Does the Infinite Have Purpose?

"In all wisdom traditions there seems to be a tendency to bash the illusion of the sense of self. Don’t you think one needs to love and nurture this illusion first to be able to live in remembering the truth of non-self? Rupert says: ‘The sense of self is not an illusion – the sense of being a separate self is an illusion. But all illusions have a reality to them. The faces on a screen are illusory, but there is something real – the screen itself. An illusion is something real that is not what it appears to be, whereas something unreal doesn’t exist even as an illusion. The separate self is not unreal; it is illusory. What is real about it? The self. What is unreal? Its apparently separate qualities. It’s the other way around from what you suggest: King Lear needs to recognise himself as the actor John Smith, and that enables him to love himself and all others. There are no prerequisites for recognising your true nature – you can go straight there regardless of the condition of your mind.’"

"If I fall in love with being, I’m falling in love with myself. And my thinking is, if I fall in love with being, maybe someone will come along and fall in love with me. Rupert says: ‘That’s a possible consequence, but it shouldn’t be your motive – being is not a fool. You have to do it for the right reason, which is for no reason. A needy man is not very attractive. No one wants to be with someone who’s needy, because it’s not possible for a person to fulfil another person’s longing for love. If anyone enters a relationship for the purpose of fulfilling their need, for the first few months or years the other person can fulfil it, but sooner or later they’ll start behaving in a way that doesn’t conform. The best premise to enter a relationship from is just being established, self-sufficient, peaceful, full of love. Then you want a friend to share that with, but not to fulfil any existential longing. What is deeply attractive in a person is their presence – just the sharing of being.’"

"You’ve said the infinite cannot know the finite directly, and God doesn’t know us. Yet when a young man spoke about his dark night of the soul, you called what happened an intervention. You’ve also said if we align our behaviours with our true nature, we’ll be supported by the universe. What’s the mechanism for intervention if the infinite knows nothing of us? Rupert says: ‘You’re muddling up levels (of explanation). In the infinite’s own experience of itself, there is just itself – no manifestation. So, the question about mechanism doesn’t come in. But from the finite’s point of view, there is a relationship with the infinite. The infinite leaves a trace of itself in our world of time and space in many ways – peace, joy, love, beauty, astonishment, synchronistic events, even a voice in your head. From the point of view of the finite, we can say God does know us, and more than that, God loves us. The relationship between finite and infinite is one of love from God to us, and one of devotion from us to God. It’s not conflicting – it’s different points of view.’"

"Does the infinite have purpose? And if it does, how can we know anything about that? Rupert says: ‘The infinite doesn’t have a purpose for manifestation, because any purpose it had would already be something manifest – a thought, an idea, something with form. Purpose, cause and effect are meaningful only in relation to time. But time is not inherent in reality; time is the way reality appears when viewed through a human mind configured in terms of thought and perception. We have no knowledge of time apart from thought, no knowledge of space apart from perception. If our minds were configured differently, such a mind would look at the same reality but not see it in time and space. For reality, for the One, there’s no purpose or cause and effect. What quality of the One appears to us as purpose? I would suggest it is love. What is love for the infinite appears, when refracted into time, as cause and effect.’"

"I heard you say suffering comes from moving away from what we’re experiencing. But this morning I felt crushed, full of anxiety. I don’t see that the suffering comes from resistance – it just feels present in my body, in my heart. Rupert says: ‘Without referring to your thoughts or memories, is there any emotional turmoil in you now? What’s present is a sensation – neutral, like the sensation of your feet on the floor. It’s not an emotion because it has no narrative attached. You feel there’s an emotion because you’re not yet looking clearly. There’s a sensation, and onto it you’re projecting a narrative drawn from memory. There’s no contraction in your heart – just a mild sensation onto which you superimpose the idea of upset. Pleasant sensations have the power to gather your attention from past and future and bring it into the now. That cuts off thought and memory, and you taste the innate happiness of your true nature. If you’re in emotional turmoil, it’s because you’re referring to the past, not experiencing just the present sensation.’"

"I’m still new to trying to access being. How do we abide there? The pull of my thoughts and emotions is so strong, especially during intense turmoil. Rupert says: ‘There’s no “how to abide” in being. The actor John Smith doesn’t have to do anything positive to be John Smith – he is John Smith naturally. All he needs to do is cease losing himself in King Lear. Whatever you are must be with you all the time. You’re not always in turmoil, so turmoil isn’t essential to you. The peaceful “I am” is shining right there at the heart of the turmoil, just coloured by it. To begin with, you must make an effort whose intensity equals the gravitational pull of experience. But every time you go back to yourself, you weaken that habit. It’s like a rocket leaving earth’s gravitational field – it gets easier as the pull weakens.’"

"I want to clarify the John Smith and King Lear metaphor. Are King Lear and John Smith (the actor who plays Lear) ultimately made of the One? Rupert says: ‘John Smith, in this analogy, is the One – he represents infinite being. King Lear hasn’t really emerged through John Smith; he is John Smith, albeit with a layer of clothes and thoughts and actions. King Lear is just a temporary limitation of John Smith, just as we are a temporary limitation of the infinite. You, Joan, are the one being – the only being there is. But what you are as a person is a mixture: your real self is the One, but you’re also clothed in thoughts and perceptions. This amalgamation of infinite being plus thoughts and perceptions makes the separate self. The selfness of the separate self comes from infinite being; the separateness is derived from thought and perception. They’re amalgamated together.’"

"I notice during these dialogues and meditations that a terrible pain comes in my hip. But as I go deeper into being, the pain goes away. I’m curious about that. Rupert says: ‘Restless mind, restless body. Have you noticed in our morning meditations everyone is coughing for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, then total silence for the last twenty? The body’s agitation – coughing, sneezing, moving, thinking you need water – is often the mind looking for an excuse to avoid the now. The now feels like death to the ego, so anything will do as an avenue of escape. I’m not suggesting there may not be another cause for your hip pain, but when your mind is agitated you feel it more, and when your mind truly settles, the pain disappears. Ultimately, all pain is mental – more doctors are saying this now. What we call physical is consciousness stuff, not really physical stuff. There’s a deep correlation between the states of the mind and the condition of the body.’"

"I recently chose a trauma-sensitive training, but now knowing the non-dual understanding, I’m not sure it truly aligns with what I want to offer. How can I discern what’s coming from the mind and practicality versus what’s really coming from being, from what life wants to express through me? Rupert says: ‘There are two possibilities when you try to take this understanding back into your work. Either your current work can expand to accommodate this new understanding and be informed by it, or your work is too narrow and can’t expand – so it cracks. You have to ascertain whether you can continue in that field and expand it, or whether you’d be restricted and frustrated staying within its confines. If you feel it’s the latter, I’d encourage you to be courageous. The skills you’ve developed won’t be lost. But if you carry on within that modality, you’ll continually come up against walls. You want to build a practice that enables you to bridge the gap between the ultimate non-dual understanding and an individual’s personal suffering – a methodology tailored to their needs without external restrictions.’"

"When we’re in the midst of a situation, it’s not easy without a guide like you. The mind says, how can you ignore your memory? It’s a fact. How can we practise this without guidance? Rupert says: ‘You need a guide to begin with because your own habits of thinking will take you in another direction. But in time you’re able to do it for yourself. Once you follow the guidance and go to that place prior to thought and perception, the pathway from your experience back to yourself becomes well-worn. The first time you walk through a dense wood, you have to clear the pathway; but after several times, it gets easier. It’s like following sheep trails on hills – sheep always take the path of least resistance. The pathways you’ve been given are the easiest, well-trodden paths that take you back to your true nature in the quickest way. Just follow the guidance, and in time you’ll do it for yourself.’"

"As a plastic surgeon, I find most patients identify with their body and want to be more beautiful. Is there a way to adapt this understanding to my work? Should I advise patients who don’t really need surgery? Rupert says: ‘I have no opinion or judgement about plastic surgery, nor about making yourself beautiful. The ideal is that you feel beautiful on the inside – you feel beautiful and lovable – and you want to express that on the outside. There’s nothing wrong with dressing nicely, brushing your hair, choosing a nice shirt. It can come from a sense of inner beauty, not from a sense of lack. If the patient feels lack, I don’t think it’s the doctor’s job to give advice if it’s not asked. But the doctor has a duty of care to make very clear what they’re embarking on, to make sure they’ve considered it carefully, that it’s what they really want. Any surgeon has a duty of care to ensure the person knows what they’re doing.’"

I don’t have a question – I just want to share that it’s life-changing to finally separate myself from thoughts, perceptions, history, and get into being. The same feeling I’ve had since childhood – I always wanted to live from that place but had to adapt to circumstances. I was accused of being silly or immature. Now I’m beginning to honour my true nature and have courage to be there while observing the disapproval of the world."

"You said a few days ago about not bringing the teachings down into everyday life, but elevating everyday life to reach the teachings. Can you elaborate? Rupert says: ‘I was speaking from the point of view of the infinite. The infinite cannot be appropriated by the finite and used for its own temporal, limited purposes – the infinite doesn’t fit into the finite. That’s what the ego wants to do: appropriate the understanding and use it in service of its own project. I was suggesting we should surrender the finite to the infinite rather than trying to appropriate the infinite to serve the finite. I don’t mean it’s not legitimate to lead one’s life consistent with love and understanding. But don’t struggle with what I say – don’t try to work it out. Just listen like you listen to a Beethoven symphony, not like a rational dissertation. Let it do its work in you. Surrender yourself to it. Don’t bring it down to the level of the finite mind, because the finite mind will impose its own limitations and spoil it.’"

"My five-year-old son loves your book I Am Always I. Last night he asked me a serious question about big emotions. I told him there’s a blue sky of peace behind all the clouds of feelings, and he can always find it. He wanted me to ask if you had a better answer. Rupert says: ‘I cannot improve on your answer. It’s a beautiful question and a beautiful answer. Say hello to your son from all of us and wish him the very best. Tell him I’m glad he likes I Am Always I, and there’s a new book on the way soon called The Blue Sky of Happiness – he’ll like that. How lucky your family are to have you.’"

"During the meditation when you asked about loneliness, I got hit hard – the loving and caring made me cry. I didn’t know if I was supposed to go back to the infinite or just let the emotions out. When are you supposed to let emotions flow, and when go to the ‘I am’? Rupert says: ‘The outpouring of tears came because in that moment you touched your being prior to thought, memory and perception. You got this wave of peace and love, and it expressed itself with tears – they’re an expression of relief or relaxation in the body. You don’t have to do anything then; you’ve been taken back to your being. Use whichever pathway feels easiest at that particular moment. Sometimes evoking the newborn infant will take you back easily. Other times you may have to turn towards the loneliness – wrap your arms around it, totally embrace it. Other times, ask what is aware of this feeling. And sometimes it will just be the feeling of surrendering to God. Brother Lawrence used to thank God for his suffering, for everything without exception. And sometimes when that doesn’t feel genuine, just let the group take care of you – let loving people hold you and carry you while you can’t do it for yourself.’"

"You say the being has never been traumatised, but the separate self has been. I’m struggling with where I’m having a narrative versus where feelings are a reality. The traumatised reactions keep coming back – it doesn’t feel like just a habit. Rupert says: ‘Your feelings haven’t yet caught up with your understanding. Your understanding is genuine – you know your being can’t be hurt – but you still have an old habit of feeling hurt. Thoughts change quickly; feelings take more time. Try to make a distinction between being sensitive and being hurt. You have a finely tuned nervous system – you register everything. That sensitivity is a beautiful quality, but because of it you’re easily hurt. You can be sensitive without being hurt. You don’t have to protect yourself or build a wall. You can still be completely open and sensitive, but let everything pass through without getting stuck. Don’t tell yourself there’s no “I” to be hurt – you have to feel that your being, prior to thought and perception, is like open, empty space. Being is the ultimate healer. The recognition that your being is already whole and unharmed – that recognition is the ultimate healing.’"

"I’ve been mulling over the phrase ‘I am that I am’, and it brings wonder and gratitude as I go on walks and notice trees. And when I apply it to someone suffering, I feel strong compassion. Am I on the right track? Rupert says: ‘What you’re saying is true, but it’s not really the meaning of the phrase. Popeye explained it well: “I am what I am, and that’s all that I am.” When you say, “I am”, you refer to the experience of being. God meant: “All I am is being, and that’s all that I am. I haven’t allowed my being to be modified by experience. Because my being is unqualified, it has no limitations – therefore I am infinite being, God’s being.” That’s why “I am” is God’s name. As for your walks: the fundamental property of any object is its isness. The isness of this glass and the isness of a tree are the same. Infinite being shines brightest in each of us as the knowledge “I am”, and brightest in the world as the knowledge “it is”. The great recognition is that the amness of ourselves and the isness of all things are one. When you feel that your amness is the same as another person’s, that felt sense of shared being is what we call love. The same experience with an object is what we call beauty.’"