Establish a Relationship in Death from the media The Joy of Being
A woman asks, if, when she dies, will she be able to reach her daughter who has passed? Rupert suggests that it's more important for her daughter to be able to reach her. And the way to establish that is to have her in your heart, so that she always has access to her mother in her heart. Rupert speaks of his relationship with his mother who had recently passed. But you want her, your daughter, to reach you, the mother.
- Duration: 3 minutes and 51 seconds
- Recorded on: Oct 23, 2023
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Mercy Center, CA – 22nd to 29th October
A question is asked about surrender and how it relates to the ego. Rupert responds that the ultimate surrender is simply being. In the early stages, it's something that the ego practices, but it leaves the ego intact. It's not the ego that surrenders, it is the ego that is surrendered, by simply being.
A woman asks about purpose, and if she is just being, do her actions in life matter? Rupert responds that your highest purpose is just being. The greatest contribution you can make to society is to become established in your true being. That is how to live the understanding.
A woman, who has health challenges, asks about the suffering she experiences as a result of those challenges. She asks which path to choose for healing. Rupert replies that to heal means 'to make whole', so the ultimate healing is to find that which is whole within you. The true meaning of health is to make whole.
A man asks, how do you distinguish between when you are acting with or dealing with self or ego, and awareness? Rupert's response is to always go for the awareness of being. Never focus on your anxiety or your loneliness and so on. Always go for the awareness of being.
A woman expresses her gratitude to Rupert for helping her with a sorrow that had plagued her for fifty years. Rupert elaborates that the purpose of the teaching is to put an end to the questions, and to the teaching.
A woman asks, if, when she dies, will she be able to reach her daughter who has passed? Rupert suggests that it's more important for her daughter to be able to reach her. And the way to establish that is to have her in your heart, so that she always has access to her mother in her heart. Rupert speaks of his relationship with his mother who had recently passed. But you want her, your daughter, to reach you, the mother.
A woman speaks of a powerful surge of energy she has experienced throughout her life, which has caused her to feel suicidal. Rupert replies that this has been the experience of unusual mental phenomena. He says they are not spiritually significant, not significant to what we do here. Our being is prior to all experience, and remains untouched by it, regardless of how intense it may seem.
A man says he is surprised to have scepticism come up during this retreat. He asks how to get past it and know effectively that this teaching is true. Rupert responds that he can be quite sure that the teaching won't help you. The teaching and the teacher are the final disappointment. It's good if you're disappointed on the second day of retreat. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry to help him to discover his true nature.
A woman describes being established in aware presence on a certain day and time, and asks about possible physical symptoms. She expresses her gratitude and condolences on the loss of his mother to Rupert. Rupert thanks her and speaks of the passing of his mother.
A woman asks about the experience of love in the understanding, as she experiences just this isness. She describes her experience of realisation and wonders where the feeling of love comes from where there is no sense of duality. Rupert responds that there is absolutely no reason to love someone. Love is simply the recognition of our shared being. There is no I or you in love. Love is.
A question is asked about feelings, and the realisation that they just happen and how they happen in relationship to other people. She says she is not the one who has the feeling, and if so, everything happens just as it happens. Rupert agrees, the story and feeling happen.
A woman describes certain awakening experiences and the sense that she will lose something, though she's not sure what it is. Rupert responds that all she will lose is sorrow and agitation. And she wonders about the attachment to negative states. You keep everything else; your experience and love of the world. Those are all the garments that you wear and continue to wear. You just see that they are not who you are. Your being is not attached to anything, like the space in the room in which people come and go with no attachment on the part of the room. Being is free.
What is to be done about picking everything up again after recognition? Rupert says it's fine to pick it all up again, just don't believe that it is who you are.
A woman asks about Rupert's mother's last words to him. Rupert responds that she said, 'God bless you, my beloved.' A silence ensues, which leads the questioner to ask about the personal aspect of that expression. Rupert continues that the form that the expression takes is unique as is all our expressions of love, but the love itself is always the same. Love itself is the nature of being.
A man asks about inanimate objects and how we love them. Rupert responds that when love filters through the relationship between people, we call that love, when it shines in an object, we call that beauty.
A man says it seems as if there is something behind the knowing, such as when we are in deep sleep, and asks if one ever has certainty of what this is? Rupert suggests that the something that you know rises and falls, but the knowing itself is always there, always the same. He further elaborates on the states of sleep, deep sleep and waking. Deep sleep is the primary conditon.
A man asks about the relationship between mind and heart, and about the experience of being aware of being aware. He finds it difficult to align that with deep sleep and peace and joy. Rupert replies that the awareness of peace and joy in the waking state comes about when the agitation of the mind and heart subsides. Being shines through, so in contrast to that agitation, we refer to it as peace. But that contrast doesn't exist in deep sleep, so we don't refer to it as peace. Deep sleep is not a state that alternates with waking and dreaming, it is the ever-present background.
A man says it appears as if he's never asleep, always awake. Rupert says yes, it is like the sun saying it's always shining, so yes it is correct to say that you are always awake. Consciousness never goes through any states.
Rupert speaks of the joy of being, and quotes William Blake.
A woman describes an experience she had during the pandemic, in which she enjoyed going out into nature. Rupert suggests that when she went out into nature she was liberated from the sense of confinement. Our senses can be a portal of expansion in that way.
A woman asks for clarification on the analogy of the red and blue and the white of the paper. Rupert elaborates that the appearance of the red and blue which are states, seem to fragment the white of the background. He further explains the concept of turiya, which is beyond the red, blue and white. The error in perception of states comes from mistaking the white as a temporary state.
A question is asked about surrender and how it relates to the ego. Rupert responds that the ultimate surrender is simply being. In the early stages, it's something that the ego practices, but it leaves the ego intact. It's not the ego that surrenders, it is the ego that is surrendered, by simply being.
A woman asks about purpose, and if she is just being, do her actions in life matter? Rupert responds that your highest purpose is just being. The greatest contribution you can make to society is to become established in your true being. That is how to live the understanding.
A woman, who has health challenges, asks about the suffering she experiences as a result of those challenges. She asks which path to choose for healing. Rupert replies that to heal means 'to make whole', so the ultimate healing is to find that which is whole within you. The true meaning of health is to make whole.
A man asks, how do you distinguish between when you are acting with or dealing with self or ego, and awareness? Rupert's response is to always go for the awareness of being. Never focus on your anxiety or your loneliness and so on. Always go for the awareness of being.
A woman expresses her gratitude to Rupert for helping her with a sorrow that had plagued her for fifty years. Rupert elaborates that the purpose of the teaching is to put an end to the questions, and to the teaching.
A woman asks, if, when she dies, will she be able to reach her daughter who has passed? Rupert suggests that it's more important for her daughter to be able to reach her. And the way to establish that is to have her in your heart, so that she always has access to her mother in her heart. Rupert speaks of his relationship with his mother who had recently passed. But you want her, your daughter, to reach you, the mother.
A woman speaks of a powerful surge of energy she has experienced throughout her life, which has caused her to feel suicidal. Rupert replies that this has been the experience of unusual mental phenomena. He says they are not spiritually significant, not significant to what we do here. Our being is prior to all experience, and remains untouched by it, regardless of how intense it may seem.
A man says he is surprised to have scepticism come up during this retreat. He asks how to get past it and know effectively that this teaching is true. Rupert responds that he can be quite sure that the teaching won't help you. The teaching and the teacher are the final disappointment. It's good if you're disappointed on the second day of retreat. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry to help him to discover his true nature.
A woman describes being established in aware presence on a certain day and time, and asks about possible physical symptoms. She expresses her gratitude and condolences on the loss of his mother to Rupert. Rupert thanks her and speaks of the passing of his mother.
A woman asks about the experience of love in the understanding, as she experiences just this isness. She describes her experience of realisation and wonders where the feeling of love comes from where there is no sense of duality. Rupert responds that there is absolutely no reason to love someone. Love is simply the recognition of our shared being. There is no I or you in love. Love is.
A question is asked about feelings, and the realisation that they just happen and how they happen in relationship to other people. She says she is not the one who has the feeling, and if so, everything happens just as it happens. Rupert agrees, the story and feeling happen.
A woman describes certain awakening experiences and the sense that she will lose something, though she's not sure what it is. Rupert responds that all she will lose is sorrow and agitation. And she wonders about the attachment to negative states. You keep everything else; your experience and love of the world. Those are all the garments that you wear and continue to wear. You just see that they are not who you are. Your being is not attached to anything, like the space in the room in which people come and go with no attachment on the part of the room. Being is free.
What is to be done about picking everything up again after recognition? Rupert says it's fine to pick it all up again, just don't believe that it is who you are.
A woman asks about Rupert's mother's last words to him. Rupert responds that she said, 'God bless you, my beloved.' A silence ensues, which leads the questioner to ask about the personal aspect of that expression. Rupert continues that the form that the expression takes is unique as is all our expressions of love, but the love itself is always the same. Love itself is the nature of being.
A man asks about inanimate objects and how we love them. Rupert responds that when love filters through the relationship between people, we call that love, when it shines in an object, we call that beauty.
A man says it seems as if there is something behind the knowing, such as when we are in deep sleep, and asks if one ever has certainty of what this is? Rupert suggests that the something that you know rises and falls, but the knowing itself is always there, always the same. He further elaborates on the states of sleep, deep sleep and waking. Deep sleep is the primary conditon.
A man asks about the relationship between mind and heart, and about the experience of being aware of being aware. He finds it difficult to align that with deep sleep and peace and joy. Rupert replies that the awareness of peace and joy in the waking state comes about when the agitation of the mind and heart subsides. Being shines through, so in contrast to that agitation, we refer to it as peace. But that contrast doesn't exist in deep sleep, so we don't refer to it as peace. Deep sleep is not a state that alternates with waking and dreaming, it is the ever-present background.
A man says it appears as if he's never asleep, always awake. Rupert says yes, it is like the sun saying it's always shining, so yes it is correct to say that you are always awake. Consciousness never goes through any states.
Rupert speaks of the joy of being, and quotes William Blake.
A woman describes an experience she had during the pandemic, in which she enjoyed going out into nature. Rupert suggests that when she went out into nature she was liberated from the sense of confinement. Our senses can be a portal of expansion in that way.
A woman asks for clarification on the analogy of the red and blue and the white of the paper. Rupert elaborates that the appearance of the red and blue which are states, seem to fragment the white of the background. He further explains the concept of turiya, which is beyond the red, blue and white. The error in perception of states comes from mistaking the white as a temporary state.