Is Pain an Egoic Defence Mechanism? from the media We Are What We Cannot Think About

A man asks about what is possible for humans if we were to realise who we are and that we share our being. Rupert suggests that the quality of life that we enjoy on retreat is how everyone would live – friendship, poetry, music, conversations, contemplation. A retreat is a microcosm of what’s possible for society.

A woman asks about how to use her passion to bring the understanding to the world. Rupert suggests that it’s not necessary that our passion be an explicit expression of this understanding, but an implicit expression of it. Rupert shares a personal story about his son working at an investment company. Follow your passion, no matter what it is.

A man asks about meditation resting in being. Rupert suggests that we can simply abide in being both in meditation and when moving through our day, in life. Mediation is often considered to be an activity we do; in this understanding, meditation is what we are.

A woman references the ‘second birth’ and asks about casting out relationships. Rupert suggests exposing and dissolving, not necessarily ‘casting out’, as Meister Eckhart said. It is about seeing that we are inherently free and using relationships as a means of sharing the understanding.

A man asks about resistance in the form of thoughts, and how to welcome them. Rupert says in order to resist and welcome something we have to stand apart from it. Welcoming is fine as a halfway step, but ultimately we must merge with it – kiss the toad.

A man asks about the residues of the separate self and whether understanding conditioning helps to dissolve them. Rupert suggests if all we really want is peace, then no. Exploring them may help us to understand family dynamics and so on, but in terms of peace, there is no value in that. Why take such a long route to true nature?

A man wonders about collective egos, like nations and religion. Rupert suggests that a group of people who identify with and act according to that identification, do behave like an ego. Even so-called spiritual organisations behave this way. For instance, those that coalesce around a teacher or tradition can become subtle repositories for ego behaviour and identification.

A man asks how form comes into appearance as the world. Rupert says that what appears to us as the world simply, is. It is perception that brings it into appearance. Rupert uses the metaphor of the screen and movie to elaborate. What the world is in itself is infinite being – the screen – but when being looks at itself through the filter of perception, it refracts the one reality and makes it appear as the many – the movie.

A woman asks if the peace she experiences is from faith. Rupert suggests it is more than faith, it is experience.

A man asks, ‘Is universal mind – consciousness – waking itself up?’ Rupert suggests that we can't really speak meaningfully of universal consciousness waking up to itself because it is pure waking. It is like saying the sun wakes up in the morning. It is only from the limited point of view of the individual that we can speak of waking up. There is nothing for it to wake up from. It is always only itself. For the sun, there is no endarkening or enlightening. The idea of enlightenment is a concession to the separate self.

A woman asks about sharing our being with the dead, as well as the living. Rupert says that what dies is the appearance, not the reality. Grief is the expression of that connection. The love that you felt for him is as strong now as it was when he was alive. It wasn't your loved ones thoughts, feelings, body, history that you loved. It was him. Who was that him? The being that he essentially was, and is. Nothing has happened to his being. Rupert uses the analogy of space and rooms to elaborate. His being didn't die.

A woman asks about projection and reality. Rupert suggests that there is the reality of the world and we project the limitations of our limited perspective on it. The phrase ‘we become what we think about’ is a concession to the apparent separate self. What would be more accurate would be to say, ‘we are what we cannot think about’.

A man asks about extreme pain and resistance that arises. Rupert clarifies that resistance to physical pain is an intelligent response. The man wonders if resistance contributes to the pain. Rupert suggests that if we've done everything we can do to relieve the pain and all that remains is the pain and resistance, then we drop the resistance.

A man asks about all creative expressions. Rupert suggests that it is true that any activity is an expression of consciousness. The reason we always want to be healthy and youthful is because we love our self and we sense the truth of our being, which is eternal.

A man asks about a quote about love. Rupert clarifies that the quote referenced love of an object, not love for itself. In love, the subject and the object dissolves.

A man comments on his wish to be of service. Rupert suggests that the wish comes from the deep intuition of the correct relationship between the individual and the universal. That natural relationship is expressed in our activities as service. It is reality or love expressing itself through the individual.

A woman asks about social anxiety. Rupert suggests that the fact that she’s speaking up in the group means that she is halfway there. Rupert offers her a sadhana – at every meal, she could sit at the table with other people no matter how uncomfortable, feeling free to be however she wants to be there. Let everyone take care of her anxiety.

A woman shares that she has been experiencing lots of emotions and contractions. Rupert suggests that she have an affectionate attitude to these emotions and sensations. Take the attitude to them that one would take toward a child having a difficult time. Don’t get involved with them.

A man asks if awareness accepts everything then what says no to injustice. Rupert suggests that it is the mind that says no, but it does so on behalf of the qualities of being. If the mind witnesses an event that violates love, it rises up and says no. It is not the separate self.

A woman wonders why, if this is the time for the Direct Path, we seem stuck in adolescence. Are we, as a collective, like individuals who grow through crisis? Rupert suggests that it isn't ‘wrong’ that we are ‘stuck’ in adolescence. We have come to this stage and we are showing signs of maturing, but this takes time. Just as suffering leads some to despair and some to transformation, so our society could go in either direction. Ultimately, everything is destined to return to its origin. The river always ends up in the ocean.

A man asks about the relationship between being and the apparent separate self. Rupert suggests that there is a reality to the separate self. Our sense of being ourself is absolutely real. What is not real about it is the limitations we ascribe to it. The mind imagines the limits.

A man asks about what is possible for humans if we were to realise who we are and that we share our being. Rupert suggests that the quality of life that we enjoy on retreat is how everyone would live – friendship, poetry, music, conversations, contemplation. A retreat is a microcosm of what’s possible for society.

A woman asks about how to use her passion to bring the understanding to the world. Rupert suggests that it’s not necessary that our passion be an explicit expression of this understanding, but an implicit expression of it. Rupert shares a personal story about his son working at an investment company. Follow your passion, no matter what it is.

A man asks about meditation resting in being. Rupert suggests that we can simply abide in being both in meditation and when moving through our day, in life. Mediation is often considered to be an activity we do; in this understanding, meditation is what we are.

A woman references the ‘second birth’ and asks about casting out relationships. Rupert suggests exposing and dissolving, not necessarily ‘casting out’, as Meister Eckhart said. It is about seeing that we are inherently free and using relationships as a means of sharing the understanding.

A man asks about resistance in the form of thoughts, and how to welcome them. Rupert says in order to resist and welcome something we have to stand apart from it. Welcoming is fine as a halfway step, but ultimately we must merge with it – kiss the toad.

A man asks about the residues of the separate self and whether understanding conditioning helps to dissolve them. Rupert suggests if all we really want is peace, then no. Exploring them may help us to understand family dynamics and so on, but in terms of peace, there is no value in that. Why take such a long route to true nature?

A man wonders about collective egos, like nations and religion. Rupert suggests that a group of people who identify with and act according to that identification, do behave like an ego. Even so-called spiritual organisations behave this way. For instance, those that coalesce around a teacher or tradition can become subtle repositories for ego behaviour and identification.

A man asks how form comes into appearance as the world. Rupert says that what appears to us as the world simply, is. It is perception that brings it into appearance. Rupert uses the metaphor of the screen and movie to elaborate. What the world is in itself is infinite being – the screen – but when being looks at itself through the filter of perception, it refracts the one reality and makes it appear as the many – the movie.

A woman asks if the peace she experiences is from faith. Rupert suggests it is more than faith, it is experience.

A man asks, ‘Is universal mind – consciousness – waking itself up?’ Rupert suggests that we can't really speak meaningfully of universal consciousness waking up to itself because it is pure waking. It is like saying the sun wakes up in the morning. It is only from the limited point of view of the individual that we can speak of waking up. There is nothing for it to wake up from. It is always only itself. For the sun, there is no endarkening or enlightening. The idea of enlightenment is a concession to the separate self.

A woman asks about sharing our being with the dead, as well as the living. Rupert says that what dies is the appearance, not the reality. Grief is the expression of that connection. The love that you felt for him is as strong now as it was when he was alive. It wasn't your loved ones thoughts, feelings, body, history that you loved. It was him. Who was that him? The being that he essentially was, and is. Nothing has happened to his being. Rupert uses the analogy of space and rooms to elaborate. His being didn't die.

A woman asks about projection and reality. Rupert suggests that there is the reality of the world and we project the limitations of our limited perspective on it. The phrase ‘we become what we think about’ is a concession to the apparent separate self. What would be more accurate would be to say, ‘we are what we cannot think about’.

A man asks about extreme pain and resistance that arises. Rupert clarifies that resistance to physical pain is an intelligent response. The man wonders if resistance contributes to the pain. Rupert suggests that if we've done everything we can do to relieve the pain and all that remains is the pain and resistance, then we drop the resistance.

A man asks about all creative expressions. Rupert suggests that it is true that any activity is an expression of consciousness. The reason we always want to be healthy and youthful is because we love our self and we sense the truth of our being, which is eternal.

A man asks about a quote about love. Rupert clarifies that the quote referenced love of an object, not love for itself. In love, the subject and the object dissolves.

A man comments on his wish to be of service. Rupert suggests that the wish comes from the deep intuition of the correct relationship between the individual and the universal. That natural relationship is expressed in our activities as service. It is reality or love expressing itself through the individual.

A woman asks about social anxiety. Rupert suggests that the fact that she’s speaking up in the group means that she is halfway there. Rupert offers her a sadhana – at every meal, she could sit at the table with other people no matter how uncomfortable, feeling free to be however she wants to be there. Let everyone take care of her anxiety.

A woman shares that she has been experiencing lots of emotions and contractions. Rupert suggests that she have an affectionate attitude to these emotions and sensations. Take the attitude to them that one would take toward a child having a difficult time. Don’t get involved with them.

A man asks if awareness accepts everything then what says no to injustice. Rupert suggests that it is the mind that says no, but it does so on behalf of the qualities of being. If the mind witnesses an event that violates love, it rises up and says no. It is not the separate self.

A woman wonders why, if this is the time for the Direct Path, we seem stuck in adolescence. Are we, as a collective, like individuals who grow through crisis? Rupert suggests that it isn't ‘wrong’ that we are ‘stuck’ in adolescence. We have come to this stage and we are showing signs of maturing, but this takes time. Just as suffering leads some to despair and some to transformation, so our society could go in either direction. Ultimately, everything is destined to return to its origin. The river always ends up in the ocean.

A man asks about the relationship between being and the apparent separate self. Rupert suggests that there is a reality to the separate self. Our sense of being ourself is absolutely real. What is not real about it is the limitations we ascribe to it. The mind imagines the limits.