Dealing with Family Dynamics and Triggers from the media Awareness Is at the Heart of All Experience
A man who has gone back to live with his family asks how to deal with the dynamics and triggers in the situation. Rupert responds that it is an opportunity to bring clarity to the dynamics. See them as conditioned responses laid down in early life, which are being retriggered. View it as you view the weather, impersonally.
- Duration: 5 minutes and 4 seconds
- Recorded on: Aug 11, 2022
- Event: Webinar – Thursday 11th August
Experience can be divided into two parts: our circumstances – how our body and the world present themselves to us from moment to moment – and our internal dialogue about our circumstances. Simply open without resistance to our experience. It is never awareness that comments on our circumstances; it is the mind. Our suffering is never in the circumstances themselves; it is always in the internal dialogue. We do not practise acceptance, surrender, openness with the mind. These are the very nature of the awareness. They are not what we do, they are what are. Notice that as the presence of awareness we are utterly intimately one with all our experience and at the same time free of it, intimate and independent. From this point there are really no distractions. Whatever experience we may be distracted by we find ourself, awareness, at the heart of that experience.
A man who has gone back to live with his family asks how to deal with the dynamics and triggers in the situation. Rupert responds that it is an opportunity to bring clarity to the dynamics. See them as conditioned responses laid down in early life, which are being retriggered. View it as you view the weather, impersonally.
A man asks about the conflict between his personal life and awareness. Rupert assures him that he’s on the right track and asks him to investigate the ‘I’ to which he refers. Who is this ‘I’ who is interested in non-duality, who is focusing on the breath? The experience of awareness was a kiss from God, and now God has challenged to find it in the sanctuary of his own heart.
A woman asks about the difference between thinking and being in the heart which feels like home, and about the path of beauty. Rupert responds that what is referred to as the heart is the innermost aspect of ourself, that which is essential and cannot be taken away: being, unlike thoughts and feelings which are not essential. It feels like home because it has been with you always, since childhood, and is present now. Keep the heart in the midst of experience and in your art. An artist is not a person, but a function.
A man asks about how mankind can have a sustainable relationship with the environment. Rupert suggests that the essence of the non-dual understanding, namely the principle of oneness, should inform the way we think, feel and act. What informs our behaviour? Unity or separation.
A man asks if in order to make a profound difference to the global problem, we need a lot of influential people who can become teachers to the politicians and people in power. Rupert suggests that just changing external behaviour is not enough to address something like climate change. Something more must change: there must be a deeper understanding that informs behaviour.
A man feels that life is pushing him towards a new way of being, which became clear when his reclusive neighbour died. His relationship with his home is now changed. so he's going to a monastery and asks how to structure this time in quiet. Rupert suggests that it is a beautiful thing to do, and not to think of the monastery as a place, but as being in God's presence. The real journey is into God's being.
A woman, who has had a fallen out with a fellow retreat friend, asks for guidance. Rupert suggests there are two approaches: one, express how she feels to her friend, but one can’t do more than that, and second, he suggests ‘this is between you and yourself’. This incident is a part of her circumstances, it’s a fact. But then there is her own internal dialogue, which is the cause of her suffering is. This is a great opportunity.
A man comments on knowing and that there is no edge anywhere. However, there is a feeling of density when he puts his hand to his chest, so there seems to be an edge. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry to discover and experience the sensation of an edge, or a boundary, the boundless nature of the sensation, and the assumption of density.
A man asks about the expression of heart in community as he struggles with feelings of unworthiness. Rupert encourages him to go one step further back to being with the feelings of unworthiness and unlovableness - just be with it. Find the place in yourself that you want to find in your friends. This place is warm and loving.
A woman asks about the personal, impersonal and witnessing consciousness, because she objects to the concept of impersonal being ‘without feelings’. Rupert replies that the impersonal is being, is consciousness. The personal is our ideas, feelings and so on. The personal does not change the impersonal in any way. The screen doesn't share any of the limitations of the images or characters that play upon it.
A woman remarks on her experience of age though she knows she is not a body. Rupert invites her to experience herself directly, which is the experience of just being. There is no age. Of course, the way we appear to others is young or old, but we are interested in what we are, not how we appear. The snow appears orange, but it is white.
A man, who was in the military, recalls nearly dying in detail. He describes the experience of not being able to breathe. A recent experience with meditation induced an out-of-body experience, in which he relived that wartime scene from above. He asks, Was this my being looking down?’ Rupert responds that at the time of the event, the physical trauma remained in the body after psychological and emotional recovery. The meditation allowed that deeply buried physical trauma to arise in order to be released.
Experience can be divided into two parts: our circumstances – how our body and the world present themselves to us from moment to moment – and our internal dialogue about our circumstances. Simply open without resistance to our experience. It is never awareness that comments on our circumstances; it is the mind. Our suffering is never in the circumstances themselves; it is always in the internal dialogue. We do not practise acceptance, surrender, openness with the mind. These are the very nature of the awareness. They are not what we do, they are what are. Notice that as the presence of awareness we are utterly intimately one with all our experience and at the same time free of it, intimate and independent. From this point there are really no distractions. Whatever experience we may be distracted by we find ourself, awareness, at the heart of that experience.
A man who has gone back to live with his family asks how to deal with the dynamics and triggers in the situation. Rupert responds that it is an opportunity to bring clarity to the dynamics. See them as conditioned responses laid down in early life, which are being retriggered. View it as you view the weather, impersonally.
A man asks about the conflict between his personal life and awareness. Rupert assures him that he’s on the right track and asks him to investigate the ‘I’ to which he refers. Who is this ‘I’ who is interested in non-duality, who is focusing on the breath? The experience of awareness was a kiss from God, and now God has challenged to find it in the sanctuary of his own heart.
A woman asks about the difference between thinking and being in the heart which feels like home, and about the path of beauty. Rupert responds that what is referred to as the heart is the innermost aspect of ourself, that which is essential and cannot be taken away: being, unlike thoughts and feelings which are not essential. It feels like home because it has been with you always, since childhood, and is present now. Keep the heart in the midst of experience and in your art. An artist is not a person, but a function.
A man asks about how mankind can have a sustainable relationship with the environment. Rupert suggests that the essence of the non-dual understanding, namely the principle of oneness, should inform the way we think, feel and act. What informs our behaviour? Unity or separation.
A man asks if in order to make a profound difference to the global problem, we need a lot of influential people who can become teachers to the politicians and people in power. Rupert suggests that just changing external behaviour is not enough to address something like climate change. Something more must change: there must be a deeper understanding that informs behaviour.
A man feels that life is pushing him towards a new way of being, which became clear when his reclusive neighbour died. His relationship with his home is now changed. so he's going to a monastery and asks how to structure this time in quiet. Rupert suggests that it is a beautiful thing to do, and not to think of the monastery as a place, but as being in God's presence. The real journey is into God's being.
A woman, who has had a fallen out with a fellow retreat friend, asks for guidance. Rupert suggests there are two approaches: one, express how she feels to her friend, but one can’t do more than that, and second, he suggests ‘this is between you and yourself’. This incident is a part of her circumstances, it’s a fact. But then there is her own internal dialogue, which is the cause of her suffering is. This is a great opportunity.
A man comments on knowing and that there is no edge anywhere. However, there is a feeling of density when he puts his hand to his chest, so there seems to be an edge. Rupert guides him in self-enquiry to discover and experience the sensation of an edge, or a boundary, the boundless nature of the sensation, and the assumption of density.
A man asks about the expression of heart in community as he struggles with feelings of unworthiness. Rupert encourages him to go one step further back to being with the feelings of unworthiness and unlovableness - just be with it. Find the place in yourself that you want to find in your friends. This place is warm and loving.
A woman asks about the personal, impersonal and witnessing consciousness, because she objects to the concept of impersonal being ‘without feelings’. Rupert replies that the impersonal is being, is consciousness. The personal is our ideas, feelings and so on. The personal does not change the impersonal in any way. The screen doesn't share any of the limitations of the images or characters that play upon it.
A woman remarks on her experience of age though she knows she is not a body. Rupert invites her to experience herself directly, which is the experience of just being. There is no age. Of course, the way we appear to others is young or old, but we are interested in what we are, not how we appear. The snow appears orange, but it is white.
A man, who was in the military, recalls nearly dying in detail. He describes the experience of not being able to breathe. A recent experience with meditation induced an out-of-body experience, in which he relived that wartime scene from above. He asks, Was this my being looking down?’ Rupert responds that at the time of the event, the physical trauma remained in the body after psychological and emotional recovery. The meditation allowed that deeply buried physical trauma to arise in order to be released.