Where Is My Wife Who Passed? from the media Love Is the Evidence of Our Shared Being
A man, whose wife died unexpectedly during surgery, started talking to her and received the message, ‘I am with you’. He asks, 'Where is she?' Rupert responds that her reply was a very clear answer. She is with you forever; she is your own being. In fact, you are in some ways closer as she is now one hundred percent in your heart.
- Duration: 6 minutes and 43 seconds
- Recorded on: Oct 12, 2022
- Event: Seven Day Retreat at Garrison Institute – 9th to 16th October
A man asks about the ‘just be’ practice and state. Rupert suggests that the ‘just be’ is not just a quiet state of mind. Being is present in every state of the mind. The ‘I am’ is present in all experience. The screen is always present, whether the image is present or not. We neglect the ‘I am’ and as a consequence, embark on a great search to find it.
A man remarks that if the shift is gradual, then does it mean there is no state that can be called ‘awakened'. Rupert suggests that an awakened state is a misnomer based on the finite mind’s misunderstanding. Even less is there an awakened person. This would be like saying that the sun has varying degrees of brightness. It is always shining with the same brightness. Our being is always shining with the bright light of knowing. There is veiling, but it never diminishes. King Lear never awakens. There is always only John Smith.
A woman, whose son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, wonders about the non-dual perspective on mental illness, and asks for help dealing with him. Rupert suggests that she is doing the right thing in understanding that he is a beautiful, innocent pristine being, but the practical level requires more than this recognition. It requires skill in dealing with his particular needs. Don't allow the non-dual understanding to prevent you from helping him at that relative being. Mental illness has to do with the functioning of their finite mind, not their being. Their experience is known with the same awareness as everybody else.
A woman says she experiences more stillness but is less inclined to create and express. Rupert suggests that as the ego is diminished, expression usually emerges. When expression arises again, it won’t be in service of the sense of lack.
A man, whose wife died unexpectedly during surgery, started talking to her and received the message, ‘I am with you’. He asks, 'Where is she?' Rupert responds that her reply was a very clear answer. She is with you forever; she is your own being. In fact, you are in some ways closer as she is now one hundred percent in your heart.
A woman relays her regret for not being with her mother differently at the end of her mother’s life. Rupert suggests that in the quiet of her mind, she can go back to that scene and reenact it. Do and say what you would do now. This will heal that wound in time. Our beings are shared and time is not as it appears. Remove this illusion of time and separation. The past can be healed.
A woman asks if it is possible to directly know another being. Rupert responds that yes, it is possible. It doesn't take place in the mind, but if you know the being of yourself, you know the being of everybody. True intimacy is knowing the other's being.
A woman asks about how to have psychic boundaries and protect ourself without shutting the world out. Rupert suggests it's quite okay to shut out some aspects and to say 'no'. Even if we know we share our being you're not rejecting their being. You're rejecting their behaviour.
A man whose mother has dementia asks about Rupert’s experience with his mother. Rupert says that his mother gets sweeter and sweeter as she becomes more and more childlike. To begin with, he continued to relate to her rationally, which would embarrass her. What she wants is to communicate, and so now he follows her wherever she goes in conversation. And she is happier.
A man asks about doership, which he has difficulty processing because of responsibility for our actions and for creative work. Rupert responds that the 'you are not the doer' idea is not integral to the non-dual understanding but is a more recent addition. The non-dual understanding is more fundamental than that – there is no doer. King Lear does not do or not do; he doesn't exist. The important thing is to use one's activities in service, celebration and expression of the understanding.
A woman asks about how she can cultivate more love in her life. Rupert says that he sees the love between her and her partner; use that as a sample with others. We don't have to like everyone and have a warm fuzzy feeling. We can feel that we share our being, but may still have a strong ‘no’ to their character.
A woman asks how she can cultivate more love in her life. Rupert says that he sees the love between her and her partner; use that as a sample with others. And we don't have to like everyone. We don’t have to have a warm fuzzy feeling. I can feel that we share our being, but may still have a strong ‘no’ to their character.
A man wonders if we are all one being, then what is hate and who is doing the hating. Rupert replies that hate is the veiling of our shared being and evil is the action taken when we believe they are separate. We could only perpetrate an evil act towards someone who we perceived as other than ourself. Hatred is an intense feeling of a sense of separation. The person is not wrong, the thoughts and actions are wrong because they violate truth and love.
A man relays his experience while on retreat and asks if the essence of the teaching is as simple as it appears. Rupert responds, ‘yes’.
A man asks how you find the balance between effort and ease. Rupert suggests that life is hard enough as it is. No need to make anything harder. When your attention is required by the world, give it all to that. But when it is not required, then rest in your being. As a culture we’ve lost this knowledge of our essential being and are encouraged to ‘manufacture’ another object.
A man asks about the ‘just be’ practice and state. Rupert suggests that the ‘just be’ is not just a quiet state of mind. Being is present in every state of the mind. The ‘I am’ is present in all experience. The screen is always present, whether the image is present or not. We neglect the ‘I am’ and as a consequence, embark on a great search to find it.
A man remarks that if the shift is gradual, then does it mean there is no state that can be called ‘awakened'. Rupert suggests that an awakened state is a misnomer based on the finite mind’s misunderstanding. Even less is there an awakened person. This would be like saying that the sun has varying degrees of brightness. It is always shining with the same brightness. Our being is always shining with the bright light of knowing. There is veiling, but it never diminishes. King Lear never awakens. There is always only John Smith.
A woman, whose son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, wonders about the non-dual perspective on mental illness, and asks for help dealing with him. Rupert suggests that she is doing the right thing in understanding that he is a beautiful, innocent pristine being, but the practical level requires more than this recognition. It requires skill in dealing with his particular needs. Don't allow the non-dual understanding to prevent you from helping him at that relative being. Mental illness has to do with the functioning of their finite mind, not their being. Their experience is known with the same awareness as everybody else.
A woman says she experiences more stillness but is less inclined to create and express. Rupert suggests that as the ego is diminished, expression usually emerges. When expression arises again, it won’t be in service of the sense of lack.
A man, whose wife died unexpectedly during surgery, started talking to her and received the message, ‘I am with you’. He asks, 'Where is she?' Rupert responds that her reply was a very clear answer. She is with you forever; she is your own being. In fact, you are in some ways closer as she is now one hundred percent in your heart.
A woman relays her regret for not being with her mother differently at the end of her mother’s life. Rupert suggests that in the quiet of her mind, she can go back to that scene and reenact it. Do and say what you would do now. This will heal that wound in time. Our beings are shared and time is not as it appears. Remove this illusion of time and separation. The past can be healed.
A woman asks if it is possible to directly know another being. Rupert responds that yes, it is possible. It doesn't take place in the mind, but if you know the being of yourself, you know the being of everybody. True intimacy is knowing the other's being.
A woman asks about how to have psychic boundaries and protect ourself without shutting the world out. Rupert suggests it's quite okay to shut out some aspects and to say 'no'. Even if we know we share our being you're not rejecting their being. You're rejecting their behaviour.
A man whose mother has dementia asks about Rupert’s experience with his mother. Rupert says that his mother gets sweeter and sweeter as she becomes more and more childlike. To begin with, he continued to relate to her rationally, which would embarrass her. What she wants is to communicate, and so now he follows her wherever she goes in conversation. And she is happier.
A man asks about doership, which he has difficulty processing because of responsibility for our actions and for creative work. Rupert responds that the 'you are not the doer' idea is not integral to the non-dual understanding but is a more recent addition. The non-dual understanding is more fundamental than that – there is no doer. King Lear does not do or not do; he doesn't exist. The important thing is to use one's activities in service, celebration and expression of the understanding.
A woman asks about how she can cultivate more love in her life. Rupert says that he sees the love between her and her partner; use that as a sample with others. We don't have to like everyone and have a warm fuzzy feeling. We can feel that we share our being, but may still have a strong ‘no’ to their character.
A woman asks how she can cultivate more love in her life. Rupert says that he sees the love between her and her partner; use that as a sample with others. And we don't have to like everyone. We don’t have to have a warm fuzzy feeling. I can feel that we share our being, but may still have a strong ‘no’ to their character.
A man wonders if we are all one being, then what is hate and who is doing the hating. Rupert replies that hate is the veiling of our shared being and evil is the action taken when we believe they are separate. We could only perpetrate an evil act towards someone who we perceived as other than ourself. Hatred is an intense feeling of a sense of separation. The person is not wrong, the thoughts and actions are wrong because they violate truth and love.
A man relays his experience while on retreat and asks if the essence of the teaching is as simple as it appears. Rupert responds, ‘yes’.
A man asks how you find the balance between effort and ease. Rupert suggests that life is hard enough as it is. No need to make anything harder. When your attention is required by the world, give it all to that. But when it is not required, then rest in your being. As a culture we’ve lost this knowledge of our essential being and are encouraged to ‘manufacture’ another object.