Confusion Regarding Masculinity from the media Silently Describing Being
A man relates feeling partly stuck in boyhood and describes societal confusion regarding toxic masculinity and weak male presence. Rupert shares his own experience in a boys’ boarding school, which gave him a distorted view of masculinity, and he reassures the man that he is not alone. Rupert mentions having learned a great deal from many men in the community, who can model how to be strong, powerful and creative while also being soft, open and vulnerable. He encourages the man to stay connected with the group.
- Duration: 5 minutes and 9 seconds
- Recorded on: Sep 12, 2024
- Event: Seven-Day Meditation Retreat at Mandali – 7 to 14 September 2024
A woman who has recovered from breast cancer shares her experience and reflects on her children’s fear of losing her during her illness. She asks about the deeper aspects of healing beyond physical recovery. Rupert says that while practical methods like exercise and staying hydrated are important, the ultimate healing is moving from what is fragmented in us to what is whole. And the greatest gift she can give her children is to demonstrate inner peace, even in the face of illness and the possibility of death.
A man asks how imagination, creativity and ingenuity – activities of the finite mind – can be upgraded to serve infinite consciousness. Rupert replies that although infinite consciousness, in contrast to suffering and anxiety, has no inherent qualities, we can describe it as peace and happiness. Activities that express love, peace and happiness bring the inherent qualities of infinite consciousness into the world.
A woman feels challenged by not being the only focus of her partner’s life because of his two children from a previous relationship. Rupert explains that her deep sense of wellbeing comes from herself, not her partner’s attention. He advises her to let her partner go completely and encourage him to give love and attention to his children. By doing so, she will receive more than she ever imagined, and it will repay her in their relationship and with the children.
A man recalls earlier experiences with non-duality and his time with various teachers, which brought him joy and enthusiasm. However, he now feels that joy has faded because of life circumstances. Rupert explains that after the initial excitement of non-duality fades, it becomes a natural state marked by quiet peace rather than bliss. He likens this to a gravity well of peace that gently calls one inward throughout the day. Outside of retreats, he adds, he rarely speaks of non-duality, as his life has returned to simplicity and peace.
A woman asks if, in the biblical story of paradise, Adam and Eve were in a state of pure beingness, and if their eating from the Tree of Knowledge caused the ‘I am’ to become qualified, representing the fall. She then asks where the serpent fits in the analogy. Rupert suggests the snake is the temptation to let the ‘I am’ become conditioned by experience, turning into ‘I am this or that’. Quoting Blake’s ‘Eternity is in love with the productions of time’, he suggests that the tendency to manifest is inherent in awareness; otherwise, there would be no Shakti, only Shiva at rest.
A woman asks how to live the realisation of ‘I am’ as she continues to evolve, without falling back into a sense of becoming. Rupert explains that consciousness itself does not expand, but, through substances or meditation techniques, the mind can expand. However, if she wants peace, she should simply go to her being and rest there.
A woman who has long felt deeply attached to her personal history, relates her first experience of nothingness during a meditation earlier that day. She describes it as an erasure of that personal history, and asks if the fear she felt afterward means she is dissociating or losing her mind. Rupert, hesitant to add to her description, reassures her that the fear is her old identity feeling threatened by the experience, and that she will be fine.
A man relates feeling partly stuck in boyhood and describes societal confusion regarding toxic masculinity and weak male presence. Rupert shares his own experience in a boys’ boarding school, which gave him a distorted view of masculinity, and he reassures the man that he is not alone. Rupert mentions having learned a great deal from many men in the community, who can model how to be strong, powerful and creative while also being soft, open and vulnerable. He encourages the man to stay connected with the group.
A woman says she understands the nature of being intellectually but lacks a felt sense of oneness. Rupert asks if she has ever experienced or longed for love and how she knew what to long for. He suggests that to long for something, one must know what it tastes like. He then guides her to see that she already knows friendship, an expression of oneness, which is also called love.
A woman says she senses her being in her surroundings and experiences – e.g., in her enjoying the Olympics or wondering at her response to unpleasant things. She asks Rupert if this perspective is correct. Rupert confirms, explaining that one way we could describe love, our shared being, is the capacity to enter into another person as if one were them, a total identifying with them.
A man describes his experience of being – sensations of his body vibrating, becoming blurry and dissolving, and a feeling of expansion in the back of his head. He asks if, for comparison, Rupert can relate his own experience. Rupert notes that these extraordinary, unusual experiences are related to meditating but have nothing to do with awareness. He then goes silent, during which he is silently describing his experience of being to the man.
A man expresses his gratitude for the week and asks about the mystery. Rupert explains that reality cannot be known as it is through thinking and perceiving. The best the human mind can say about reality is, ‘I don’t know’. He adds that God is a mystery for the mind, and the world is a complete mystery for God.
A man expresses difficulty accepting that God needs a mind to experience anything. Couldn’t God directly access the world without standing apart from it. Rupert explains that objective knowledge requires separation and that God, being non-localised and infinite, cannot stand apart from itself. Thus, God cannot have objective experience; it remains beyond all subject-object relationships.
A woman asks for guidance regarding the process of self-enquiry, such as asking: ‘Who is the one that sees?’ Rupert explains that when the mind asks, ‘Who am I really?’ it becomes redundant, and the mind resists this. It may try to answer with various statements, but he advises pausing and staying with the question. He acknowledges that this can be uncomfortable and that the mind will resist, urging the woman to be courageous.
A woman who has recovered from breast cancer shares her experience and reflects on her children’s fear of losing her during her illness. She asks about the deeper aspects of healing beyond physical recovery. Rupert says that while practical methods like exercise and staying hydrated are important, the ultimate healing is moving from what is fragmented in us to what is whole. And the greatest gift she can give her children is to demonstrate inner peace, even in the face of illness and the possibility of death.
A man asks how imagination, creativity and ingenuity – activities of the finite mind – can be upgraded to serve infinite consciousness. Rupert replies that although infinite consciousness, in contrast to suffering and anxiety, has no inherent qualities, we can describe it as peace and happiness. Activities that express love, peace and happiness bring the inherent qualities of infinite consciousness into the world.
A woman feels challenged by not being the only focus of her partner’s life because of his two children from a previous relationship. Rupert explains that her deep sense of wellbeing comes from herself, not her partner’s attention. He advises her to let her partner go completely and encourage him to give love and attention to his children. By doing so, she will receive more than she ever imagined, and it will repay her in their relationship and with the children.
A man recalls earlier experiences with non-duality and his time with various teachers, which brought him joy and enthusiasm. However, he now feels that joy has faded because of life circumstances. Rupert explains that after the initial excitement of non-duality fades, it becomes a natural state marked by quiet peace rather than bliss. He likens this to a gravity well of peace that gently calls one inward throughout the day. Outside of retreats, he adds, he rarely speaks of non-duality, as his life has returned to simplicity and peace.
A woman asks if, in the biblical story of paradise, Adam and Eve were in a state of pure beingness, and if their eating from the Tree of Knowledge caused the ‘I am’ to become qualified, representing the fall. She then asks where the serpent fits in the analogy. Rupert suggests the snake is the temptation to let the ‘I am’ become conditioned by experience, turning into ‘I am this or that’. Quoting Blake’s ‘Eternity is in love with the productions of time’, he suggests that the tendency to manifest is inherent in awareness; otherwise, there would be no Shakti, only Shiva at rest.
A woman asks how to live the realisation of ‘I am’ as she continues to evolve, without falling back into a sense of becoming. Rupert explains that consciousness itself does not expand, but, through substances or meditation techniques, the mind can expand. However, if she wants peace, she should simply go to her being and rest there.
A woman who has long felt deeply attached to her personal history, relates her first experience of nothingness during a meditation earlier that day. She describes it as an erasure of that personal history, and asks if the fear she felt afterward means she is dissociating or losing her mind. Rupert, hesitant to add to her description, reassures her that the fear is her old identity feeling threatened by the experience, and that she will be fine.
A man relates feeling partly stuck in boyhood and describes societal confusion regarding toxic masculinity and weak male presence. Rupert shares his own experience in a boys’ boarding school, which gave him a distorted view of masculinity, and he reassures the man that he is not alone. Rupert mentions having learned a great deal from many men in the community, who can model how to be strong, powerful and creative while also being soft, open and vulnerable. He encourages the man to stay connected with the group.
A woman says she understands the nature of being intellectually but lacks a felt sense of oneness. Rupert asks if she has ever experienced or longed for love and how she knew what to long for. He suggests that to long for something, one must know what it tastes like. He then guides her to see that she already knows friendship, an expression of oneness, which is also called love.
A woman says she senses her being in her surroundings and experiences – e.g., in her enjoying the Olympics or wondering at her response to unpleasant things. She asks Rupert if this perspective is correct. Rupert confirms, explaining that one way we could describe love, our shared being, is the capacity to enter into another person as if one were them, a total identifying with them.
A man describes his experience of being – sensations of his body vibrating, becoming blurry and dissolving, and a feeling of expansion in the back of his head. He asks if, for comparison, Rupert can relate his own experience. Rupert notes that these extraordinary, unusual experiences are related to meditating but have nothing to do with awareness. He then goes silent, during which he is silently describing his experience of being to the man.
A man expresses his gratitude for the week and asks about the mystery. Rupert explains that reality cannot be known as it is through thinking and perceiving. The best the human mind can say about reality is, ‘I don’t know’. He adds that God is a mystery for the mind, and the world is a complete mystery for God.
A man expresses difficulty accepting that God needs a mind to experience anything. Couldn’t God directly access the world without standing apart from it. Rupert explains that objective knowledge requires separation and that God, being non-localised and infinite, cannot stand apart from itself. Thus, God cannot have objective experience; it remains beyond all subject-object relationships.
A woman asks for guidance regarding the process of self-enquiry, such as asking: ‘Who is the one that sees?’ Rupert explains that when the mind asks, ‘Who am I really?’ it becomes redundant, and the mind resists this. It may try to answer with various statements, but he advises pausing and staying with the question. He acknowledges that this can be uncomfortable and that the mind will resist, urging the woman to be courageous.