Self-Observation Versus Self-Knowledge

What is the connection between pure consciousness and fruition, or enlightenment? Rupert says: ‘There is no relationship. It’s like asking, what is the relationship between the sun and being illuminated? The sun is illumination. So, pure consciousness knows no darkness or ignorance, no relationship with enlightenment. The finite mind doesn’t know that it is really pure consciousness, so it seeks enlightenment until there is this recognition, “I am pure consciousness”. That’s what’s referred to as enlightenment, but only from the point of view of the finite mind.’

Is there intention behind the play of manifestation, and are we destined to have certain encounters? Rupert says: ‘Ultimately, consciousness doesn’t have any purpose for manifestation. However, having seemed to localise itself as a finite mind, that contraction sets up a tension in the finite mind. And that intention is felt by human beings. Our desire for happiness, our desire for intimate relationship, our impulse to create is ultimately this impulse of the finite to be divested of its limitations. Inherent in each finite mind is a particular configuration of energies which will set that finite mind off seeking its true nature along a particular path, depending on the conditioning that went into its formation.’

How should small groups function in light of this teaching, and how do groups participate in its evolution? Rupert says: ‘We share our being with everyone and everything. The light of being shines in each of us in the world. When you get together in groups, it becomes a collective expression of this shining of being. The peace of our being just communicates. It’s contagious. A very deep quality of love and affection grows between the members. It’s powerful when a group of people like this get together. The teaching arises out of the meeting of our minds, and the understanding is then shared.’

How should one approach important life decisions? Rupert says: ‘Make sure that you refer back to your deepest love and understanding when you’re making them. You really go all the way back. Make sure your decision is aligned with and an expression of your deepest love and understanding. Is it something I love to do? Is it something I’m deeply interested in? Or am I doing it to fulfil someone’s expectations? Make a decision that’s consistent with this understanding.’

How can heartbreak be used to deepen peace and understanding? Rupert says: ‘You just have to bear it. It’s an initiation that you really have to go through. It matures you. So, don’t try to get over it. Just suffer it. Just let it be. Let it do its work in you. Take advantage of this situation to really understand deeply that your happiness is not dependent on another person. Someone who is not in need of a relationship is very attractive. This quiet quality of independence. The process you’re going through now is part of the process that makes you independent in this way. You’re just being prepared.’

How has the teaching evolved, particularly in your shift from ‘we’ to ‘you’ language? Rupert says: ‘I think “you” is more powerful. The fact that you understand this sends the subliminal message to me that it’s okay to do this. You give me the subliminal permission to take off. I feel emancipated from any tradition. I’ve done my apprenticeship. It lasted for fifty years. I feel the teaching can take off. You all somehow give me permission to do that. I feel kind of held by you all. And I think the teaching is evolving because of that. I could not be doing this on my own.’

How might one describe death to a ten-year-old child questioning mortality? Rupert says: ‘I’d have to feel what was behind the child’s question. My responses are not to an abstract question. It’s a response to where the question is coming from in the person. I feel where the person’s question is coming from. Our level of understanding is always implicit in our question. I just can’t answer in the abstract.’

How does one maintain understanding when returning to family and community? Rupert says: ‘You need a community of friends around you to support you. There are 50 or 60 groups around the world now. You can also start one. Make contact with people. People will come out of the woodwork. The friendship element is an important part of the teaching. Come back to retreats from time to time. Make contact with people here.’

What is the significance of our personal names in relation to being? Rupert says: ‘Each of our individual names are our individual name for the Christ principle in us, the “I am”. When you hear your name, you go, “yes, I’m here”. You go to the experience of you, directly to you. In that moment, you go to your being. Your name indicates your being.’

How can one integrate understanding when the body still feels contracted and separate? Rupert says: ‘All the old habits which arose on behalf of your old sense of being a seeking self, have to subside. Sometimes there’s a period of a couple of years when you haven’t found a new direction. I would recommend some kind of gentle movement practice or yoga practice, so that the fruit of your meditation is felt in your body. Go for a walk every day. Or, if your circumstances permit, take some time off, but be careful about doing nothing. Keep some movement and activity.’

Are worldly desires contrary to spiritual understanding? Rupert says: ‘Impulses [towards desire and ambition] are entirely legitimate. They’re consistent with this understanding. They’re desires that come from love in you. The origin of those desires is love. If you don’t [acquire] those things, you’re not failing your purpose in life. Your purpose is to recognise your true nature and then to express that to the best of your ability.’

In a humour-filled exchange, the participant expresses in several ways his appreciation for what the retreat has to offer.

What is the difference between self-observation and self-knowledge? Rupert says: ‘Strictly speaking, “self-observation” is a contradiction of terms. You can observe your thoughts. Anything you observe, by definition, is not what you essentially are. You can’t observe your self. Self-knowledge is possible. Self-knowledge means to know yourself as you essentially are. You cannot know yourself in subject-object relationship. You can only be yourself knowingly.’

How should one approach overwhelming emotions arising during spiritual practice? Rupert says: ‘It’s normal. The separate self in you is feeling threatened. It’s having a hissy fit. The emotions that were laid down in us early on, we repress them. But awareness is not threatened by them. The sun of awareness is shining directly into the shaft of your mind, and the creepy crawlers inside are bubbling up to the surface. Feel “I am the open, empty space of awareness”. Be completely open. You’ve taken the emotion so deeply into yourself. You turn something that is dark and distasteful into the light of your own being.’