A Discussion on Desire, Ice Cream and Sex from the media Being Outshines Appearances
A man asks a question about desire, such as for ice cream or sex. Rupert delineates three reasons for such desires: either you're hungry, or it comes from from a sense of lack and hoping for fulfilment in the object, or from a place of overlowing love. In the case of sex, it also may come from a desire to have a child.
- Duration: 2 minutes and 53 seconds
- Recorded on: Oct 9, 2023
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Garrison Institute – 8th to 15th October
A question is asked about embodiment, and integrating this understanding into one's difficult life. It seems almost blasphemous to improve oneself. Why is this effort necessary? Rupert responds that it is fine just to be free and easy and celebrate life.
A man asks how to maintain this understanding during everyday life, which seems to shut this awareness down, making it impossible to live the understanding. Rupert responds that it's easy during a retreat and harder in the world because the circumstances of the retreat are maximised to call attention to being. Experience is designed to do the opposite; the world is screaming for your attention, so to pay attention to the content of experience. As understanding is integrated, it gets easier and easier and fewer experiences have the power to take you away from yourself, and there is more love to spend time in and as your being.
A question is asked about a person's being as a subset of being. Rupert responds that there is no subset, you are not a subset. There is only one being, God's being. There is no other being.
A man asks about the idea of being outshining appearance. Rupert uses the movie and screen analogy to describe how the movie seems to obscure the screen until you remember that you're watching a movie. After a while, you realise that you are only seeing the screen, thus the screen outshines the movie, which is likened to the content of experience. In everyday life, experience outshines being; in meditation, being outshines experience.
A woman, in relation to Rupert's comments about his mother who died recently, ask what it means that there is only one being? Rupert responds that his mother's self is the same as his self, as are all other beings. The reason we love another person is because that relationship takes us to the one reality.
A woman, who is a hospice doctor, wishes to articulate her near-death experience to her patients. She describes similar experiences during meditation, and the emptiness of self. Rupert responds that there is awareness of that nothingness, and can speak of it, so it cannot be nothing. Awareness is not a thing, but it is not nothing. It's not that there is no self, but the self of infinite being is the only self there is. He relates the metaphor of John Smith and King Lear to the question of self and no self and practice.
A man asks why the pull of mediocrity is so strong. He references our attraction to ice cream and fast cars. Rupert asks, when you want ice cream, what is it you really want? The delicious taste. Why? Because your desire is then brought to an end and being will shine. This is what you seek in the ice cream and all objects. You are being pulled to taste your own being.
A man, who is new to Advaita, is having trouble accessing the purest form of being. Rupert elaborates that in the awareness of being, there is no presence of a separate self, which is a mixture of pure being and the limitations of experience. This mixture creates the appearance of a separate self. John Smith, plus a series of thoughts and feelings, creates an appearance of King Lear.
A woman describes experiencing the death of her father, and, referencing near-death experiences, asks if her father continues in some way. Rupert relates an experience with his mother where he realised that she was not aware of dying. He then speaks of the reverse process of delocalisation from localisation of consciousness. There is reason to believe that her father's mind continues in some form.
A woman asks to validate her understanding and is it a matter of forgetting and then realigning yourself with being? Rupert responds that it's not so much realigning as recognising yourself as infinite being. The origin of the word 'recognise' is 'to remember again'. He guides her in self-enquiry to help her validate her understanding of her being as infinite.
A question is asked about where memories are stored in the body-mind. Rupert's response is 'I don't know.'
A man asks for further information about perceiving and sensing. Rupert speaks of sensations of the body are the way we experience the world on the inside, such as pain or the temperature of the room. Perceptions – sights, sounds, tastes, touch and smell – are the way we experience the world on the outside. Thoughts and images constitute the mind.
A woman asks about connection with others and how to see beyond the personality to recognise the being? Rupert suggests thinking of the quality of the space in various rooms, and that ultimately there is no difference in the space. Think of others in the same way.
A man says he has a glimpse of his true nature and, at times, feels at one with all things, but he doesn't feel the love or the 'shining' of which Rupert speaks. Rupert suggests thinking in terms of friendship, rather than love. The nature of your being is peaceful and ordinary. That's love.
A man says he has been working with the mind and knowing his peaceful nature, and he notices that the mind still seeks something experiential or a subtle object. He wonders what the mind wants in trying to escape and make things better. Rupert responds that the mind is always trying to bring itself to an end. Nature provides moments that allow this to happen, but they pass unnoticed, and the mind doesn't get the peace it seeks, so it seeks new and more experiences for the sole purpose of bringing itself to an end.
A man asks if his relationship with his mother the same whilst she's alive, as it is when she's dying. Rupert responds 'yes'. The question then becomes 'is grief necessary?'. Rupert suggests that if you've had a longtime relationship, such as with a parent or a partner, death presents a change. Your being is not changed, but something has been removed, and grief is the appropriate response to that. It is an expression of love.
A question is asked about the aspects of being that are impersonal, that doesn't manifest in friendship and community. Rupert elaborates that those activities are not necessarily activities of the separate self and can be engaged in without a belief in separation.
A question is asked about embodiment and transfiguration. Rupert replies that in embodiment, there is an attempt to bring the infinite down to the relative level, and with transfiguration, it is the opposite, bringing the relative closer to the absolute.
A man asks a question about desire, such as for ice cream or sex. Rupert delineates three reasons for such desires: either you're hungry, or it comes from from a sense of lack and hoping for fulfilment in the object, or from a place of overlowing love. In the case of sex, it also may come from a desire to have a child.
A woman with a history of depression felt her depression lifted by the sight a beautiful tree, which she attributes to the colour green. She opines about the significance of colour in the teaching. Rupert fully agrees; every colour has a certain frequency or vibration and this informs the way you dress and decorate your home.
A question is asked about embodiment, and integrating this understanding into one's difficult life. It seems almost blasphemous to improve oneself. Why is this effort necessary? Rupert responds that it is fine just to be free and easy and celebrate life.
A man asks how to maintain this understanding during everyday life, which seems to shut this awareness down, making it impossible to live the understanding. Rupert responds that it's easy during a retreat and harder in the world because the circumstances of the retreat are maximised to call attention to being. Experience is designed to do the opposite; the world is screaming for your attention, so to pay attention to the content of experience. As understanding is integrated, it gets easier and easier and fewer experiences have the power to take you away from yourself, and there is more love to spend time in and as your being.
A question is asked about a person's being as a subset of being. Rupert responds that there is no subset, you are not a subset. There is only one being, God's being. There is no other being.
A man asks about the idea of being outshining appearance. Rupert uses the movie and screen analogy to describe how the movie seems to obscure the screen until you remember that you're watching a movie. After a while, you realise that you are only seeing the screen, thus the screen outshines the movie, which is likened to the content of experience. In everyday life, experience outshines being; in meditation, being outshines experience.
A woman, in relation to Rupert's comments about his mother who died recently, ask what it means that there is only one being? Rupert responds that his mother's self is the same as his self, as are all other beings. The reason we love another person is because that relationship takes us to the one reality.
A woman, who is a hospice doctor, wishes to articulate her near-death experience to her patients. She describes similar experiences during meditation, and the emptiness of self. Rupert responds that there is awareness of that nothingness, and can speak of it, so it cannot be nothing. Awareness is not a thing, but it is not nothing. It's not that there is no self, but the self of infinite being is the only self there is. He relates the metaphor of John Smith and King Lear to the question of self and no self and practice.
A man asks why the pull of mediocrity is so strong. He references our attraction to ice cream and fast cars. Rupert asks, when you want ice cream, what is it you really want? The delicious taste. Why? Because your desire is then brought to an end and being will shine. This is what you seek in the ice cream and all objects. You are being pulled to taste your own being.
A man, who is new to Advaita, is having trouble accessing the purest form of being. Rupert elaborates that in the awareness of being, there is no presence of a separate self, which is a mixture of pure being and the limitations of experience. This mixture creates the appearance of a separate self. John Smith, plus a series of thoughts and feelings, creates an appearance of King Lear.
A woman describes experiencing the death of her father, and, referencing near-death experiences, asks if her father continues in some way. Rupert relates an experience with his mother where he realised that she was not aware of dying. He then speaks of the reverse process of delocalisation from localisation of consciousness. There is reason to believe that her father's mind continues in some form.
A woman asks to validate her understanding and is it a matter of forgetting and then realigning yourself with being? Rupert responds that it's not so much realigning as recognising yourself as infinite being. The origin of the word 'recognise' is 'to remember again'. He guides her in self-enquiry to help her validate her understanding of her being as infinite.
A question is asked about where memories are stored in the body-mind. Rupert's response is 'I don't know.'
A man asks for further information about perceiving and sensing. Rupert speaks of sensations of the body are the way we experience the world on the inside, such as pain or the temperature of the room. Perceptions – sights, sounds, tastes, touch and smell – are the way we experience the world on the outside. Thoughts and images constitute the mind.
A woman asks about connection with others and how to see beyond the personality to recognise the being? Rupert suggests thinking of the quality of the space in various rooms, and that ultimately there is no difference in the space. Think of others in the same way.
A man says he has a glimpse of his true nature and, at times, feels at one with all things, but he doesn't feel the love or the 'shining' of which Rupert speaks. Rupert suggests thinking in terms of friendship, rather than love. The nature of your being is peaceful and ordinary. That's love.
A man says he has been working with the mind and knowing his peaceful nature, and he notices that the mind still seeks something experiential or a subtle object. He wonders what the mind wants in trying to escape and make things better. Rupert responds that the mind is always trying to bring itself to an end. Nature provides moments that allow this to happen, but they pass unnoticed, and the mind doesn't get the peace it seeks, so it seeks new and more experiences for the sole purpose of bringing itself to an end.
A man asks if his relationship with his mother the same whilst she's alive, as it is when she's dying. Rupert responds 'yes'. The question then becomes 'is grief necessary?'. Rupert suggests that if you've had a longtime relationship, such as with a parent or a partner, death presents a change. Your being is not changed, but something has been removed, and grief is the appropriate response to that. It is an expression of love.
A question is asked about the aspects of being that are impersonal, that doesn't manifest in friendship and community. Rupert elaborates that those activities are not necessarily activities of the separate self and can be engaged in without a belief in separation.
A question is asked about embodiment and transfiguration. Rupert replies that in embodiment, there is an attempt to bring the infinite down to the relative level, and with transfiguration, it is the opposite, bringing the relative closer to the absolute.
A man asks a question about desire, such as for ice cream or sex. Rupert delineates three reasons for such desires: either you're hungry, or it comes from from a sense of lack and hoping for fulfilment in the object, or from a place of overlowing love. In the case of sex, it also may come from a desire to have a child.
A woman with a history of depression felt her depression lifted by the sight a beautiful tree, which she attributes to the colour green. She opines about the significance of colour in the teaching. Rupert fully agrees; every colour has a certain frequency or vibration and this informs the way you dress and decorate your home.