It's Natural to Feel Loss, To Miss Loved Ones from the media There Are No Thoughts, No Things
A man says he is confused or in love with objects. He gives the example of the death of his mother and his cat, both of whom he misses. Rupert suggests it's natural to feel loss, to miss our departed loved ones. Behind that sense of loss, there is your being, which is always at peace.
- Duration: 4 minutes and 15 seconds
- Recorded on: Oct 11, 2023
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Garrison Institute – 8th to 15th October
A woman speaks of her anger at God for being joyful in the presence of so much suffering. Rupert responds that she may end up becoming angry at him, because his answer is, 'God doesn't know about our suffering.' Suffering is only such from the limited perspective of a finite mind. He uses the metaphor of Mary and Jane, explaning that Jane sees suffering but Mary only sees it through the limited perspective of Jane, the dream character. As she is finite, she will always suffer until she wakes up and realises she's Mary.
A question is asked about the three stages of thought, specifically the third stage. Rupert asks, 'What are your thoughts made of?' There's the knowing of it. What is the 'it'? There is no 'it', there is just knowing. There are no such things as thought; there are no things, period. There is only consciousness.
If the body and mind don't resist, will the body-mind's trajectory be changed? Should I resist or not resist? Rupert responds that it's fine to resist, its natural to do so. The absence of resistance refers to awareness. Investigate who it is that is upset and resisting? Can you find that self? What happens to the upset if you cannot find that which is upset?
What is attention? Does attention link the apparent self with the apparent world? Rupert replies that attention the focusing of awareness towards an object. There is a source and a destiny, or object. Meditation is the relaxing of that attention, and it goes back to its source. The world, which is known by the finite mind, can appear as duality. The separate self is not the appearance of duality but the belief in separation. A superfluous addition to the finite mind.
A man says he is confused or in love with objects. He gives the example of the death of his mother and his cat, both of whom he misses. Rupert suggests it's natural to feel loss, to miss our departed loved ones. Behind that sense of loss, there is your being, which is always at peace.
A man brings up the topic of surrendering to grief. Rupert suggests that if grief is unmanageable, no strategy works, all we can do is surrender to it. We cannot avoid it. And in that moment, we touch our true nature.
A woman asks about translating a thought into an action, or is it already scripted? Can we decide or do things just happen? Rupert responds that things tend just to happen. The entire universe conspires to make the smallest thing to happen. Thoughts don't have a direct relationship to the thinker.
Can we not blame other people for what is happening? Rupert suggests that the separate self appropriates the idea that 'God is everything', which is true except when used by the ego and its meaning is perverted.
A woman asks about the nature of time and the purpose of prayer if events are preordained. Rupert explains that while some events might seem predestined, there's a level of spontaneity in life. For instance, individuals might need to be receptive and open to the universe to connect with their destined partner. Also, there’s a deep sense of recognition when two people, who are meant to be together, meet.
A man asks about refined perception, which he understands to be no longer seeing the limited and seeing the unlimited in the limited, but he says there can be a problem comunicating with others. Rupert suggests that if you see the infinite in the finite, then you wouldn't make such distinctions between who you can and cannot speak to.
A question is asked about the relationship between being an artist and suffering. Rupert speaks of artists such as Bach and Van Gogh, who sacrificed their life for art, and who suffered tremendously.
A woman describes her dream after a near-death experience in which she was given the message, 'You must write.' But she is greatly reluctant to do the writing. Rupert suggests she write from the understanding that she has now. Maybe the writing was waiting for that in order for you to proceed.
A man asks for clarification regarding Meister Eckhart's wisdom. Rupert elaborates that you have to be discriminating about which passages you read, because Eckhart was speaking from the top of the mountain, and to a whole variety of different people.
A man says he has recently been introduced to the teachings and has been living at ease. When he arrived at the retreat, something egoic gripped him, feeling like self-doubt and anxiety. Rupert responds that the old sense of separation, the ego feels like its days are numbered, so it rebels and tries to reassert itself. Don't give it the attention it craves.
A question is asked about physically overpowering – paralysing – anxiety. Rupert suggests that when it is so intense, self-enquiry is not recommended because you will be at war with yourself. This might be a good time for the progressive path, something that diminishes its intensity like taking a walk or spending time with a friend. After that, you can explore the Tantric/Vedantic paths.
A man describes his journey that has brought him to devotion and Christian mysticism. He asks if his feeling of pure love is a step. Rupert replies that it's a valid point to consider, and he suggests starting in devotion, then leaving to answer the mind's objections, and then going back to devotion. The way of knowledge and the way of love are the same, ultimately. Pure love is an inevitable consequence of the way of knowledge.
A woman says she wants to know how to leave her job in love rather than in a huff. Rupert suggests not bothering to try to like your coworkers, but to recognise that at the deepest level, their being is the same as your being.
A woman asks if the trajectory of the body and mind is the same as karma. Rupert responds yes. She then asks when effort comes in. Rupert responds that the effort has already been made. Destiny has already been accomplished, so you can make effort but without an investment in the outcome.
Is there suffering for everyone who has a finite mind? Rupert says yes, because it's rare that the finite mind doesn't believe it is a separate, independent self, which is the cause of all suffering.
Does love contain only the recognition of shared being, and if so, how does being engage with being and receive love without imposing conditions? Rupert responds that love is the recognition of our shared being, and in order to have the best possible relationship, you don't want to impose any conditions. But it's also important to create a container for that love and take care of it.
A man asks about the practice of devotion, as he spends fourteen hours a day in prayer. Rupert asks why only fourteen hours? Why not spend all your time in devotion? Spend your whole life in your prayer room, pray without ceasing.
A woman speaks of her anger at God for being joyful in the presence of so much suffering. Rupert responds that she may end up becoming angry at him, because his answer is, 'God doesn't know about our suffering.' Suffering is only such from the limited perspective of a finite mind. He uses the metaphor of Mary and Jane, explaning that Jane sees suffering but Mary only sees it through the limited perspective of Jane, the dream character. As she is finite, she will always suffer until she wakes up and realises she's Mary.
A question is asked about the three stages of thought, specifically the third stage. Rupert asks, 'What are your thoughts made of?' There's the knowing of it. What is the 'it'? There is no 'it', there is just knowing. There are no such things as thought; there are no things, period. There is only consciousness.
If the body and mind don't resist, will the body-mind's trajectory be changed? Should I resist or not resist? Rupert responds that it's fine to resist, its natural to do so. The absence of resistance refers to awareness. Investigate who it is that is upset and resisting? Can you find that self? What happens to the upset if you cannot find that which is upset?
What is attention? Does attention link the apparent self with the apparent world? Rupert replies that attention the focusing of awareness towards an object. There is a source and a destiny, or object. Meditation is the relaxing of that attention, and it goes back to its source. The world, which is known by the finite mind, can appear as duality. The separate self is not the appearance of duality but the belief in separation. A superfluous addition to the finite mind.
A man says he is confused or in love with objects. He gives the example of the death of his mother and his cat, both of whom he misses. Rupert suggests it's natural to feel loss, to miss our departed loved ones. Behind that sense of loss, there is your being, which is always at peace.
A man brings up the topic of surrendering to grief. Rupert suggests that if grief is unmanageable, no strategy works, all we can do is surrender to it. We cannot avoid it. And in that moment, we touch our true nature.
A woman asks about translating a thought into an action, or is it already scripted? Can we decide or do things just happen? Rupert responds that things tend just to happen. The entire universe conspires to make the smallest thing to happen. Thoughts don't have a direct relationship to the thinker.
Can we not blame other people for what is happening? Rupert suggests that the separate self appropriates the idea that 'God is everything', which is true except when used by the ego and its meaning is perverted.
A woman asks about the nature of time and the purpose of prayer if events are preordained. Rupert explains that while some events might seem predestined, there's a level of spontaneity in life. For instance, individuals might need to be receptive and open to the universe to connect with their destined partner. Also, there’s a deep sense of recognition when two people, who are meant to be together, meet.
A man asks about refined perception, which he understands to be no longer seeing the limited and seeing the unlimited in the limited, but he says there can be a problem comunicating with others. Rupert suggests that if you see the infinite in the finite, then you wouldn't make such distinctions between who you can and cannot speak to.
A question is asked about the relationship between being an artist and suffering. Rupert speaks of artists such as Bach and Van Gogh, who sacrificed their life for art, and who suffered tremendously.
A woman describes her dream after a near-death experience in which she was given the message, 'You must write.' But she is greatly reluctant to do the writing. Rupert suggests she write from the understanding that she has now. Maybe the writing was waiting for that in order for you to proceed.
A man asks for clarification regarding Meister Eckhart's wisdom. Rupert elaborates that you have to be discriminating about which passages you read, because Eckhart was speaking from the top of the mountain, and to a whole variety of different people.
A man says he has recently been introduced to the teachings and has been living at ease. When he arrived at the retreat, something egoic gripped him, feeling like self-doubt and anxiety. Rupert responds that the old sense of separation, the ego feels like its days are numbered, so it rebels and tries to reassert itself. Don't give it the attention it craves.
A question is asked about physically overpowering – paralysing – anxiety. Rupert suggests that when it is so intense, self-enquiry is not recommended because you will be at war with yourself. This might be a good time for the progressive path, something that diminishes its intensity like taking a walk or spending time with a friend. After that, you can explore the Tantric/Vedantic paths.
A man describes his journey that has brought him to devotion and Christian mysticism. He asks if his feeling of pure love is a step. Rupert replies that it's a valid point to consider, and he suggests starting in devotion, then leaving to answer the mind's objections, and then going back to devotion. The way of knowledge and the way of love are the same, ultimately. Pure love is an inevitable consequence of the way of knowledge.
A woman says she wants to know how to leave her job in love rather than in a huff. Rupert suggests not bothering to try to like your coworkers, but to recognise that at the deepest level, their being is the same as your being.
A woman asks if the trajectory of the body and mind is the same as karma. Rupert responds yes. She then asks when effort comes in. Rupert responds that the effort has already been made. Destiny has already been accomplished, so you can make effort but without an investment in the outcome.
Is there suffering for everyone who has a finite mind? Rupert says yes, because it's rare that the finite mind doesn't believe it is a separate, independent self, which is the cause of all suffering.
Does love contain only the recognition of shared being, and if so, how does being engage with being and receive love without imposing conditions? Rupert responds that love is the recognition of our shared being, and in order to have the best possible relationship, you don't want to impose any conditions. But it's also important to create a container for that love and take care of it.
A man asks about the practice of devotion, as he spends fourteen hours a day in prayer. Rupert asks why only fourteen hours? Why not spend all your time in devotion? Spend your whole life in your prayer room, pray without ceasing.