Effort, Effortlessness and Spiritual Bypassing from the media Say 'Yes' to the Entirety of Experience
A man asks about effort versus effortless. Rupert suggests that if you need to make an effort do so, but don’t add a veneer of non-duality on top of it that says ‘I should never make an effort’. Don’t use the non-dual understanding to avoid dealing in practical ways with any issues we have.
- Duration: 6 minutes and 33 seconds
- Recorded on: Sep 22, 2022
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at The Vedanta – 17th to 24th September
A man shared he had an experience of witnessing the witness and his body had a physical reaction. Rupert suggests that the separate self was feeling threatened by the depth of your meditation, and rightly so. It is, in fact, the demise of the separate self. It was a rebellion. What you felt was the effect in the body.
A man asks for help or other things he could do to make this recognition happen faster, such as how to still the mind. Rupert suggests that the stilling of the mind is not a prerequisite for abidance in awareness. This is why this is called the Direct Path. Stilling of the mind is a side effect of abidance.
A violinist, who shares that she experiences both anxiety as well as the flow state, asks how to support the flow state. Rupert suggests that the flow state is the natural state, and what prevents it is the fear of the ego: ‘I’m going to fail’. It doesn’t need to be cultivated. The more you rest in your being in life, the more it will show up during performance.
A woman asks if there is a way to recognise whether she is holding on to a subtle object. Rupert suggests that she drop all attempts to drop. That is the last thing she is holding on to.
A woman speaks of her niece’s husband who has terminal cancer, which is causing great sorrow and distress. She doesn't know what to say or how to support her family. Rupert responds that the best thing she can give her family is peace of being. There is no need to explain this, which might create resistance, but just share in and as your presence.
A man shares that he is physically and psychologically struggling since coming to retreat. As the week has gone on, he feels an amplification of separation. Rupert says that the fact that he was able to share this in front of everyone is a testament to his love of truth. These meditations are powerful. They bring up samskaras. Rupert uses the metaphor of the creatures in the well to illustrate what happens. It is a positive process; bear with it.
A woman who has been on a Sufi open path became ill with hydrocephalus. Her peace was disrupted by this and she became angry. This was followed by the death of family members. She asks how to get better at meditating with tinnitus. Rupert responds that meditation has nothing to do with how you're thinking or feeling. Remain as being. Be knowingly the space in which tinnitus, anger or anything else arises. Meditation is irrelevant to whatever is arising in experience, whether it be thoughts or tinnitus.
A man says he thinks Rupert is a brilliant comedian. He shares he is prone to laughing but doesn’t want to disrespect other people's suffering. Rupert says that crying and laughing are very closely related and can easily turn one into the other. They are the way the body releases tension. When something is funny, it is because it releases a little bit of tension, which allows our true being to shine. He then talks about the three paths to our being.
A man asks about the three paths: Jnana, Bhakti and Raja. Rupert responds that all are pathways to realisation. One is not better than the other.
A woman shares that there are many people in her life who are dying and asks what happens with death and if it has a purpose. Rupert suggests that the ultimate purpose of death is to point towards the deathless. Death is the falling away of everything we know, which is what we do in meditation. Meditation is dying while staying alive. What remains is what we really are; for the ego, it is terrifying.
A man speaks of the name of God and of the separate self. He wonders why there is a need to hold onto his name. Rupert suggests that what he was speaking of previously was deeper than the understanding that you are not your name. He was trying to elevate rather than degrade our names.
A man asks about the 'blank state' that can happen during meditation, which feels like deep peace. Is the blank state peace or an egoic manipulation? Rupert replies that the presence of awareness is not impacted by what goes on in the mind, so usually the mind quiets down with the recognition of our true nature of awareness. Don't worry about it or overthink it.
A woman shares her experience of a blissful heightened experience for a day before losing it. She asks why she lost it. Rupert suggests that it is simply because states of mind come and go. True nature is not a state that comes and goes. It is the transparent colourless screen. The recognition of your true nature is very quiet, the presence of awareness in the background of experience.
A man asks about how he would know that he had been beyond objects and perception. Rupert responds that we know by the extent of the causeless peace we feel in the rest of our life. If we allow our feelings to be dependent upon experience, we are setting ourself up for misery. Our true nature is not affected by what happens in the world, so we either say 'yes' or 'no' to what is happening. 'No' is pitting yourself against the whole universe. If you want peace, say 'yes' to the entirety of your experience.
A woman with constant pain says that when she rests in being and takes away all experience, pain is still there. Does the pain prevent me from going deeper? Rupert suggests that it will only do so if we give it permission to do so. He says that we take away everything every night when we go to sleep.
A man describes an intense experience in Vipassana meditation that felt like a constriction in the heart, like fear, which keeps the fear from coming out. Rupert recommends Qigong or Kriya Yoga. His resistance to the external world reinforces the contraction. Open your heart completely; embrace whatever appears and say 'yes' to it. Pay attention to the subtle 'no' as it arises. The bigger the feeling, the bigger the 'yes'. Desperation may bring us to the path, but no need to bring it with us.
A man asks about effort versus effortless. Rupert suggests that if you need to make an effort do so, but don’t add a veneer of non-duality on top of it that says ‘I should never make an effort’. Don’t use the non-dual understanding to avoid dealing in practical ways with any issues we have.
A man shared he had an experience of witnessing the witness and his body had a physical reaction. Rupert suggests that the separate self was feeling threatened by the depth of your meditation, and rightly so. It is, in fact, the demise of the separate self. It was a rebellion. What you felt was the effect in the body.
A man asks for help or other things he could do to make this recognition happen faster, such as how to still the mind. Rupert suggests that the stilling of the mind is not a prerequisite for abidance in awareness. This is why this is called the Direct Path. Stilling of the mind is a side effect of abidance.
A violinist, who shares that she experiences both anxiety as well as the flow state, asks how to support the flow state. Rupert suggests that the flow state is the natural state, and what prevents it is the fear of the ego: ‘I’m going to fail’. It doesn’t need to be cultivated. The more you rest in your being in life, the more it will show up during performance.
A woman asks if there is a way to recognise whether she is holding on to a subtle object. Rupert suggests that she drop all attempts to drop. That is the last thing she is holding on to.
A woman speaks of her niece’s husband who has terminal cancer, which is causing great sorrow and distress. She doesn't know what to say or how to support her family. Rupert responds that the best thing she can give her family is peace of being. There is no need to explain this, which might create resistance, but just share in and as your presence.
A man shares that he is physically and psychologically struggling since coming to retreat. As the week has gone on, he feels an amplification of separation. Rupert says that the fact that he was able to share this in front of everyone is a testament to his love of truth. These meditations are powerful. They bring up samskaras. Rupert uses the metaphor of the creatures in the well to illustrate what happens. It is a positive process; bear with it.
A woman who has been on a Sufi open path became ill with hydrocephalus. Her peace was disrupted by this and she became angry. This was followed by the death of family members. She asks how to get better at meditating with tinnitus. Rupert responds that meditation has nothing to do with how you're thinking or feeling. Remain as being. Be knowingly the space in which tinnitus, anger or anything else arises. Meditation is irrelevant to whatever is arising in experience, whether it be thoughts or tinnitus.
A man says he thinks Rupert is a brilliant comedian. He shares he is prone to laughing but doesn’t want to disrespect other people's suffering. Rupert says that crying and laughing are very closely related and can easily turn one into the other. They are the way the body releases tension. When something is funny, it is because it releases a little bit of tension, which allows our true being to shine. He then talks about the three paths to our being.
A man asks about the three paths: Jnana, Bhakti and Raja. Rupert responds that all are pathways to realisation. One is not better than the other.
A woman shares that there are many people in her life who are dying and asks what happens with death and if it has a purpose. Rupert suggests that the ultimate purpose of death is to point towards the deathless. Death is the falling away of everything we know, which is what we do in meditation. Meditation is dying while staying alive. What remains is what we really are; for the ego, it is terrifying.
A man speaks of the name of God and of the separate self. He wonders why there is a need to hold onto his name. Rupert suggests that what he was speaking of previously was deeper than the understanding that you are not your name. He was trying to elevate rather than degrade our names.
A man asks about the 'blank state' that can happen during meditation, which feels like deep peace. Is the blank state peace or an egoic manipulation? Rupert replies that the presence of awareness is not impacted by what goes on in the mind, so usually the mind quiets down with the recognition of our true nature of awareness. Don't worry about it or overthink it.
A woman shares her experience of a blissful heightened experience for a day before losing it. She asks why she lost it. Rupert suggests that it is simply because states of mind come and go. True nature is not a state that comes and goes. It is the transparent colourless screen. The recognition of your true nature is very quiet, the presence of awareness in the background of experience.
A man asks about how he would know that he had been beyond objects and perception. Rupert responds that we know by the extent of the causeless peace we feel in the rest of our life. If we allow our feelings to be dependent upon experience, we are setting ourself up for misery. Our true nature is not affected by what happens in the world, so we either say 'yes' or 'no' to what is happening. 'No' is pitting yourself against the whole universe. If you want peace, say 'yes' to the entirety of your experience.
A woman with constant pain says that when she rests in being and takes away all experience, pain is still there. Does the pain prevent me from going deeper? Rupert suggests that it will only do so if we give it permission to do so. He says that we take away everything every night when we go to sleep.
A man describes an intense experience in Vipassana meditation that felt like a constriction in the heart, like fear, which keeps the fear from coming out. Rupert recommends Qigong or Kriya Yoga. His resistance to the external world reinforces the contraction. Open your heart completely; embrace whatever appears and say 'yes' to it. Pay attention to the subtle 'no' as it arises. The bigger the feeling, the bigger the 'yes'. Desperation may bring us to the path, but no need to bring it with us.
A man asks about effort versus effortless. Rupert suggests that if you need to make an effort do so, but don’t add a veneer of non-duality on top of it that says ‘I should never make an effort’. Don’t use the non-dual understanding to avoid dealing in practical ways with any issues we have.