Handling Difficult Family Dynamics from the media On Fire for the Truth
A man wants to engage in activities, like practising braille or writing poetry, but he lacks joy, and an inner voice tells him it’s not worth it. He also talks about his struggles with his adult daughter. Rupert suggests that, by definition, when we look back all we see are mistakes, especially when it comes to parenting. You are not alone; we all feel it. All we can do is acknowledge our shortcomings and move on. If the child cannot move on as an adult, then they will have to grow through it in their own time. In a way, if you don’t move on, you are colluding with your daughter.
- Duration: 18 minutes and 57 seconds
- Recorded on: Mar 30, 2022
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Garrison Institute – 27th March to 3rd April
A man, who wonders about questions and how free will fits in, asks for definitions of free will, friendship and abidance. Rupert suggests that all questions come from our love of truth. If there are any kind of obstructions to being knowingly infinite being and living the implications of that, then questions arise in order to clear those objections and resistances, so that we might abide in infinite being and express it. They arise in the service of truth. They don’t come from the ego. Abidance is resting in and as the being we essentially are. That’s the inward aspect of the path. Friendship expresses the outward aspect of the path. So many say, ‘This teaching is like coming home’. It's being share itself with itself.
A woman says she is bothered by the idea of reincarnation and the idea that she'd have to come back. Rupert suggests that if she's not interested in reincarnation, than it's best not to worry about it.
A woman asks about levels of consciousness and Rupert responds that he doesn’t talk about levels in relation to the truth. They investigate the inner experiences that she has, like sensations and judgment. Rupert says that being is like the screen that itself never undergoes any changes, and he explores being and its expression using this analogy.
A woman asks for clarification around practice and doing, saying, ‘What are we supposed to do with the instruction, ‘Don't do anything?”’ Rupert suggests that the question itself is an example of reaching for something, for understanding, which is what was being pointed out in the instruction to notice expectation, boredom or any impulse to reach outward for something. In the meditation, we were allowing that impulse to subside and rest in abidance.
A man asks about abidance and allowing whatever is to be there, sharing that his senses are still ‘on’. Rupert suggests that it’s not necessary to turn off the movie in order to see the screen. It doesn’t matter if the movie playing. It’s not about objective experience, it’s about whether our peace is invested in objective experience. If we think that the silence that is the absence of sound and thought is the silence that we're aiming for, we'll always be pushing away experience, trying to stop our thoughts and mind. Being is equally present during the presence of thoughts and sounds. That’s the real silence.
A man, who compares the body, brain and mind to accessing files on a computer, asks about content and differences in the whirlpool. Rupert responds that there is no division in the water or the level of being. Each conglomeration of body and mind is unique, and he suggests that the computer analogy comes from the materialist model. It's valid as an analogy, and for performing certain programs, but does not tell you what is true. It may tell you how nature works, but not what it is.
A man wants to engage in activities, like practising braille or writing poetry, but he lacks joy, and an inner voice tells him it’s not worth it. He also talks about his struggles with his adult daughter. Rupert suggests that, by definition, when we look back all we see are mistakes, especially when it comes to parenting. You are not alone; we all feel it. All we can do is acknowledge our shortcomings and move on. If the child cannot move on as an adult, then they will have to grow through it in their own time. In a way, if you don’t move on, you are colluding with your daughter.
A woman speaks of having difficulty with her daughter, and while she always loves her, she doesn't always like her. Rupert responds that you can dislike your daughter's behaviour but love her being. It's fine not to like her behaviour if it's not expressing love, truth and understanding.
A woman says she feels bad, like it is wrong when she has negative thoughts and emotions. Rupert suggests that it is part of cultural conditioning, but sometimes negative emotions, such as anger, are appropriate responses in order to restore truth, love and justice in the situation.
A man asks about the conflict between intuition and cravings and how to decipher between them. Rupert suggests that an impulse always comes from a sense of lack, whereas intuition is the voice in the mind that rises on behalf of the truth. The most important thing is that the motive of the action is in line with love and understanding irrespective of its consequences for your life or anyone else’s.
A woman asks about the highest desire – being on fire for truth – and how it brings up a fear of death and losing oneself. Rupert responds that even our fierce desire for the truth must subside because it means we are moving towards something, which means we are actually moving away from that which we truly desire. Desire must come to an end as it subsides into that which we are looking for.
A man, who wonders about questions and how free will fits in, asks for definitions of free will, friendship and abidance. Rupert suggests that all questions come from our love of truth. If there are any kind of obstructions to being knowingly infinite being and living the implications of that, then questions arise in order to clear those objections and resistances, so that we might abide in infinite being and express it. They arise in the service of truth. They don’t come from the ego. Abidance is resting in and as the being we essentially are. That’s the inward aspect of the path. Friendship expresses the outward aspect of the path. So many say, ‘This teaching is like coming home’. It's being share itself with itself.
A woman says she is bothered by the idea of reincarnation and the idea that she'd have to come back. Rupert suggests that if she's not interested in reincarnation, than it's best not to worry about it.
A woman asks about levels of consciousness and Rupert responds that he doesn’t talk about levels in relation to the truth. They investigate the inner experiences that she has, like sensations and judgment. Rupert says that being is like the screen that itself never undergoes any changes, and he explores being and its expression using this analogy.
A woman asks for clarification around practice and doing, saying, ‘What are we supposed to do with the instruction, ‘Don't do anything?”’ Rupert suggests that the question itself is an example of reaching for something, for understanding, which is what was being pointed out in the instruction to notice expectation, boredom or any impulse to reach outward for something. In the meditation, we were allowing that impulse to subside and rest in abidance.
A man asks about abidance and allowing whatever is to be there, sharing that his senses are still ‘on’. Rupert suggests that it’s not necessary to turn off the movie in order to see the screen. It doesn’t matter if the movie playing. It’s not about objective experience, it’s about whether our peace is invested in objective experience. If we think that the silence that is the absence of sound and thought is the silence that we're aiming for, we'll always be pushing away experience, trying to stop our thoughts and mind. Being is equally present during the presence of thoughts and sounds. That’s the real silence.
A man, who compares the body, brain and mind to accessing files on a computer, asks about content and differences in the whirlpool. Rupert responds that there is no division in the water or the level of being. Each conglomeration of body and mind is unique, and he suggests that the computer analogy comes from the materialist model. It's valid as an analogy, and for performing certain programs, but does not tell you what is true. It may tell you how nature works, but not what it is.
A man wants to engage in activities, like practising braille or writing poetry, but he lacks joy, and an inner voice tells him it’s not worth it. He also talks about his struggles with his adult daughter. Rupert suggests that, by definition, when we look back all we see are mistakes, especially when it comes to parenting. You are not alone; we all feel it. All we can do is acknowledge our shortcomings and move on. If the child cannot move on as an adult, then they will have to grow through it in their own time. In a way, if you don’t move on, you are colluding with your daughter.
A woman speaks of having difficulty with her daughter, and while she always loves her, she doesn't always like her. Rupert responds that you can dislike your daughter's behaviour but love her being. It's fine not to like her behaviour if it's not expressing love, truth and understanding.
A woman says she feels bad, like it is wrong when she has negative thoughts and emotions. Rupert suggests that it is part of cultural conditioning, but sometimes negative emotions, such as anger, are appropriate responses in order to restore truth, love and justice in the situation.
A man asks about the conflict between intuition and cravings and how to decipher between them. Rupert suggests that an impulse always comes from a sense of lack, whereas intuition is the voice in the mind that rises on behalf of the truth. The most important thing is that the motive of the action is in line with love and understanding irrespective of its consequences for your life or anyone else’s.
A woman asks about the highest desire – being on fire for truth – and how it brings up a fear of death and losing oneself. Rupert responds that even our fierce desire for the truth must subside because it means we are moving towards something, which means we are actually moving away from that which we truly desire. Desire must come to an end as it subsides into that which we are looking for.