Grief Is the Face of Love from the media You Are the Happiness You Seek
A woman relays the loss of a family member and says she feels like her grief feels stuck now that he’s gone. Rupert suggests that grief is the face of love. It is how love expresses itself when we lose someone. Gradually, the veiling power of grief and its essence, love, shines.
- Duration: 6 minutes and 44 seconds
- Recorded on: Mar 25, 2022
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Mercy Center, CA – 18th to 25th March
Having started the retreat by reading the introduction to 'You Are the Happiness You Seek', Rupert reads from the last chapter of the book, entitled 'An Invitation'.
A man comments that perhaps given the dire straits of the world, it is not a mistake that the title to Rupert's latest book, ‘You Are the Happiness You Seek’, was printed in black, although it was supposed to have been printed in dark grey.
A woman asks if her sense of separate self dissolves and she recognises being and becomes more loving, is that evolution. Rupert suggests that it is an evolution of the mind and clarifies that we don’t have to dissolve our separate self to recognise our true nature. It’s the other way around. An inevitable consequence of recognising our true nature, the sense of separation beings to dissolve. Don’t work on the separate self. Being doesn’t evolve, but our mind and behaviour does.
A woman asks, ‘Does a thought come from the body-mind?’ and ‘Where is my mind?’ Rupert responds that a thought doesn’t come from the body-mind. The mind is thought and perception. It is not an entity that generates them. The mind is just a word that describes thoughts and perceptions. Our mind doesn’t exist in a location. It is thought and perception that brings about that sense of location.
A woman asks about the Ukraine War and its reality. Rupert responds that there is nothing that is not real. What would be the status of something that is not real? In our culture we believe that reality means a thing is physical, made of matter. Whatever the world is, it is real. The Ukraine war is real; the beach we dream of at night is real. There is a reality to experience: our mind. Our mind is something that is real; its reality is consciousness.
A man references an earlier question about solipsism where Wordsworth was quoted as saying ‘reality is half perceived, half created’. Rupert clarifies that our minds filter reality, but reality is prior to: God’s infinite being. He adds that solipsism is a slippery slope.
A man asks Rupert about the unfolding of the understanding and therapy. Rupert suggests that there can be a place for therapy both on the recognition of our true nature, as well as on the never-ending path after the recognition in which we realign the way we think, feel, act and relate.
A woman encourages Rupert to make sure Ellen is on board with a community centre. Rupert says that when we are dreaming or conceiving wer should keep it open and large. If we dream it small, we compel the universe to comply. If the desire is impersonal – informed by love and understanding – we compel the universe to respond accordingly.
A woman relays the loss of a family member and says she feels like her grief feels stuck now that he’s gone. Rupert suggests that grief is the face of love. It is how love expresses itself when we lose someone. Gradually, the veiling power of grief and its essence, love, shines.
A woman references a comment Rupert made about the continuance of love after death of loved ones. She expresses how she now feels that she has an ongoing and deepening relationship with her husband and son, who died several years ago.
A woman with a fear of driving on the highway knows that it’s limiting her and asks for insight. Rupert mentions the movie Free Solo, a man who climbed without ropes. He said that this man rehearsed it with ropes to learn the climb and faced his fear, which then diminished. Rupert recommends rehearsing the route with an instructor, over and over again.
A woman relays a story of having to remove life support from her husband and her experience of grief, and she wonders if she should have done anything differently for a miracle. Rupert suggests that the real miracle that happens when someone dies is the feeling that we never really separate.
Rupert tells a man who is translating the poem ‘I Am’ into Chinese that hearing the poem read in Chinese was wonderful and that without understanding the language the feeling of it came through.
A man who is translating the poem ‘I Am’ into Chinese asks about the lines: ‘I break open the body and spread it across the world; I break open a world and hold it dismembered in my heart. Rupert says these lines reference his yoga meditations where we explore the whole world as our body, but then we take it all back into our self, and the world exists in us.
A man references Rupert saying that awareness, which is inherently changeless, vibrates. He asks if it really vibrates or is that just how the limited mind perceives it. Rupert says that the word ‘vibrate’ is a way of trying to express, in the terms of the finite mind, how something which is changeless, silent, still, motionless, can appear as all this diversity and movement. It is a way of trying to help us visualise this activity. Don't take it literally; take it evocatively.
A man asks about what to do when we find ourself seeking happiness in the world, after saying that he had felt hurt by a response Rupert gave to a previous question. Rupert references Balynani who said, ‘What we speak of here cannot be found by seeking, and yet only seekers find it.’ Either take the Tantric approach and completely open yourself to the emotion or, alternatively, investigate the one that is hurt.
Before saying goodbye, Rupert thanks Sonny, George and the team behind the scenes. He recognises Francesca, saying it is hard to find the words for what she does and how she does it.
Having started the retreat by reading the introduction to 'You Are the Happiness You Seek', Rupert reads from the last chapter of the book, entitled 'An Invitation'.
A man comments that perhaps given the dire straits of the world, it is not a mistake that the title to Rupert's latest book, ‘You Are the Happiness You Seek’, was printed in black, although it was supposed to have been printed in dark grey.
A woman asks if her sense of separate self dissolves and she recognises being and becomes more loving, is that evolution. Rupert suggests that it is an evolution of the mind and clarifies that we don’t have to dissolve our separate self to recognise our true nature. It’s the other way around. An inevitable consequence of recognising our true nature, the sense of separation beings to dissolve. Don’t work on the separate self. Being doesn’t evolve, but our mind and behaviour does.
A woman asks, ‘Does a thought come from the body-mind?’ and ‘Where is my mind?’ Rupert responds that a thought doesn’t come from the body-mind. The mind is thought and perception. It is not an entity that generates them. The mind is just a word that describes thoughts and perceptions. Our mind doesn’t exist in a location. It is thought and perception that brings about that sense of location.
A woman asks about the Ukraine War and its reality. Rupert responds that there is nothing that is not real. What would be the status of something that is not real? In our culture we believe that reality means a thing is physical, made of matter. Whatever the world is, it is real. The Ukraine war is real; the beach we dream of at night is real. There is a reality to experience: our mind. Our mind is something that is real; its reality is consciousness.
A man references an earlier question about solipsism where Wordsworth was quoted as saying ‘reality is half perceived, half created’. Rupert clarifies that our minds filter reality, but reality is prior to: God’s infinite being. He adds that solipsism is a slippery slope.
A man asks Rupert about the unfolding of the understanding and therapy. Rupert suggests that there can be a place for therapy both on the recognition of our true nature, as well as on the never-ending path after the recognition in which we realign the way we think, feel, act and relate.
A woman encourages Rupert to make sure Ellen is on board with a community centre. Rupert says that when we are dreaming or conceiving wer should keep it open and large. If we dream it small, we compel the universe to comply. If the desire is impersonal – informed by love and understanding – we compel the universe to respond accordingly.
A woman relays the loss of a family member and says she feels like her grief feels stuck now that he’s gone. Rupert suggests that grief is the face of love. It is how love expresses itself when we lose someone. Gradually, the veiling power of grief and its essence, love, shines.
A woman references a comment Rupert made about the continuance of love after death of loved ones. She expresses how she now feels that she has an ongoing and deepening relationship with her husband and son, who died several years ago.
A woman with a fear of driving on the highway knows that it’s limiting her and asks for insight. Rupert mentions the movie Free Solo, a man who climbed without ropes. He said that this man rehearsed it with ropes to learn the climb and faced his fear, which then diminished. Rupert recommends rehearsing the route with an instructor, over and over again.
A woman relays a story of having to remove life support from her husband and her experience of grief, and she wonders if she should have done anything differently for a miracle. Rupert suggests that the real miracle that happens when someone dies is the feeling that we never really separate.
Rupert tells a man who is translating the poem ‘I Am’ into Chinese that hearing the poem read in Chinese was wonderful and that without understanding the language the feeling of it came through.
A man who is translating the poem ‘I Am’ into Chinese asks about the lines: ‘I break open the body and spread it across the world; I break open a world and hold it dismembered in my heart. Rupert says these lines reference his yoga meditations where we explore the whole world as our body, but then we take it all back into our self, and the world exists in us.
A man references Rupert saying that awareness, which is inherently changeless, vibrates. He asks if it really vibrates or is that just how the limited mind perceives it. Rupert says that the word ‘vibrate’ is a way of trying to express, in the terms of the finite mind, how something which is changeless, silent, still, motionless, can appear as all this diversity and movement. It is a way of trying to help us visualise this activity. Don't take it literally; take it evocatively.
A man asks about what to do when we find ourself seeking happiness in the world, after saying that he had felt hurt by a response Rupert gave to a previous question. Rupert references Balynani who said, ‘What we speak of here cannot be found by seeking, and yet only seekers find it.’ Either take the Tantric approach and completely open yourself to the emotion or, alternatively, investigate the one that is hurt.
Before saying goodbye, Rupert thanks Sonny, George and the team behind the scenes. He recognises Francesca, saying it is hard to find the words for what she does and how she does it.