Finding Happiness

Lasting happiness cannot be found in the acquisition of objects, substances, activities, states of mind or relationships. It resides in the simple knowing of our own being as it truly is.

Video Transcript

If you feel, and by the way it’s not a black and white thing, either one is interested in finding happiness in objects and relationships or he is interested in finding happiness in our true nature. It’s a scale, for almost all people, almost all of us here, we’re all open to the possibility that happiness doesn’t lie in objects. It doesn’t mean to say that none of us is seeking happiness in objects anymore.

But I would encourage you, and I mean this genuinely, if you feel that what you deeply desire in life, however you formulate that to yourself – it’s usually peace, happiness or love, it’s all the same experience we just formulate them in different ways. If you believe that what you deeply want in life can be delivered to you, via an object, a state, an activity or a relationship, then I would encourage you to go in search of it there.

Not to believe me or anyone else, just to question when you’re doing this whether you ever truly find what you want, in any of any of those objects.

I should say that this type of fear is not the first time I’ve had it. I’ve had it many times in the past. It’s just, I thought, I’d mention it because that meditation was the trigger.

Yes, of course you’ve felt this fear many times in the past. And in order to avoid the discomfort of this fear, you have been motivated towards objects, activities, substances, states of mind and relationships, but none of them have, as yet, alleviated this fear. So if you think that they can alleviate this fear, if you think it’s just a matter of a few more activities, substances, relationships and everything, go there. See if these objects don't just put a temporary end to your fear, because what you desire is not a temporary end to the fear. You want lasting happiness. So, if you feel that these objects can put an end to your fear, in other words bring you peace and fulfilment and love, then go there. Keep going there.

I mean I was being somewhat flippant.

I know you were. Of course I realise you were being very English and self-disparaging.

50% of us are English, got to keep the flag flying, old school tie wearing.

It takes one to know one. I know that you’re being a little disparaging but also I’m addressing something that is real underneath these comments, that it’s very natural for all of us, yes, to have realised to a certain extent, that no thing can make me happy. But there is still this impulse towards objects, towards states, towards substances. And it’s very important that we don’t too quickly gloss over that and say “Oh I know nothing can make me happy.”

No, we need to really feel for ourself that we have explored everything that is on offer in the world, fully, so that we know for ourself, not because anybody has told us, but we know for ourself ‘No, these objects cannot bring me happiness’. And that understanding, that conviction, will give us the impetus to seek happiness where it truly resides.

I think within me, there is the intellectual conviction and I’m going to use a Christian metaphor here, but I think it’s applicable to pretty much any tradition. In Matthew, the gospel of Matthew, I think he says “you put God first and all this other stuff will be given to you.” and that very much, I mean you could interpret that as belief in God or belief in realisation or a kind of combination of  the two and I dunno I mean that’s in a way where I’m coming from. I know that intellectually I should put God's realisation however you want to describe it, happiness first but I just find it rather difficult being a human being to do that. I try.

Yes evidently. But it’s not enough to know that. Because just knowing that and trying to persuade your mind to put God first will not touch those deeper impulses, which wants to put objects first. The deeper impulses in you, will always trump your mind. Then every now and then, there will be moments of regret, when you want to put God first. But it is the impulses in you that come from your body, from your feelings, that will impel you towards objects. That is why the feelings in the body need to be exposed and explored. It’s not enough to know “I should put God first”.

Well I agree. I certainly, you know, as I say it’s a scale. You know I don’t think I’m ever going to be 100% materialist. I’m certainly not 100% a spiritual person either. I mean I’m somewhere along that scale. That’s just being honest, so thank you very much indeed.

Thank you.

About Rupert Spira

From an early age Rupert Spira was deeply interested in the nature of reality. At the age of seventeen he learnt to meditate, and began studying and practicing the teachings of the classical Advaita Vedanta tradition under the guidance of Dr. Francis Roles and Shantananda Saraswati, the Shankaracharya of the north of India, which he continued for the next twenty years. During this time he immersed himself in the teachings of P.D.Ouspensky, Krishnamurti, Rumi, Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta, and Robert Adams, until he met his teacher, Francis Lucille, in 1997. Francis introduced Rupert to the Direct Path teachings of Atmanada Krishnamenon; Jean Klein and the tantric tradition of Kashmir Shaivism; and, more importantly, directly indicated to him the true nature of experience.

In his meetings, Rupert explores the perennial, non-dual understanding that lies at the heart of all the great religious and spiritual traditions, such as Advaita Vedanta, Kashmir Shaivism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Mystical Christianity, Sufism, Zen etc., and which is also the direct, ever-present reality of our own experience. This is a contemporary, experiential approach involving silent meditation, guided meditation and conversation, and requires no affiliation to any particular religious or spiritual tradition. All that is required is an interest in the essential nature of experience, and in the longing for love, peace and happiness around which most of our lives revolve.

Rupert is the author of nine books, with his most recent book, Being Myself, published this year.