Feeling ‘Possessed’ by Addictive Habits from the media An Excuse to Express Love
Stress at home has triggered a man’s old addictive habits, such as buying guitars and overeating, and he feels ‘possessed’, unable to choose his thoughts. Is he truly responsible for his actions? Rupert responds that in this case, the man should regard himself as responsible and capable of choice. He cautions against letting the ego use non-dual teachings to excuse behaviour and suggests applying gentle discipline, like taking cold showers, to interrupt addictive tendencies.
- Duration: 12 minutes and 49 seconds
- Recorded on: Sep 8, 2024
- Event: Seven-Day Meditation Retreat at Mandali – 7 to 14 September 2024
A man asks how curiosity manifests in Rupert’s life. Rupert explains that curiosity is always an impulse towards the unknown. He gives an example of meeting someone in a breakfast queue who used to play tennis at Wimbledon, which makes him curious about their life. However, Rupert clarifies that the conversation about tennis is just an excuse to express love.
A man struggling with the concept of matter being an illusion asks Rupert to make this idea more tangible. Rupert replies that matter, traditionally defined as something outside of consciousness, becomes less substantial the more it’s examined. He explains that matter doesn’t exist as such; all that exists is consciousness. The objective world appears as matter when viewed from the perspective of a finite mind.
A woman expresses that during meditation she feels a strong pull and longing that becomes so intense it affects her breathing, and she wonders whether this is a distraction. Rupert encourages her to follow the longing and not resist it. He describes a critical moment in the life of a devotee, where one must let go of the object of their longing. God’s love, he says, does not exist at the destination of this longing but at its source, within one’s heart.
A woman who recently lost her best friend to suicide expresses doubts about continuing her work guiding people because she feels she failed her friend. Rupert assures her that she was not responsible for her friend’s conditioned mind. He tells her it was beautiful that during peaceful moments, she helped her friend see who she truly was; and he encourages her to think of her friend as laughing and smiling, and to know that her friend would want her to continue helping people by taking them to their true nature.
A woman shares that after a recent retreat, she has experienced periods of abiding in being, but when she slips back into separation, it becomes more painful. Rupert responds that as we become more accustomed to abiding in the peace of being, we also become more sensitive to even subtle feelings of separation. This heightened sensitivity is a good thing, as it allows these subtle feelings to be observed and released rather than acted upon.
A man who has experienced a dramatic awakening feels he has lost his playfulness. He sees others enjoying the simplest of activities but no longer finds joy in them. Rupert shares a story from his youth, when he became deeply interested in non-duality and withdrew from worldly pursuits, appearing aloof and judgmental. He disapproved of simple activities, thinking time was better spent seeking God. It’s natural to lose interest in activities after awakening, he explains, but over time, one returns to them for pure enjoyment.
Stress at home has triggered a man’s old addictive habits, such as buying guitars and overeating, and he feels ‘possessed’, unable to choose his thoughts. Is he truly responsible for his actions? Rupert responds that in this case, the man should regard himself as responsible and capable of choice. He cautions against letting the ego use non-dual teachings to excuse behaviour and suggests applying gentle discipline, like taking cold showers, to interrupt addictive tendencies.
A man asks about the role of the body in the teachings. Rupert acknowledges that, in the early days, more time was spent exploring and dissolving bodily sensations in awareness, particularly in yoga meditations. Now, such activity is more implicit. Rather than using the body as a step towards recognising our true nature, the approach is to directly recognise our true nature and align the body with this recognition.
A man asks why, after twenty years practising Advaita, Rupert turned to embrace Kashmir Shaivism. Rupert replies that Advaita fulfilled his love of truth but not his love of beauty and the world. In Kashmir Shaivism, he found that his love of truth and beauty were the same love, expressed through both the inward- and outward-facing paths.
A woman shares about her lifelong inner conflict: although she has loved the world deeply since childhood, she has always felt that she does not belong. Rupert acknowledges her feeling of not belonging and explains that our true nature is not of the world but of spirit. He adds that while this can initially cause us to turn away from the world, deepening spiritual understanding brings greater love for the world and others.
A woman shares her concern about mistaking her being for dissociation. She explains how, following childhood trauma, she withdrew into a peaceful sanctuary within and is now fearful that her current experience may be a continuation of that dissociative state. Rupert reassures her, explaining that she is not deluding herself but returning to her true nature, and this is an opportunity to integrate her being and heal the split between her inner sanctuary and the world.
A man asks about ‘A Course in Miracles’, wondering if it is valid and if channelled teachings imply different levels of consciousness. Rupert responds that many people from ACIM attend his meetings, and his teaching helps them understand its message. In his view, ACIM makes more concessions to the separate self. And he adds that there are no levels of consciousness, only levels of mind.
A man asks whether the experience of being is within the scope of our limited faculties of perception. Rupert replies that there is only one experience we have that is not subject to the limitations of thought and perception: the experience of being. He explains this through a metaphor of a Turner painting, where the full moon seems like an object but is actually the only part of the white paper that has not been painted, representing how the experience of being is not filtered by the mind but shines through it.
A man asks how curiosity manifests in Rupert’s life. Rupert explains that curiosity is always an impulse towards the unknown. He gives an example of meeting someone in a breakfast queue who used to play tennis at Wimbledon, which makes him curious about their life. However, Rupert clarifies that the conversation about tennis is just an excuse to express love.
A man struggling with the concept of matter being an illusion asks Rupert to make this idea more tangible. Rupert replies that matter, traditionally defined as something outside of consciousness, becomes less substantial the more it’s examined. He explains that matter doesn’t exist as such; all that exists is consciousness. The objective world appears as matter when viewed from the perspective of a finite mind.
A woman expresses that during meditation she feels a strong pull and longing that becomes so intense it affects her breathing, and she wonders whether this is a distraction. Rupert encourages her to follow the longing and not resist it. He describes a critical moment in the life of a devotee, where one must let go of the object of their longing. God’s love, he says, does not exist at the destination of this longing but at its source, within one’s heart.
A woman who recently lost her best friend to suicide expresses doubts about continuing her work guiding people because she feels she failed her friend. Rupert assures her that she was not responsible for her friend’s conditioned mind. He tells her it was beautiful that during peaceful moments, she helped her friend see who she truly was; and he encourages her to think of her friend as laughing and smiling, and to know that her friend would want her to continue helping people by taking them to their true nature.
A woman shares that after a recent retreat, she has experienced periods of abiding in being, but when she slips back into separation, it becomes more painful. Rupert responds that as we become more accustomed to abiding in the peace of being, we also become more sensitive to even subtle feelings of separation. This heightened sensitivity is a good thing, as it allows these subtle feelings to be observed and released rather than acted upon.
A man who has experienced a dramatic awakening feels he has lost his playfulness. He sees others enjoying the simplest of activities but no longer finds joy in them. Rupert shares a story from his youth, when he became deeply interested in non-duality and withdrew from worldly pursuits, appearing aloof and judgmental. He disapproved of simple activities, thinking time was better spent seeking God. It’s natural to lose interest in activities after awakening, he explains, but over time, one returns to them for pure enjoyment.
Stress at home has triggered a man’s old addictive habits, such as buying guitars and overeating, and he feels ‘possessed’, unable to choose his thoughts. Is he truly responsible for his actions? Rupert responds that in this case, the man should regard himself as responsible and capable of choice. He cautions against letting the ego use non-dual teachings to excuse behaviour and suggests applying gentle discipline, like taking cold showers, to interrupt addictive tendencies.
A man asks about the role of the body in the teachings. Rupert acknowledges that, in the early days, more time was spent exploring and dissolving bodily sensations in awareness, particularly in yoga meditations. Now, such activity is more implicit. Rather than using the body as a step towards recognising our true nature, the approach is to directly recognise our true nature and align the body with this recognition.
A man asks why, after twenty years practising Advaita, Rupert turned to embrace Kashmir Shaivism. Rupert replies that Advaita fulfilled his love of truth but not his love of beauty and the world. In Kashmir Shaivism, he found that his love of truth and beauty were the same love, expressed through both the inward- and outward-facing paths.
A woman shares about her lifelong inner conflict: although she has loved the world deeply since childhood, she has always felt that she does not belong. Rupert acknowledges her feeling of not belonging and explains that our true nature is not of the world but of spirit. He adds that while this can initially cause us to turn away from the world, deepening spiritual understanding brings greater love for the world and others.
A woman shares her concern about mistaking her being for dissociation. She explains how, following childhood trauma, she withdrew into a peaceful sanctuary within and is now fearful that her current experience may be a continuation of that dissociative state. Rupert reassures her, explaining that she is not deluding herself but returning to her true nature, and this is an opportunity to integrate her being and heal the split between her inner sanctuary and the world.
A man asks about ‘A Course in Miracles’, wondering if it is valid and if channelled teachings imply different levels of consciousness. Rupert responds that many people from ACIM attend his meetings, and his teaching helps them understand its message. In his view, ACIM makes more concessions to the separate self. And he adds that there are no levels of consciousness, only levels of mind.
A man asks whether the experience of being is within the scope of our limited faculties of perception. Rupert replies that there is only one experience we have that is not subject to the limitations of thought and perception: the experience of being. He explains this through a metaphor of a Turner painting, where the full moon seems like an object but is actually the only part of the white paper that has not been painted, representing how the experience of being is not filtered by the mind but shines through it.