No Instructions, Only Abidance and Friendship

A woman asks for clarification on falling in love from the non-dual perspective, as well as how love relates to the brain and drugs. Rupert responds that we use drugs and relationships to take us out of thought, which takes us out of the now. The only reason we try to escape the now is because we think that what we have now is inadequate, so we reach for a person or a substance or activity that we believe will make us happy. He suggests that we stay in the now where happiness always exists. Relationships can be a way to celebrate that happiness in the now.

A man asks a question about the effort required to pay attention to awareness rather than activity, like noises that arise within awareness. Rupert suggests that if it feels like effort is needed to pay attention to awareness instead of the content of experience, make the effort. It will get easier. He adds that turning our attention away from experience is an initial step – Via Negativa – which is transcendent. However, all experience is pervaded by being, is immanent, which entails turning back again to experience and seeing it all as one. Experience is pervaded by the knowing of it, by being itself.

A man asks about the instruction to be aware of being aware. Rupert responds that there are no instructions; the one reality doesn't need instructions. The simplest and highest instructions are 'abidance and friendship’.

A question is asked about the capacity to observe thoughts. Rupert asks, 'Why have an agenda with thoughts?” There is a tension of lack that creates seeking and resisting, and the thoughts are the consequence of this sense of dissatisfaction. Disciplining thought does not necessarily end the underlying feeling of dissatisfaction. Thinking begins to diminish as a consequence of abiding as awareness.

A man says that he had a period of expansion for several years but still feels a sense of separation in the body. He asks if doing yoga meditations for hours a day is a good practice. Rupert responds that sitting formally is not real meditation. Real meditation is being with being, which can be done all day. Washing the dishes can be true meditation. There is no distinction between life and meditation or prayer. It doesn't require sitting formally, even activities such as watching a movie can be done with being, with the beloved.

A question is asked about sharing guided meditations and what words to use, especially for newcomers to non-duality. Rupert responds that if the words aren't landing, another approach may be necessary. It's more important to be effective than to use the right words. There isn't a fixed method. It needs to change from group to group, person to person. It's more an art than a science.

A man asks, 'Who are you talking to?' in regard to the teaching. Rupert responds that the teaching makes a concession to the separate self, though it is understood to be an illusion. And sometimes the teaching makes no such concession. The one is not in need of any guidance and, as such, is more like a confession from the one. He adds that it is similar to the analogy of John Smith and King Lear. We still speak of King Lear, though he is a fictional character.

A man describes his recognition of oneness, that his being is the same as all being, but he still feels stuck. Rupert responds that the experience was a glimpse, a crack, and there will be more of those as the old sense of himself softens, and his true nature emerges.

A woman has a sense of love as the backdrop of all experience and asks if this is what Rupert is teaching. Rupert says love is the nature of what is and shines through all that we see and experience.

A woman who is familiar with Rupert's teachings and has been listening to his meditations for years, reports that the meditation from this morning, during the retreat, did away with any doubt she's felt for years about 'not two', and that the meditation was 'top ten.'

A woman references the morning meditation and relates her desire to give her body to the teaching. She could feel the teaching, the light of knowing, occupying her body. Rupert says that he’s happy to hear the effect the meditation had on the body. It wasn’t a conventional yoga meditation; it was a very subtle deep exploration. He suggests she take the understanding into her heart and body and allow it to do its work.

A woman says that chronic pain has a particular flavour; it’s got a history. Within pain, there is a contraction – that is, the wanting it to go away and wanting something different. Rupert says that resistance to pain is not egoic; it arises on behalf of the intelligence of the body. It is a signal that needs attention. Rupert says when the pain speaks, it says, ‘I am unbearable’ and when awareness speaks, it says, ‘I can bear you.’