The Softness of Being from the media The Definition of Love
A man speaks of resting in stillness but says he has not made the connection that he is that stillness. Rupert responds that that realisation will come and there is nothing he needs to do. Just keep connecting with that stillness. Let that understanding come to you rather than reaching for it. We cannot go towards it, but eventually you know this softness of being.
- Duration: 4 minutes and 34 seconds
- Recorded on: May 18, 2023
- Event: Webinar – Thursday 18th May
There are essentially two different types of meditation. The first involves doing; the second involves being. The vast majority of meditation practices involve some kind of controlling or focussing of the mind on an object, such as a mantra, the breath or a flame. Then there is one unique kind of meditation, which should be called a non-meditation, or a non-practice, because it does not require doing anything at all. It requires simply being. Simply being is the ultimate meditation, or prayer, for which all other meditations and prayers are a preparation. As we sink deeply into being, our being loses all the qualities that it has acquired from the content of experience. In sinking into being, we leave behind our turbulent thoughts and agitated feelings, and we sink into the silent depths of our self, into the silent depths of being.
A man asks about the distinction between love and acceptance. Rupert suggests that consciousness is loving; not because it accepts everything into itself but because there is no distinction between itself and everything else. It is the utter absence of duality.
A man asks, ‘What is the definition of love?’ Rupert suggests that the definition of love is the absence of separation, the recognition of our shared being, the oneness of all people and things. The absence of two.
A man asks if love is a feeling. Rupert suggests that the feeling of love is not love, but the echo of a love in our body and mind.
A man asks about Kashmir Shaivism and cosmic energy vibrations. Rupert responds that the spanda is consciousness which vibrates within itself. The vibration of consciousness appears as a universe in form. He elaborates on the primordial sound.
A woman shares her recent difficult experiences of loss and grief. Rupert asks her to refer to her current experience only, not the past or future, and asks, ‘Do you have any problems now?’ She says, ‘No, not at this moment’. Rupert suggests that her practice is to ask herself that question many times throughout the day.
A woman says she wants to 'leave the ocean' due to her unhappiness from being dragged by the current of life. Rupert asks if she needs anything now, to which she responds 'I am sad.' Rupert suggests quietly emphasising the being or ‘I am’ aspect rather than the ‘sad’, which is a temporary colouring of being.
A man shares, that while he intellectually grasps the understanding, he wants to feel it experientially. Rupert leads him in experiencing himself and then suggests that the man was sinking his attention into his being, not intellectualising it.
A man asks about how to consistently experience being. Rupert suggests that our attention is required by the world, and that's fine. However, we need to make sure that we come back to our self in between those times when our attention is required by the world.
A man says that when he experiences being, it only feels like his experience, not a shared one. Rupert suggests that the experience of being has no limits. The limits are derived from the content of experience. Regarding the world, whatever we encounter – tree, car, sun - is. Isness is its fundamental nature.
A man asks about 'subtle references' such as trauma in the body and their dissolution which feels like free fall. Rupert responds that it takes courage to let go of our familiar habits, including trauma and other habitual experiences, which define us as a separate self. All we are letting go of is the belief in separation and the sorrow that attends that belief.
A woman asks how to make practical decisions with being, not mind. Rupert suggests that we make decisions that honour and express the qualities that are inherent in our true nature. Be aware of where your decision comes from, not what they are aiming towards.
A woman asks, ‘How do I transcend my desires?’. Rupert suggests that we will have a constant battle if we try to transcend desires. We just try to align them with our love of truth. If they don’t come from that, then we investigate the self on whose behalf those desires arise.
A woman shares her practice of bringing herself back to her being. Rupert suggests that if it works, then do it.
A woman asks about why, when Jesus was on the cross, he asked why God had forsaken him if he knew that God was with him. Rupert responds that this comment emerged from Jesus’s humanity. From that point of view, he is to be understood and forgiven for feeling abandoned.
A woman asks about who the Holy Ghost is in the Christian trinity. Rupert suggests that the holy ghost is that which connects the father with the son when the son believes they are separate.
A man asks if one can be aware of one’s true nature whilst being engaged in activities. Rupert suggests that it is only possible to pay attention to one object at a time. If consciousness is separate from objects, then it could only pay attention to either an object or itself. However, consciousness and objects are one and the same. He uses the movie and the screen analogy to clarify.
A man speaks of resting in stillness but says he has not made the connection that he is that stillness. Rupert responds that that realisation will come and there is nothing he needs to do. Just keep connecting with that stillness. Let that understanding come to you rather than reaching for it. We cannot go towards it, but eventually you know this softness of being.
A man asks about how to align his life with the non-dual understanding, while honouring his humanness. Rupert suggests that we consider that the purpose of our mind and body is to be used in service of the qualities that are inherent in reality. Give complete permission to the mind and body to express themselves fully in actions, activities and relationships.
A man, who sees consciousness enjoying itself, asks if consciousness moves in an intrinsic way. Rupert responds that it is spontaneous for no reason, like a jazz musician. It expresses itself in the finite mind as volition, but the essence of that mind does not itself have volition.
A man asks about cause and effect. Rupert suggests that consciousness doesn't have a point of view. A point of view is the separate self. He elaborates on the differences in perception from various points of view.
A woman shares her difficult experience being with her elderly mother for a final visit. Rupert suggests that how her mother behaves towards her is irrelevant. All that matters is that she bring her peace and love to her. She doesn’t have to like her mother; she does have to love her. Treat her as if she were your child.
There are essentially two different types of meditation. The first involves doing; the second involves being. The vast majority of meditation practices involve some kind of controlling or focussing of the mind on an object, such as a mantra, the breath or a flame. Then there is one unique kind of meditation, which should be called a non-meditation, or a non-practice, because it does not require doing anything at all. It requires simply being. Simply being is the ultimate meditation, or prayer, for which all other meditations and prayers are a preparation. As we sink deeply into being, our being loses all the qualities that it has acquired from the content of experience. In sinking into being, we leave behind our turbulent thoughts and agitated feelings, and we sink into the silent depths of our self, into the silent depths of being.
A man asks about the distinction between love and acceptance. Rupert suggests that consciousness is loving; not because it accepts everything into itself but because there is no distinction between itself and everything else. It is the utter absence of duality.
A man asks, ‘What is the definition of love?’ Rupert suggests that the definition of love is the absence of separation, the recognition of our shared being, the oneness of all people and things. The absence of two.
A man asks if love is a feeling. Rupert suggests that the feeling of love is not love, but the echo of a love in our body and mind.
A man asks about Kashmir Shaivism and cosmic energy vibrations. Rupert responds that the spanda is consciousness which vibrates within itself. The vibration of consciousness appears as a universe in form. He elaborates on the primordial sound.
A woman shares her recent difficult experiences of loss and grief. Rupert asks her to refer to her current experience only, not the past or future, and asks, ‘Do you have any problems now?’ She says, ‘No, not at this moment’. Rupert suggests that her practice is to ask herself that question many times throughout the day.
A woman says she wants to 'leave the ocean' due to her unhappiness from being dragged by the current of life. Rupert asks if she needs anything now, to which she responds 'I am sad.' Rupert suggests quietly emphasising the being or ‘I am’ aspect rather than the ‘sad’, which is a temporary colouring of being.
A man shares, that while he intellectually grasps the understanding, he wants to feel it experientially. Rupert leads him in experiencing himself and then suggests that the man was sinking his attention into his being, not intellectualising it.
A man asks about how to consistently experience being. Rupert suggests that our attention is required by the world, and that's fine. However, we need to make sure that we come back to our self in between those times when our attention is required by the world.
A man says that when he experiences being, it only feels like his experience, not a shared one. Rupert suggests that the experience of being has no limits. The limits are derived from the content of experience. Regarding the world, whatever we encounter – tree, car, sun - is. Isness is its fundamental nature.
A man asks about 'subtle references' such as trauma in the body and their dissolution which feels like free fall. Rupert responds that it takes courage to let go of our familiar habits, including trauma and other habitual experiences, which define us as a separate self. All we are letting go of is the belief in separation and the sorrow that attends that belief.
A woman asks how to make practical decisions with being, not mind. Rupert suggests that we make decisions that honour and express the qualities that are inherent in our true nature. Be aware of where your decision comes from, not what they are aiming towards.
A woman asks, ‘How do I transcend my desires?’. Rupert suggests that we will have a constant battle if we try to transcend desires. We just try to align them with our love of truth. If they don’t come from that, then we investigate the self on whose behalf those desires arise.
A woman shares her practice of bringing herself back to her being. Rupert suggests that if it works, then do it.
A woman asks about why, when Jesus was on the cross, he asked why God had forsaken him if he knew that God was with him. Rupert responds that this comment emerged from Jesus’s humanity. From that point of view, he is to be understood and forgiven for feeling abandoned.
A woman asks about who the Holy Ghost is in the Christian trinity. Rupert suggests that the holy ghost is that which connects the father with the son when the son believes they are separate.
A man asks if one can be aware of one’s true nature whilst being engaged in activities. Rupert suggests that it is only possible to pay attention to one object at a time. If consciousness is separate from objects, then it could only pay attention to either an object or itself. However, consciousness and objects are one and the same. He uses the movie and the screen analogy to clarify.
A man speaks of resting in stillness but says he has not made the connection that he is that stillness. Rupert responds that that realisation will come and there is nothing he needs to do. Just keep connecting with that stillness. Let that understanding come to you rather than reaching for it. We cannot go towards it, but eventually you know this softness of being.
A man asks about how to align his life with the non-dual understanding, while honouring his humanness. Rupert suggests that we consider that the purpose of our mind and body is to be used in service of the qualities that are inherent in reality. Give complete permission to the mind and body to express themselves fully in actions, activities and relationships.
A man, who sees consciousness enjoying itself, asks if consciousness moves in an intrinsic way. Rupert responds that it is spontaneous for no reason, like a jazz musician. It expresses itself in the finite mind as volition, but the essence of that mind does not itself have volition.
A man asks about cause and effect. Rupert suggests that consciousness doesn't have a point of view. A point of view is the separate self. He elaborates on the differences in perception from various points of view.
A woman shares her difficult experience being with her elderly mother for a final visit. Rupert suggests that how her mother behaves towards her is irrelevant. All that matters is that she bring her peace and love to her. She doesn’t have to like her mother; she does have to love her. Treat her as if she were your child.