her mother was dealing with manic-depression. He also encourages her that it's okay for emotions like intense anger to come up; it's part of the healing process before her mother dies. Love is the healing agent, but she also needs to allow things to unfold. She can be a loving space for both her mother and herself.
A man, suspecting he might be experiencing dementia, seeks advice in terms of non-dual understanding. Rupert advises him to carry on with what he is doing now and go more and more deeply into his being. He recounts his beautiful conversations with his elderly mother, emphasising their deep connection and shared understanding that goes beyond rational intellect. Rupert assures the man that even if the mind unravels, the love of truth remains, and there's no need to worry about losing it.
A man asks about the post-awakening realignment of the body and mind. He shares a story about rescuing a diseased pigeon and feeling a desire for the pigeon to die. He seeks guidance on realigning his understanding so that he can approach every situation with love. Rupert replies that love is understanding that everyone shares one being; others are our self. He advises applying that understanding appropriately to any situation faced. Indifference by itself can be cold or harsh, and love without discrimination can be misguided. It's not either love or indifference; it's loving indifference.
A man asks about the Tantric approach to awakening. Rupert replies that loving indifference is a combination of both Tantric and Vedantic approaches. In the Vedantic approach, we emphasise our independence from experience – that's the indifference part. In the Tantric approach, we recognize that we are one with everything, and that's love. Our approach is a mixture of both Vedantic and Tantric approaches.
The Pathless Path differs from the progressive and Direct paths, suggesting no journey from our perceived self to our true nature. There’s no gap to traverse, hence no need for a path, practice, or effort. It likens the ‘journey’ to a wave's seamless merge into the ocean, or the room's space joining the universe’s expanse – ultimately, no path at all. What’s necessary is clear self-recognition. We cannot become what we already are. Trying to take a step towards oneself is futile – we are always inherently ourself. Acknowledging being aware, and abiding as that knowingly, is the essence. For the spiritually practised mind, this concept can be frustrating; there's nothing to do. This Pathless Path is about abiding in or as being, is not something that need be limited to any formal period of so-called meditation. It can be our natural disposition throughout the day.
A woman asks if there is more to reality than the perceptions of finite minds. Rupert replies that not only is there much more to reality than the content of a single finite mind – in other words, one’s own experience – but reality is also much more than the total of perceptions of all finite minds. Our senses are not clear windshields through which we perceive reality as it really is; they filter reality consistent with their own limitations. For instance, someone wearing orange-tinted glasses will see orange-colored snow. They are actually seeing two things: the white snow and the orange tint. When we look at the world, we see reality (the white snow) and the way it appears to us (the orange tint), which is derived from the limitations of our perceiving faculties.
A man asks how, besides practising presence by sinking the mind into the heart, to stay calm and present in the world. Rupert suggests, refine your meditation. Be the space for everything, the allowing of everything, like the open sky. Let everything be, and just be the space. Smile at the thundercloud, smile as the cloud appears, and smile as it fades away. Awareness is un-overwhelmable.
A woman expresses gratitude for a previous conversation with Rupert in which he compared her self-hatred, a result of childhood emotional abuse, to food poisoning. She describes what a tremendous difference it made in her experience and how, using the food-poisoning metaphor, she was able to help others struggling with self-doubt.
A man asks, if the finite mind can only perceive the world in dual terms – perception and the perceiver – how can he change the reference of the perception to become non-dual and see a unified world? Rupert replies that to see the unified world, we don't need to change our perceiving faculties. If you change orange-tinted glasses to green-tinted glasses, you still don't see the white snow. Time and space are not inherent in reality; it's just how it appears to the finite mind. Reality, in reference to time and space, is said to be eternal and infinite.
A man recounts his previous meeting with Rupert, saying he was in a lot of pain and was inflicting that pain onto others. For the last couple of years, he isolated himself from the world. At some point, he experienced what he calls 'God's grace' in the midst of intense suffering. Rupert replies that he is glad the man is feeling better now.
A man asks about deep healing, referencing a YouTube clip where Rupert said not to take these teachings as a position when dealing with the world. Rupert replies, in this approach, we are not taking a position; it is a felt understanding of our self and the nature of reality. When you meet somebody, you don't take a position in relation to them, but you feel you share your being with them; you're open. In this understanding, you are free to take many different positions from moment to moment as the circumstance demands.
A man expresses his gratitude and explains his situation regarding his wife's attempted suicide last year. She is alive but blames the man and his family for her psychological suffering. He asks whether he should divorce her. Rupert replies that he cannot give advice on whether to divorce. He says that the man is, of course, not personally responsible, but the best help he could give his wife is to encourage her to get good psychological help. Ensure that communication with her is very loving, and that when he thinks about her, he should hold his love in his heart.
Many yogis discuss mahasamadhi, which involves consciously leaving the body and is sometimes referred to as 'yogic suicide'. A man asks if Rupert can share his thoughts on this practice. Rupert suggests that if you want to be conscious as awareness when you die, the best practice is to be conscious as awareness when you live. That's the best preparation for death. In fact, if you remain as consciousness while you live, you have already died as a person. Death of the body is like taking off an overcoat. You have died now; you have been reborn now.
A woman talks about taking care of her elderly mother with progressive Alzheimer's. Having lived a spiritual life in India for many years, she sees her performing this caregiving as the most important part of her life. Rupert suggests that the feelings she's going through now might be connected to an earlier time when she cared for her mother as a young girl, and her mother was dealing with manic-depression. He also encourages her that it's okay for emotions like intense anger to come up; it's part of the healing process before her mother dies. Love is the healing agent, but she also needs to allow things to unfold. She can be a loving space for both her mother and herself.
A man, suspecting he might be experiencing dementia, seeks advice in terms of non-dual understanding. Rupert advises him to carry on with what he is doing now and go more and more deeply into his being. He recounts his beautiful conversations with his elderly mother, emphasising their deep connection and shared understanding that goes beyond rational intellect. Rupert assures the man that even if the mind unravels, the love of truth remains, and there's no need to worry about losing it.
A man asks about the post-awakening realignment of the body and mind. He shares a story about rescuing a diseased pigeon and feeling a desire for the pigeon to die. He seeks guidance on realigning his understanding so that he can approach every situation with love. Rupert replies that love is understanding that everyone shares one being; others are our self. He advises applying that understanding appropriately to any situation faced. Indifference by itself can be cold or harsh, and love without discrimination can be misguided. It's not either love or indifference; it's loving indifference.
A man asks about the Tantric approach to awakening. Rupert replies that loving indifference is a combination of both Tantric and Vedantic approaches. In the Vedantic approach, we emphasise our independence from experience – that's the indifference part. In the Tantric approach, we recognize that we are one with everything, and that's love. Our approach is a mixture of both Vedantic and Tantric approaches.