Letting Go of Attachment in Family Relationships from the media Face the Feeling Behind the Thoughts
A man from Vancouver, Canada, asks about attachments, for example his worry about letting go of his relationship with his daughter. Rupert describes family relationships as ‘hard-wired’ rather than attachments we must work on getting rid of.
- Duration: 8 minutes and 14 seconds
- Recorded on: Jun 20, 2021
- Event: Exploring Difficult Emotions – Weekend Retreat at Home
A woman asks what is the best practice for dealing with frequent feelings of fear and anxiety. She finds it difficult to practise self-enquiry and feel into the space of awareness, especially when she is out in the world. Rupert leads her in self-enquiry to investigate the self that is aware of the feelings and suggests that, to begin with, she practise this when she is on her own.
A woman asks what is the best practice for dealing with frequent feelings of fear and anxiety. She finds it difficult to practise self-enquiry and feel into the space of awareness, especially when she is out in the world. Rupert leads her in self-enquiry to investigate the self that is aware of the feelings and suggests that, to begin with, she practise this when she is on her own.
A man says he wakes up with a heavy feeling in his chest like a black hole of fear, and asks what to do in this situation. Rupert asks him to face and experience the raw sensation he’s calling fear, without labels or thought, until the sensation is neutralised.
A woman asks whether, when she experiences a sense of lack, such as wanting to eat when she’s not hungry, it is best to follow the Vedantic or the Tantric approach. Rupert responds that it is helpful to use the Tantric approach and face the feeling of lack, rather than to turn away from it or submit to it by going to the fridge.
A woman says that she is able to sit with challenging emotions, but her practice goes out the window when she has a panic attack. Rupert responds that something more might be required in the middle of a panic attack, and encourages her to be ready with a repertoire of mitigating strategies when an attack arises.
A woman says that when she suddenly realised she was not her thoughts, she felt extraordinary joy for months, but now finds herself falling back into fear. Ruperts responds that this is completely normal; she was on a brief honeymoon and now needs to find her own way back to understanding.
A woman says she is confused about what prayer is and how to pray in this approach. Rupert replies that there is prayer that is mental activity but there is also prayer that is the same as meditation, or the subsidence of mind.
A man asks what to do to experience the peace and happiness of awareness. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry to discover the source of peace and happiness as an effortless recognition of his own essential nature.
A man from Vancouver, Canada, asks about attachments, for example his worry about letting go of his relationship with his daughter. Rupert describes family relationships as ‘hard-wired’ rather than attachments we must work on getting rid of.
A woman from Oregon says that she once stopped breathing and experienced a beautiful nirvikalpa samadhi. Now she has less interest in life and has a fear of death, even though she has had near-death experiences. Rupert suggests that what is being asked of her is not to return to nirvikalpa samadhi but rather to reconcile those death experiences with life, that is, to live in sahaja samadhi.
A man from Berlin says he has an intellectual understanding, and has even had a spiritual honeymoon period, but still is not able to deal with difficult emotions. He feels completely lost and forgets all spiritual practices in those times. Rupert suggests that he cannot be completely lost or he would not be aware of being lost, so there is some witnessing going on. He encourages the man to find some kind of physical activity that takes his attention away from the feelings.
A questioner asks about how to steer clear of seeking false consolation in objective experience. Rupert suggests that his attendance at this retreat means he already has an understanding of this false consolation, and so the understanding is his guide.
A woman asks how to look past the subtitles, or thoughts, in order to deal with feelings. Rupert explains that the reason we are so attracted to the subtitles is that we are terrified of the feelings, and leads her in self-enquiry.
A man asks for clarification about the analogy of the movie and the screen as it relates to knowing and difficult emotions. Rupert elaborates on the reality of the screen that seems to be veiled by the images appearing on it and how, if the movie is terrifying, we fail to notice the screen.
A woman asks what is the best practice for dealing with frequent feelings of fear and anxiety. She finds it difficult to practise self-enquiry and feel into the space of awareness, especially when she is out in the world. Rupert leads her in self-enquiry to investigate the self that is aware of the feelings and suggests that, to begin with, she practise this when she is on her own.
A woman asks what is the best practice for dealing with frequent feelings of fear and anxiety. She finds it difficult to practise self-enquiry and feel into the space of awareness, especially when she is out in the world. Rupert leads her in self-enquiry to investigate the self that is aware of the feelings and suggests that, to begin with, she practise this when she is on her own.
A man says he wakes up with a heavy feeling in his chest like a black hole of fear, and asks what to do in this situation. Rupert asks him to face and experience the raw sensation he’s calling fear, without labels or thought, until the sensation is neutralised.
A woman asks whether, when she experiences a sense of lack, such as wanting to eat when she’s not hungry, it is best to follow the Vedantic or the Tantric approach. Rupert responds that it is helpful to use the Tantric approach and face the feeling of lack, rather than to turn away from it or submit to it by going to the fridge.
A woman says that she is able to sit with challenging emotions, but her practice goes out the window when she has a panic attack. Rupert responds that something more might be required in the middle of a panic attack, and encourages her to be ready with a repertoire of mitigating strategies when an attack arises.
A woman says that when she suddenly realised she was not her thoughts, she felt extraordinary joy for months, but now finds herself falling back into fear. Ruperts responds that this is completely normal; she was on a brief honeymoon and now needs to find her own way back to understanding.
A woman says she is confused about what prayer is and how to pray in this approach. Rupert replies that there is prayer that is mental activity but there is also prayer that is the same as meditation, or the subsidence of mind.
A man asks what to do to experience the peace and happiness of awareness. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry to discover the source of peace and happiness as an effortless recognition of his own essential nature.
A man from Vancouver, Canada, asks about attachments, for example his worry about letting go of his relationship with his daughter. Rupert describes family relationships as ‘hard-wired’ rather than attachments we must work on getting rid of.
A woman from Oregon says that she once stopped breathing and experienced a beautiful nirvikalpa samadhi. Now she has less interest in life and has a fear of death, even though she has had near-death experiences. Rupert suggests that what is being asked of her is not to return to nirvikalpa samadhi but rather to reconcile those death experiences with life, that is, to live in sahaja samadhi.
A man from Berlin says he has an intellectual understanding, and has even had a spiritual honeymoon period, but still is not able to deal with difficult emotions. He feels completely lost and forgets all spiritual practices in those times. Rupert suggests that he cannot be completely lost or he would not be aware of being lost, so there is some witnessing going on. He encourages the man to find some kind of physical activity that takes his attention away from the feelings.
A questioner asks about how to steer clear of seeking false consolation in objective experience. Rupert suggests that his attendance at this retreat means he already has an understanding of this false consolation, and so the understanding is his guide.
A woman asks how to look past the subtitles, or thoughts, in order to deal with feelings. Rupert explains that the reason we are so attracted to the subtitles is that we are terrified of the feelings, and leads her in self-enquiry.
A man asks for clarification about the analogy of the movie and the screen as it relates to knowing and difficult emotions. Rupert elaborates on the reality of the screen that seems to be veiled by the images appearing on it and how, if the movie is terrifying, we fail to notice the screen.