Can I Abide in Being All the Time?

When thoughts or impulses come up, should I act on them or let them go? Rupert says: ‘It depends what the thought is. If you have a thought, I need to go to the bathroom, then I would act on it. If a thought comes up, I’m hungry, then act on it. There are so many thoughts, practical thoughts that should be acted on. And then there are also creative thoughts that should be acted on. Any thought that is informed by love or understanding whose purpose is to bring that love and understanding out into the world, those thoughts should be acted on. The only thoughts that you shouldn’t act on are the thoughts that contain the seed of separation within them. Don’t act on those thoughts, but investigate the separate self on whose behalf they arise.’

Could you expand on how the mind stores trauma and in what forms? Rupert says: ‘Trauma is when something gets stuck in the mind. The event has passed, but the mind keeps rehearsing it. When you hear the church bells in the middle of our meditation, the sound passes through your mind, it doesn’t leave a trace, because it’s neither particularly pleasant nor particularly unpleasant. A traumatic event didn’t pass through your mind; you entered into relationship with it. Your mind keeps it alive through memory. And that’s the trauma. By saying that your trauma is stuck in your body substantiates it, validates it. It’s not stuck in your body – it’s stuck in your mind. It’s like an idea.’

During meditation, it felt as though I went deeply into being, then suddenly thoughts about breakfast arose, tempting me out. Is this the mind acting as the serpent from the Garden of Eden? Rupert says: ‘Your being is the kingdom of heaven, or the Garden of Eden. Through force of habit, your mind doesn’t like you to rest in being for too long, because the mind remains outside. The mind feels starved and neglected, and it feels it will die if you spend too long there. So in order to reassert the mind-made identity, the mind will try to take you out. It’s just an old habit. Every time you go back to your being and you rest there, you gradually weaken the power that the mind has to take you away from yourself.’

I experience fear about what people will think when I speak publicly. How do you work through this fear while remaining rooted in being? Rupert says: ‘Anyone that really does anything in the world is going to invite criticism and judgement and a degree of hostility. You have to discern what is creative criticism, valid criticism, and be open to that. But you also then have to discern whether someone is just projecting their own frustration, their own judgement, their own conflict, their own negativity. You have to learn to completely ignore the latter. Being rooted in being, deriving your identity from your being rather than deriving it from what other people think of you, you are not invested in the outcome. It will make you much less fearful.’

When resting deeply in meditation, sometimes creative thoughts arise that feel inspired. Should I resist or allow them? Rupert says: ‘What you are talking about is the thoughts that arise when the everyday chatter of your mind has subsided sufficiently, that your mind is open and receptive, but you haven’t dipped down below the threshold of sleep. That’s a very creative seam – artists, visionaries, mystics, scientists, poets mine that seam. When I say resist engaging with thoughts (in meditation), I’m not talking about these kinds of thoughts. I’m talking about the kinds of thoughts like ‘what’s for breakfast?’ Those are mechanical, repetitive thoughts whose purpose is not to bring something new into existence. It’s just to take you away from your being.’

I hope that eventually I won’t need to meditate but can fully enjoy breakfast whilst staying connected to my being. Is this possible? Rupert says: ‘Of course, yes. I just recommend that while you are meditating, you don’t think about breakfast, but when meditation has come to an end, then you go and enjoy breakfast. Would it be possible to abide in being and be having breakfast at the same time? Absolutely. Yes. You can abide in being 24/7.’

In your book The Shining of Being, you say we’re always aware of our breathing, but I’m not always aware of it. What’s the difference between awareness and attention? Rupert says: ‘You can’t experience something that you’re not aware of. Attention is like the focusing of a beam of light. You were always experiencing this space, but it was not in the focus of your attention. Awareness is aware of everything, all 8 billion of us. Your finite mind is a narrowing of the field of awareness. Awareness is, by definition, always aware of itself. It cannot not be aware of itself.’

This week has been a redemption of my Christian culture, but I still struggle with concepts like original sin. How should we understand these teachings? Rupert says: ‘The original sin, if we can call it a sin, is the overlooking of, or forgetting of God’s being. Sin is a word that has assumed such negative connotations. The original sin, the primary sin is the turning away from God’s being. That’s exactly what ignorance is in the Vedantic tradition. All the actions that we consider to be sinful are the consequences of turning away from God’s being.’

I was raised Catholic but struggle with concepts like original sin. I want to walk in confidence in who I truly am rather than feeling I’m never good enough. Rupert says: ‘You shouldn’t think that everything that is said in the church is true. The idea of original sin has been debased by the church. The original sin is the turning away from God’s being, the forgetting of God’s being. That’s the only sin. All the actions that we consider to be sinful are the consequences of turning away from God’s being. Just quietly remain confident in your own understanding. I think Jesus was a God-inspired, God-realised person, whose mission on earth was to show people the real meaning of God. God is love. It’s the central message of the Christian religion.’

I understand the teaching intellectually – that what’s speaking is infinite being – but something still doesn’t add up. I feel perplexed about what to do next. Rupert says: ‘This understanding has brought you back to your being, but there’s still a kind of existential impulse in you to do something. You can’t quite believe that it’s just as simple as going back to your being and staying there. Your genuine understanding hasn’t quite put an end to this residual impulse of seeking or doing, but it’s winding down. Our being changes us from the inside. We’re not always party to the changes that take place within us, but our friends are.’"

A man shares how this week has been deeply meaningful in helping him understand and reclaim his Christian tradition through Meister Eckhart’s teachings combined with sacred music.

"What’s the relationship between sexual energy – the impulse toward beauty and pleasure – and being? My upbringing taught me shame around this. Rupert says: ‘The church has completely degraded sexuality and completely misunderstood it because our impulse for sexual intimacy is not really the impulse for pleasure. It’s the impulse to die, to transcend yourself. Pleasure is one of the portals through which transcendence can take place. The impulse for sexual intimacy is the impulse for union. Every impulse, every desire is always the desire for union. What you really want is the union. Sexual intimacy is one of the activities in which this prior union of our being is enacted in relationship. The church should consider it one of the most sacred activities there is, not one of the most sinful.’"

Sometimes I find myself clinging to the desire for being itself, and there are times when I don’t feel like I can access being even though I know it’s there. How do I work with this? Rupert says: ‘The desire for being is the inevitable consequence of overlooking or forgetting being. Whenever there is a sense of separation, there is always desire for – a scientist’s desire for understanding, an artist’s desire for beauty, a regular person’s desire for happiness. They’re all impulses to go back to your being through various faculties of thought, feeling and perception.’