Hollowness and Change

How can one reconcile a feeling of hollowness and the sense that nothing can change in the phenomenal realm? Rupert says: ‘Many of us have known you for several years, and you’ve changed beyond recognition. The fact that your chronic pain doesn’t terrorise you like it used to is evidence of how much things have changed for you. You’ve developed this capacity to step back from it, to go back to your being, and it doesn’t have the same hold on you. You say you haven’t changed or progressed, but you’ve been on antidepressants for thirty years and you’ve just come off them. That’s an incredible achievement. You’re like the old Zen master on his bed who, when asked how things are for him now, said, “All I see are my mistakes.” That’s all you see – your failings. But I know I speak on behalf of everyone here that knows you well when I say we don’t see any mistakes in you. We feel your intelligence, your humility, your humanity, your openness and the tremendous efforts you’ve made in extremely difficult circumstances.’

From event 05 - 12 April, 2025 Seven-Day Retreat at Mandali, 5–12 April 2025

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