Expectations Provoke Resistance in Relationship from the media The Nature of Our Self
A man shares that he is often disappointed in relationships because he gives more than he receives. He asks if his expectations are egoic and if he should say no to others more often and spend time alone. Rupert suggests that expectation provokes resistance in others, and that he learn to discriminate as to when to say yes, then we may want to practice saying no, but not at the expense of our generosity.
- Duration: 8 minutes and 47 seconds
- Recorded on: Aug 16, 2021
- Event: Webinar – Monday 16th August from 6:00pm, UK
Understand yourself as the presence of awareness with which all experience is known, within which all experience arises, and out of which all experience is made. Each understanding tells us about the nature of awareness, that is, the nature of our self. In the first, we separate from the content of experience, know ourselves as the knower of experience and recognize our innate freedom. In the second, we collapse this distinction and know our self as the medium within which all experience appears and discover our innate peace. In the third recognition, we collapse any distinction between awareness and its content and see the world as a play of awareness, in awareness, made only of awareness.
A woman asks about why memories make her lose her awareness of self. Rupert suggests that while it is natural to get lost in memories, it is also natural to practise being in touch with our self amid experience.
A woman asks about how disturbing memories should be approached. Rupert suggests that we turn towards and examine the feelings that are generated by memories.
A man who experiences depression says he is thinking of joining a community and asks for advice. Rupert affirms this inclination and suggests that engaging in activity and relationship with others may be helpful.
A man shares that he is often disappointed in relationships because he gives more than he receives. He asks if his expectations are egoic and if he should say no to others more often and spend time alone. Rupert suggests that expectation provokes resistance in others, and that he learn to discriminate as to when to say yes, then we may want to practice saying no, but not at the expense of our generosity.
A woman who has spent the last 30 years studying Christian Mysticism asks if it is wise to turn toward non-duality after years of practising love and devotion. Rupert suggests that these approaches are the same path described in different ways and that non-dual terms and expressions may offer new insights.
"A woman asks for pointers on how to deepen her non-dual understanding. Rupert suggests that having experienced our true nature, we know our way there and can trace our way back again and again. "
"A woman asks about whether it is possible to be aware of being aware whilst going on with daily life. Rupert suggests that it is, but that sometimes awareness recedes during a focused task but may then re-emerge as the foreground. "
"A man asks about anxiety that he experiences while working on his dissertation. Rupert says that anxiety does not arise on behalf of awareness, but from a sense of identity. "
"A man who experiences depression wonders if making spontaneous light-hearted comments with others might be a way out of his depression. Rupert suggests that when we engage with others in this way we signal that we are friendly and open and that if this approach works, then keep doing it. "
"A woman asks, ‘What am I longing for?’ Rupert suggests that we long for our own being and peace but that we often project that longing outward and overlook our own being. "
A man who has been meditating and practising for a while asks about a recent shift toward standing in awareness. Rupert suggests that awakening is frequently a quiet recognition that we don't even formulate.
"A man who has experienced a shift in awareness asks about interactions at work because he doesn't take things as seriously as his co-workers do. Rupert suggests that though we don't get caught up in drama, we respectfully model our understanding, which may have a powerful impact. "
An artist had the realisation that beauty is discovered at the point of dissolution of the separate self, and asks about the journey awareness takes in the creation of art. Rupert suggests that it is not a journey for awareness, but for the mind, and that understanding is not imposed on the work of art, but as an evocation of experience.
"A man asks for clarity on the term ‘activity’. Rupert elaborates that in the same way that the dream we have at night is the activity of our mind, the waking dream, the appearance of ten thousand things, is the activity of universal mind. "
"A man asks about imagination and the role it plays in self-enquiry. Rupert says that there is no imagination involved with self-enquiry but that metaphors and analogies help to evoke understanding, and thus act like works of art. "
A woman asks about the legitimacy of fears and negative responses that arise. Rupert suggests that they emerge when we don’t know our true nature and that we can then ask, “Who has been hurt?’
Understand yourself as the presence of awareness with which all experience is known, within which all experience arises, and out of which all experience is made. Each understanding tells us about the nature of awareness, that is, the nature of our self. In the first, we separate from the content of experience, know ourselves as the knower of experience and recognize our innate freedom. In the second, we collapse this distinction and know our self as the medium within which all experience appears and discover our innate peace. In the third recognition, we collapse any distinction between awareness and its content and see the world as a play of awareness, in awareness, made only of awareness.
A woman asks about why memories make her lose her awareness of self. Rupert suggests that while it is natural to get lost in memories, it is also natural to practise being in touch with our self amid experience.
A woman asks about how disturbing memories should be approached. Rupert suggests that we turn towards and examine the feelings that are generated by memories.
A man who experiences depression says he is thinking of joining a community and asks for advice. Rupert affirms this inclination and suggests that engaging in activity and relationship with others may be helpful.
A man shares that he is often disappointed in relationships because he gives more than he receives. He asks if his expectations are egoic and if he should say no to others more often and spend time alone. Rupert suggests that expectation provokes resistance in others, and that he learn to discriminate as to when to say yes, then we may want to practice saying no, but not at the expense of our generosity.
A woman who has spent the last 30 years studying Christian Mysticism asks if it is wise to turn toward non-duality after years of practising love and devotion. Rupert suggests that these approaches are the same path described in different ways and that non-dual terms and expressions may offer new insights.
"A woman asks for pointers on how to deepen her non-dual understanding. Rupert suggests that having experienced our true nature, we know our way there and can trace our way back again and again. "
"A woman asks about whether it is possible to be aware of being aware whilst going on with daily life. Rupert suggests that it is, but that sometimes awareness recedes during a focused task but may then re-emerge as the foreground. "
"A man asks about anxiety that he experiences while working on his dissertation. Rupert says that anxiety does not arise on behalf of awareness, but from a sense of identity. "
"A man who experiences depression wonders if making spontaneous light-hearted comments with others might be a way out of his depression. Rupert suggests that when we engage with others in this way we signal that we are friendly and open and that if this approach works, then keep doing it. "
"A woman asks, ‘What am I longing for?’ Rupert suggests that we long for our own being and peace but that we often project that longing outward and overlook our own being. "
A man who has been meditating and practising for a while asks about a recent shift toward standing in awareness. Rupert suggests that awakening is frequently a quiet recognition that we don't even formulate.
"A man who has experienced a shift in awareness asks about interactions at work because he doesn't take things as seriously as his co-workers do. Rupert suggests that though we don't get caught up in drama, we respectfully model our understanding, which may have a powerful impact. "
An artist had the realisation that beauty is discovered at the point of dissolution of the separate self, and asks about the journey awareness takes in the creation of art. Rupert suggests that it is not a journey for awareness, but for the mind, and that understanding is not imposed on the work of art, but as an evocation of experience.
"A man asks for clarity on the term ‘activity’. Rupert elaborates that in the same way that the dream we have at night is the activity of our mind, the waking dream, the appearance of ten thousand things, is the activity of universal mind. "
"A man asks about imagination and the role it plays in self-enquiry. Rupert says that there is no imagination involved with self-enquiry but that metaphors and analogies help to evoke understanding, and thus act like works of art. "
A woman asks about the legitimacy of fears and negative responses that arise. Rupert suggests that they emerge when we don’t know our true nature and that we can then ask, “Who has been hurt?’